The New Jersey Devils and their 8-19-2 record are taking a well-earned day off for their annual holiday party. Surly and I met and talked last night about my infiltration therein and I am happy to report that the angry Lou Lamoriello mask worked well. What really sold it though was walking around with a constant face twitch while mumbling “$100 million…$100 million…$100 million…” So, without further adieu, top 10 things overheard at the Devils’ holiday party:

10. The real Lou: “Come on Dean…I’m sorry, it wasn’t me. Vanderbeek made me do it. I’ll take a 5th rounder for Ilya…ok, a 6th…oh come on!”

9. Zach Parise to Langenbrunner: “Sunshine…the surf…the ladies and lifestyle, I can’t wait…oh, shh shh, here comes Lou.”

8. Vanderbeek quickly walking through: “mother #$%^& cock ^&*! Russian primadonna…”

7. Langenbrunner: “ha ha, Holik is crashing the party! Hey Ilya, where you going?”

6. Brodeur to Zajac: “I’ll play until I’m 60 as long as the dumb son of a bitch keeps paying me…he’s what? Lou is standing right behind me?”

5. Tallinder to Rolston: “Better that you sign the contract first and then have the GM figure out you were massively overrated…” Rolston to Tallinder: “Amen, brother…”

4. Salvador to Parise: “So, how long do you think you’ll be out?” Parise: “Until this team stops sucking I suppose…” Salvador: “So a few years then?”

3. Lou’s wife to Lou: “Honey, Dean is on the phone again…” Lou: “What does he want now?” Lou’s wife: “He said he called to give you more shit…”

2. Arnott to Adam Mair: “Check this out [screaming across the room]…HEY MACLEAN, SO WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU’LL BE COACHING IN JANUARY?” MacLean screaming back, “@#$% YOU ARNOTT!”

And the number one thing overheard at the New Jersey Devils’ holiday party!

1. Kovalchuk to Elias: “My talents are going to waste in this shit hole…” Elias, while walking away laughing: “Hey, at least we have a superior school system!”

Categories: L.A. Kings News, Surly & Scribe Skits, Surly & Scribe Top 10 list

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2 replies

  1. All I want for Christmas is a new LW with two good knees…ah, hell, I’d certainly settle for Parise!


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