KINGS VS ANAHEIM DUCKS GAME PREVIEW: ‘TIS THE SEASON
If you haven’t read it, read it now. If you have read it, read it again.
Let us not forget that a mere 2 months ago, Corey Perry and Joffrey Lupul waltzed into a Kings fans’ Halloween party, uninvited, and destroyed said Kings fans’ Wayne Simmonds bobblehead in an act of immaturity and jealousy that will be refreshed violently upon Perry’s pasty white ugly face tonight. You can help. Scribe and I will be there passing out posters and photos for you to hold up. Display them with pride. Reminders of Perry’s atrocities against Simmonds and Lupul’s against fashion.
For tonight is the night when the Anaheim Ducks trespass on Staples Center ice for the first time of the season, and while other may think it is the season of giving, when it comes to the Ducks, it is the season of taking away.
Take away their game. Take away their rhythm. Take away their goals and their confidence and above all take away their two points.
We often try to keep the cursing and foul language to a minimum here, but sometimes only one phrase will suffice.
Fuck these guys.
More poetically (ignore the pro-Sharks undertone, focus on the altruistic message):
So who are the water foul this year anyway?
Well, they are the team that despite having played 5 more games than the Kings possess one less point and two fewer wins than the more beloved of the Southern Californian hockey clubs. They are the team with a defense as tough as a blond curl on a infant’s head and as in control as a blind race car driver. They are the team whose suck surpasses its rhyme with their moniker.
Corey Perry manages to score a bunch of points. As do Getzlaf and to lesser extends Selanne and a disappointing Bobby Ryan. Beyond that, there is nothing. The one Duck for whom I hold the smallest bit of affection, Lubomir Visnovsky, is having a season worthy of the contract Dean Lombardi signed him to several years ago. I am happy for him on a personal level and appalled on all others.
Some of you may unpleasantly recall that which Duck fans will cling to until we rip it from their feathery dead fingers, that the last time these two team’s met the Ducks caught the Kings in the midst of a slide that allowed the lesser team to skip to their Lou all the way back to Orange County with a 2-0 win over the Kings. The light of luck can shine on even the darkest corners of the earth.
But that took place in another building. A cesspool. A shelter for the inbred and the indiscriminate. Tonight the game we all love will be played on home ice. Energetic ice. Ice which fans of the game flock to whether their team is riding a high or low. Passion exists here, Pride runneth over and Power is forcefully exerted on those who dare enter Staples Center.
The Kings are riding a 2 game winning streak and after narrowly squeaking out a win over the Edmonton Oilers in a shootout after a grueling road trip, enter tonight rested and ready to ignite the fire in their eyes. Matt Greene returns to the lineup and Jonathan Bernier returns to the crease. Two men with something to prove is a recipe for success.
Kevin Westgarth will sit out, because with the Frank Zappa moustache on George Parros’ face, no one can take him seriously. If Parros wants to ring a bell, he can ask Kyle Clifford to ring his.
I always want the Kings to win.
Tonight, I need them to win.
Its been such a wonderful holiday thus far. The tingling in my bones tells me it will continue tonight.
Fuck the Ducks.
Always and forever,
GO KINGS GO!
One more time,
GO KINGS GO!
Its never enough!