So Rob Scuderi is hurt. This is not good. Luckily he is “day-to-two-day” or something along those lines, but he is definitely out for tomorrow’s game against the Florida Panthers.

His injury? Lower-body mystery of course. So let’s try and put our heads together and figure out what could be wrong with “The Stick” or “The Piece” or “Nails” or whatever we are calling him this week.

Maybe he has a bad charlie horse, a bruised bone or a sore hip? No, that’s too easy.

Bruised ego? Could be. Taking a hip check from Drew Doughty would put a lasting frown on my face too.

Let’s examine some elusive, but plausible maladies. If it were one of these, I would fully understand his embarrassment at keeping it under wraps.

Hammer toes? Sporadically clubbed foot? Ferocious fungus? Tickled testes? Spontaneously combusted and subsequently fused rump crack? Inflamed perineum? Coccyx camel toe? I don’t know what that is, but it sounds really bad. Maybe his knee caps are on strike and want to downsize and go green, like an Arrowhead bottle.

What do you think? Let’s hear some good ones.

Categories: L.A. Kings News


5 replies

  1. good ones! but seriously, you do know he has a boot on his foot, right?

  2. Yes, though I didn’t actually get to see the game last night, I read about the boot.

    The boot makes it less fun, though it does narrow it down to clubbed foot, ferocious fungus and hammer toes.

    Unless of course, the boot is just misdirection! ;)

  3. LOL…this all sounds like an episode of “House”.

  4. Yes, they have boots purely for disinformation. It’s probably a shoulder, like he said. Geniuses!

  5. Right, Quisp? It’s pretty obvious if you ask me.

    Has anyone actually seen the boot beside Hammond? He must be in on it too. Perhaps he really meant a boot, like a cowboy boot. Since they were in Tampa, Scuderi had to leave early to catch a sale near the beach. That’s probably where he got the tickled testes.


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