The Devils are 1-1-4. I don’t care.

They lost again tonight, this time to the Bruins 4-1. Still don’t care.

MacLean’s statement to the media tonight: “Sometimes we think we read how we are on paper and other teams don’t really care. For this team to win, it’s not going to take one or two guys. It’s going to take all 20 guys night in and night out and that’s no different than any other team in the National Hockey League.”

Dear John, if it’s going to take 20 guys night in and night out, then call your boss…no, not Lamoriello, your real boss, Jeff Vanderbeek. I imagine the discussion goes something like this:

Jeff: “Hello?”

John: “Hey Jeff, it’s John, wanted to talk to you about the team.”

Jeff: “John who?”

John: “Um…John Maclean. Your coach, er, the coach of your team. The New Jersey. The Devils.”

Jeff: “I am selling the team.”

John: “Um. Ok. But, we need to talk about the team before you…”

Jeff: “I am selling the team.”

John: “That’s great Jeff but we have a problem now.”

Jeff: “Not my problem. Selling the team. Don’t call back.”

You see John, if it’s going to take 20 guys “night in and night out”, then forfeit the season now. Throw in the red towel with the cartoon devil’s tail on it and run weeping into the locker room. In case you haven’t been keeping up with Jeff’s team, you can’t put 20 guys in the lineup night in and night out.

Not gonna happen.

Hasn’t happened.

I get it though. You weren’t thinking at the time you made the comment. You have used the cliché before, it sounded good and used it again not realizing, “oh crap, I can’t say that. I will sound like a moron. The team can’t put out 20 players night in and night out. We are not like any other team. We are the league retards that are so strapped by the ownership’s incompetence and refusing to listen to Lamoriello that the Devils cannot afford paying Kovalchuk the contract he demanded that I have to make do with somewhere between 15 to 18 players each night. Can I say, ‘it’s going to take 15 to 18 players night in and night out and that is very different than every other team in the National Hockey League’ and still have the same oomph? Probably not. I better find another cliché.”

Find another cliché, John.

Find a few.

You’ll need plenty this season.