My heart sank when we went up 3-0. I tried to keep my emotions in check. I chewed on my LA Kings‘ hat. I lost command of the English language. In the middle of the second, the wife asked me how the Kings were doing. I barked at her. It confused my dogs. By the middle of the third I was on the living room floor making saves to each of the San Jose Sharks‘ shots on goal. Four got past me. Quick saved each of them.

When the buzzer sounded, I breathed. It felt good.

I am willing to forfeit the home thing for game 6 and stay in San Jose.

I should have told Surly to take a “if you’re a moron, chant Beat LA!” sign with him…or “9 out of 10 doctors agree that Beat LA chants cause incurable ignorance.” Alas, Surly doesn’t need signs. His text to me before the game…”This is awesome. So glad I came. Sharks fans have nothing.” During the game, “well, I’m having a grand old time.” After the victory, “whooooiookkoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!””””!!!!!!!!”. I advised him via text, “their fans will be as bitter as they will be ugly. Their women especially…” For the sake of our female readers, I will leave out the rest of that text.

Was I freaking out that the Kings were playing defense only since the first second of the second period? No…and yes.

Do I love Kyle Clifford almost as much as life itself? Yes. 5 playoff games to date. 3 goals and 5 points. Mark my words. We are seeing  the dawn of a big game performer.

Did I laugh when Terry Murray called a timeout? Very much so.

Did I curse Matt Greene’s name in that third period? Twice.

Am I convinced those bastards in San Jose screwed with the game clock and slowed it down in the third? Yes.

Was I screaming for Sharks’ coach Todd McLellan to put in Antti Niemi instead of an empty net? You bet your ass.

Did I fall in love with Ryan Smyth all over again as a result of that back check? Chocolates and roses.

Did I consider starting a religion dedicated to Jonathan Quick called Quickslam with no virgins and the trinity of hockey, loose women and beer? Already did it.

Surly is getting drunk right now. I’m going to go pass out. GO KINGS!