TOP 10 THEORIES WHY ILYA KOVALCHUK WAS A HEALTHY SCRATCH

Surly & I have been known to theorize from time to time. So when we heard that Ilya Kovalchuk was a healthy scratch tonight against the Sabres (a game the Devils lost 14 to 1…ok, 6 to 1), our brains started moving…I am convinced one of these is the actual reason:

10. Kovalchuk asked Lamoriello if it was too late to accept the Kings’ offer.

9. Ilya reminded MacLean that playing defense wasn’t part of the deal and that would cost an additional $100 million.

8. Kovalchuk put in a two week vacation request.

7. Kovalchuk told MacLean he would give him a million dollars over 17 years if he would shut the hell up during games.

6. When MacLean criticized Ilya during practice, Kovalchuk responded, “hey, you want to compare paychecks?”

5. The mob had their money on Buffalo tonight.

4. Kovalchuk gave MacLean a signed stick when MacLean demanded more from Ilya.

3. Ilya asked Brodeur if he generally sucks this badly in the beginning of the season.

2. Kovalchuk starting asking his teammates who they liked as MacLean’s replacement…

…and the number one theory why Ilya Kovalchuk was a healthy scratch…

1. Kovalchuk told Parise when he reaches RFA status to not accept anything less than 7 years, $50 million…from the Kings.



Categories: L.A. Kings News, Surly & Scribe Top 10 list

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7 replies

  1. I’m thinking that it’s #5.
    We showed tonight why we don’t need him. And we’ll do it again when he comes to town, that’s if he takes the ice!

  2. Honorable mention: He needs Ovechkin to blow him so he can get his mojo back.

  3. Hey one jersey fan actually thinks you guys are the kings….or at least that’s what he said

    From Fire and Ice blog

    Good to see the Kings are getting a kick out of tonight’s events.

    Posted by tapiolevo08 on 10/23 at 11:41 PM

  4. It would be interesting to see what you guys would write if he did sign up with the Kings. My guess is the exact opposite. Just leave the guy alone, you aren’t worth his spit. An you are surely the real voice of the Kings – shity voice of a shity team.

    • We don’t suffer from the same narcissism as Cupcake fans. Your girls could lose every game for the rest of the season and you would still declare the Kovalchuk signing a success and your Cupcakes the greatest team in hockey. We don’t have to think about what we would write about if Kovalchuk signed. He didn’t, a blessing regarding which there is no disguise. We have more important things to think about like our players, our team, the rising stars and a franchise contending for the Cup, something that is firmly part of your proud past but will not be anywhere within your foreseeable future. Kovalchuk and the Cupcakes to us are road kill. You drive by or over it and wonder how that poor bastard ever met that fate…except we know and you do too. But hey, don’t let me persuade you. It’s not necessary. Your team will do it for you.

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