File this under “drunk idiot.”

TMZ…yes, that TMZ, reports that “defensive powerhouse”, Mike Komisarek…I’ll wait until you stop laughing. Come on, it’s TMZ, “I’m a lawyer,” shut the hell up and get a career you putz, anyway, they are reporting Komisarek punched a woman in the face at an L.A. nightclub. Though I haven’t seen the incident date, I presume this happened after the game against our Kings on January 10. Komisarek is 6’4″ and 243 pounds. How big could a chic at an L.A. nightclub be? This isn’t an OC nightclub so that means she couldn’t be 5’3″, 210, packed in a red size 6 dress. I am seeing 5’10″, 115 lbs, tight black skirt to mid thigh, blonde hair, inspired breasts.

With that cool digression, the report states Komisarek lifted her up pretending she was the Stanley Cup, she objected by stating, “hey a-hole, you play for the Leafs, you’re not lifting the Cup in your lifetime” and proceeded to slap Komisarek. Mike then put her down, turned to Joe Corvo…who, for some reason, was just standing there and, er, watching, and Corvo yelled, “finish her!” Mike then wound up and punched the girl. The 6’4″ loser drew blood but the girl didn’t go down which further affirms this was a chic on chic fight.

This is the second time a Maple Leaf punched a girl. Last year, Mikhail Grabovski hit a husband and wife during the Olympic break, in downtown Vancouver.

Here is the absurdly exaggerated report from TMZ…defensive powerhouse….watch much hockey you sensationalist stoners?

Toronto Maple Leafs all-star Mike Komisarek is on thin ice with the LAPD — after the hockey player allegedly punched a woman in the face at an L.A. nightclub earlier this month … TMZ has learned.

Law enforcement sources tell us … the 28-year-old defensive powerhouse was named in a police report filed by a woman who claims the whole thing went down after Komisarek decided to lift her up in the air at a Hollywood nightclub.

We’re told the woman claims she demanded Komisarek put her down — but he refused — so she slapped him in the face.

The woman claims Komisarek immediately set her down … and then punched her in the face, causing her to bleed.

The woman claims Komisarek left the club … so she went to the cops. We’re told investigators are hoping to speak with the NHL star as soon as they get the chance.

So far, no comment from Komisarek’s camp.

I may have added a few unconfirmed details to this story for the sake of levity and readability. At least mine were fun and believable.