10. Their English sucks and their French is inferior.

9. If there was a great bear uprising, they would immediately surrender and side with the bears.

8. Their hottest women are American and European tourists.

7. They think that charging 30% more for everything makes them cool.

6. Montreal Expos. Embarrassing.

5. They lost hockey and managed to make a boring sport like football more boring.

4. The French sold us what is now nearly 25% of this country for a case of Bourbon and a pack of Marlboro lights. I realize this is not directly related to French Canada, but it is something I like to remind anyone with a French heritage whenever the opportunity arises.

3. Montreal has a ton of strip clubs but all the strippers in those clubs are from Montreal. It’s like having unlimited beer but the beer is Coors Light.

2. They spell States as in United States, “Etate”. Basically, the word State spelled backward. What is that? Some kind of fucked up insult? Fuck you.

1. Marty McSorley. That’s right. He’s Canadian. He’s from Ontario which is right next door to the Quebec province. I don’t give a damn what language they speak there. The bastard cost us the Cup in ’93 to Frog Canada. 30 years from now we are going to learn it was a conspiracy and rouse. It’s all so illicit.

Hey les fans de Montréal. You suck.