A feast of friends.

Alive she cried.

You’ve probably already read the gem of an article by Mark Purdy at the Mercury News.

If you haven’t yet, please, don’t bother.  I will not post his article, or a link to it, on this website.  I don’t want that trash clogging up my words.  You know, filth by association.  What I will do, is mention the name Mark Purdy many, many times.  Not for your benefit, for google’s.  The goal here is to direct any hits that San Jose Shark’s Mercury News Columnist Mark Purdy would get on his website to this article, where his stupidty can be derided with no fringe benefit to himself or his website.  As we call it, the NHL Referee Dean Morton treatment.

We’re honest here.  No bullshit.

But this article isn’t about us, it’s about Mark Purdy.  So, onto the bullshit.

Mark Purdy is a “writer” for the San Jose Sharks at Mercury News.  The issue is that Mark Purdy claims Staples Center is full of fans who don’t care enough to make noise.  Specifically, Mark Purdy writes that though the Sharks may have trouble playing against Terry Murray’s tight defense, the crowd will have no factor in the game, either positive for the Kings or negative for the Sharks.  Mark Purdy thinks that Staples Center is a place where the ‘glitterati’ as he calls them, go to chit chat and casually take in a game of ice ball.

Mark Purdy, is a fool.

The crowd at San Jose, an apparently more raucous one, is a supposed boon to their club and a detriment to the opposing team with their volume and fanfare. It must have been those Northern Californians then who helped suck the life out of the Sharks team that was decimated 4-0 in game 2 of the Western Conference Quarter Finals.

“Beat LA” they chant.  I’ve always wondered why they use this asinine and childish chant.  I think I’ve figured it out, and Mark Purdy’s picture helped me out.

“Beat LA” is something you can chant even with a face full of horse shit. Or in Mark Purdy’s case, a chant that would be intelligible through the vast number of cheeseburgers I can see he has shoved down his useless throat.

Let us hope that San Jose Shark’s writer Mark Purdy is in attendance tonight at Staples Center.  I sit right below the press booth. I hope Mark Purdy is in that booth.  I hope Mark Purdy hears the string of epithets I will toss both his and his team’s way in between the thunderous roars and applause for the home team.

I hope that Mark Purdy can hear silence, such as that he will hear at the HP Pavilion next Saturday when his gutless team is eliminated from the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

A feast of friends.

Alive she cried.

The friends are my Kings fan brethren. We feast on our love for our Kings and on the despair of our opponents.

Alive, she, Mercury News Columnist Mark Purdy, will cry. For she has roused a beast already chomping at the bit for the taste of Shark.

When the music’s over, the only lights to turn out will be in Mark Purdy’s office, where he will have nothing left to write about until the draft.

‘Lets Go Kings’ I will scream.

‘San Jose Sucks’ you will respond.

The Kings will go. The Sharks will suck.

The building will be loud.

The fans will be deafening.

Mark Purdy’s ears will split.

Mark Purdy’s heart will sink.

Don’t be mad at Mark Purdy. We don’t get upset with ignorance so much as we pity it. Let his boastful, misguided trolling words invigorate you. Turn Mark Purdy into the cheerleader for Kings fans he believes we lack.

Mark Purdy has started a pissing contest so let’s give Mark Purdy and his team the golden shower they so rightly deserve.