So, the Vancouver Canucks’ Green Men intend to attend games 3 and 4 of the Stanley Cup Finals…in Boston.

This may be the first time in my life I wish I wasn’t a Kings’ fan. Oh, to be a Boston Bruins’ faithful and have these two coming to our home. Yeah, we would probably get arrested. Surly & I, he carries two beers, we walk in front them, I grab each of the mutants by the throat and hold them back while Surly steadily pours the beer on their face, our own version of water boarding as we watch it seep through the spandex. One of them thereafter even flinches in my direction and I beat each of them within an inch of their lives. Eventually, I get jumped by security while Surly makes his escape, have my own ass kicked by three security guards who are 260 pounds each and I am ultimately arrested.

Would it be worth it? Oh yeah. My only regret would be the punches that didn’t connect and there wouldn’t be many of those.

I hate these guys nearly as much as I do the Vancouver Canucks, their players and fan base. I swear to you, if the Vancouver Canucks win the Stanley Cup, it will be one of the darkest days in hockey history. To have the dirty, diving, prima donna, subhuman rodents lift the Cup would be right up there with the Rapture where only politicians are saved, Donald Trump being voted People Magazine’s sexiest man alive, Osama Bin Laden succeeding St. Peter at the Gates, Kim Kardashian winning the Noble Peace Prize, Lindsay Lohan winning an Oscar, or Darth Vader slaying Luke Skywalker…and before you tell me, “have you considered that maybe Vancouver fans really love their team and don’t consider themselves as vile as you make it sound,” yeah, I have considered that, now have you considered that if you polled 100 Stormtroopers, they would likely consider themselves the good guys? So, shut up and get some perspective.

God Bless Tim Thomas.