KINGS KICK NASHVILLE’S HONKY TONK ASS 6-1

I came into this game with boiling ire.

I left it with a smile and ready for the Vandals’ x-mas concert at the House of Blues.

Gonna change the world

With my hockey stick

Gonna make a real difference

Feed the poor and heal the sick

A nice kickstart to the night.

When Dustin Brown passes, good thing happen. The first such good was great. Brownie, who drove to the right wing side again despite playing left wing and confusing the hell out of everyone, sent a pass to Williams. The puck bounced off Williams’ stick, then kindly deflected off the hapless defender, and came back to Justin who, with his body behind the red line, popped it in and past Hatchback to give the Kings a 1-0 lead 15 seconds into the game. This goal all started with a breakout with speed, something that when the Kings execute well often results in high percentage scoring opportunities.

I’ll practice in my yard

Or in the showers every day

Until I get so goddamn good

That someone really super rich will say

“Here’s a million dollars

You can spend it how you like,

You can change the fucking world

Or turn it into something nice”

Poni told Terry Murray where he can put his dog house by working his tail off tonight. The Kings got the second goal thanks in large part to his hard work. He held the puck from behind Nashville’s net, to the left boards, above the slot, to the right circle, back-hand (seriously!), forehand and then sent a pass that once again received a selfless deflection (this time courtesy of JP Dumont) and directed to Trevor Lewis who back-handed the biscuit into the basket. Poni looked like an anabolic version of Frolov on that play. Note also where Lewis scored the goal – right between the hash marks, where pure goal scorers make their home.

I’ll use my stick for foreign matters

Giving meaning to our planet

And anything we ever wanted

We will get to have it

And it’s all thanks to my hockey stick

And skill in which I use it

A hero to humanity

I swear I won’t abuse it

Doughty made it 3-0 in the first on a mad scramble. Drew’s goal came from? Any guesses? Come on…that’s correct, RIGHT between the hash marks! Drew was playing with his hair on fire up to this point, looking to generate offense on every shift. Serious props to Kyle Clifford on the play that led to this goal. He skated without fear after the dump in and allowed Wayne to attempt a shot that never got to the net but caused the ensuing chaos.

Bareback was handed his ass and asked to plant it on the bench.

Hello rookie goalie, Mark Dekanich. Hope you used plenty of lube.

I’ll change the world

I’ll make a difference man

I’ll change the world with my hockey stick

Solving all our problems…

Like crack and aids and murder, violence, syphilis…

Global warming, floods and arson, rape, and birth defects

And things affecting ever person

Steve Sullivan scored a goal…big deal…

The Kings received a powerplay with just over 5 minutes left in the period. They cycled down low until the puck worked its way to Stoll at the point. Jarret without hesitation slapped it to the net, it hit Brown and came to Ryan Smyth who took a whack at it and appeared to miss…”appeared to” being the key words because the next thing we see is the puck arching in the air Krushelnyski style, over the befuddled goalie and into the net. Boom. 4-1 Kings.

War on crime and racism are problems of the past you see

Thanks to the greatest hockey player

That would be me

World leaders are united

From the joy to watch me playing

As the planet gathers ‘round

For the chance to hear me saying

“This place is now utopia

And heaven is on earth”

Me and my hockey stick

Can finally built this earth

More, damnit, more, I pled! Shane O’Brien, an imp posing as a talentless punk, stick handled himself into a turnover behind his own goal. Moller picked up the puck, he and Lewis then played keep away until Moller sent a back hand to the net. All work, no quit Ponikarovsky made one hell of a highlight reel goal by batting the puck on a forehand with his back against the net and while the puck fluttered above the ice surface. Pretty.

By this point, Nashville wore a soft brown coat and was about to become a serving of Osso Bucco. Predators, my butt. By my eyes boys, the only predators tonight hailed from L.A.

I changed the world

I made a difference!

I changed the world with my hockey stick

I changed the world

Yeah!

I changed the world with my hockey stick

I solved all our problems

The Kings’ 6th goal started with Oscar Moller intercepting an errant pass at the blue line. Moller worked the puck down low and the Kings started their relentless cycle. Smyth brought the puck to the front, partially fanned on it but still put it right on Jarret’s stick who again without hesitation sent it to the net. Stoll’s bid missed the net, bounced off the glass and came to Ryan in front who banged it in before the puck reached the ice and bestowed a Lindback style shame on the third string Dekanich.

People don’t appreciate the glory I have brought them

I saved this planet in its darkest hour

So they will grovel beneath the man that saved them from the curse

Appoint myself ruler of the universe

And lots of family masses they will grovel at my feet

And their lives will serve no purpose

Other than to honor me

And this stick it will now rule their lives

And dictate all their thoughts

And I’ll re-write our history

And thus reside as God

No goals in the third. I secretly wished for a snow man. Seemed particularly appropriate given the time of the season. Alas, I will have to wait for one…perhaps a late Christmas present against the Ducks on the 26th.

So…my mind is now a calm still pool. Some guy in a cowboy hat can hum a Garth Brooks tune and live to tell the tale.

I’ll rule the world

I did it!

I’ll rule the world with my hockey stick

I’ll rule the world

Yeah!

I’ll rule the world with my hockey stick

Just because I am that good

OI TO THE KINGS BABY!

And for those who have never heard the song and do not generally partake of the Vandals…broaden your horizons and enjoy this tune and creative fan video.