MAKING WOMEN’S CURLING SEXIER

There is something sexy about woman’s curling. The cute outfits. The pony tails. The gentle manner in which they handle the rock. The smooth slide forward on one knee. The focused intensity and gazing eyes. The long pole and brush that they vigorously jerk back and forth in front of it. Even the yelling at one another, mostly in a foreign tongue, across the ice as they direct the stone to its intended target is hot. Yes, I consider Canadians foreigners as well. At lakingsnews.com, we know sexy…and we’re a little bored while waiting for the Germany v. Finland hockey game. So here are a few other suggestions to accentuate curling’s appeal to a broader crowd.

Pony tails become pig tails. Seriously, that, by itself, would increase the sexy quotient significantly.

For every rock that lands in the center, the other team has to take an item of clothing off.

No fat chics. This is directly corollated to the preceding and following suggestion.

If any girl touches the stone after it is released, she takes one item of a teammate’s clothing off.

Above the knee cotton skirts with knee high socks in their respective country’s colors.

A shot of tequila after each round.

No high fives. Only gentle kisses.

Simple and subtle rule changes that would make curling even more enjoyable than it already is.  Have a few of your own?



Categories: L.A. Kings News

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13 replies

  1. Curling would be much more enjoyable if it didn’t run long and cut into every hockey game!

  2. This is a ridiculous article. I hope you have a job aside from this. It’s crap like this that make a lot of Women still view us as chauvinist’s

    Enjoy Curling for the sport..

    and keep the articles on hockey for god’s sake.

    DOn’t disgrace LA Kings hockey news with crap like this.

  3. haha, i was thinking that the danish women’s team was rocking some serious cuteness last night. good post.

  4. Do you want this to apply to the mens teams as well?

  5. CURLING RULES! i’m completely obsessed… i’m sorry to say (with a chuckle) i’ve watched more womens curling than i’ve watched olympic hockey… and yes, being a true Dane myself, the Danish team has some HOT babes on it… but the Russian team had supermodels! and they’re all toned and tight… youve got to have a hell of a core to hold your balance and push off a block down a piece of ice… do all that sweeping… you know their repetitive hand motion skills are second to none.. haha… Bobby, do your thing… this article was a delight and should be celebrated and enjoyed… and yes Surly would tell the dirty jokes and start the fights with the Wing and Duck fans on the smoking patio… “hey ____(insert team)____ fans… YOU SUCK” that whole thing… haha… man looking forward to hockey at staples again!

  6. Fellow women’s curling fans! To add to your excellent suggestions…

    – The above-the-knee skirts are also low-rise, to complement the mandatory belly shirts, exposed navel rings and hiked-up thong panties.

    – If your rock gets knocked, one of your girls has to lay belly down and scream while two members of the opposing team get to scrub their brushes over your buns.

    – Halfway down the surface, a dancing pole is installed. Extra points for freestyle pole dance while the rock is in motion!

    – The final round is played with blind-folds on.

    – No medals. The winners get butt tattoos, right there on the podium.

    NBC ratings will skyrocket.

  7. Take away the Mens portion.Shape the handles on the rocks like dildo’s.Short skirts w/no panties.Otherwise leave it alone.I’m sure someone likes curling somewhere,but not in my house.Then again I can’t see the pourpose in figure skating either.

    • Figure skating is just a euphemistic way of saying “foreplay on skates”, right? The purpose it pretty obvious to me.

      • Figure skating should be womans only.No panties,and tube tops.Instead of giving them flowers at the end,the audience just throws dollar bills at them.A naked calander wouldn’t hurt either.

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