Because they’re from Detroit.

Because Holmstrom’s face is horrifying.

Because their jerseys give me epileptic fits.

Because they stole Brad Stuart.

Because they won Luc his Cup and not us.

Because they let Crosby win his Cup.

Because Babcock resembles the last syllable of his name.

Because Frolov would be a superstar on their team.

Because they are in our Conference.

Because they should be called “The Detroit Assembly Lines” if they want that damn wheel as their logo.

Because there are always traitorous Kings’ fans who wear red jerseys when they play at Staples.

Because I just do.

How about you?