So, the Vancouver Canucks’ Green Men intend to attend games 3 and 4 of the Stanley Cup Finals…in Boston.

This may be the first time in my life I wish I wasn’t a Kings’ fan. Oh, to be a Boston Bruins’ faithful and have these two coming to our home. Yeah, we would probably get arrested. Surly & I, he carries two beers, we walk in front them, I grab each of the mutants by the throat and hold them back while Surly steadily pours the beer on their face, our own version of water boarding as we watch it seep through the spandex. One of them thereafter even flinches in my direction and I beat each of them within an inch of their lives. Eventually, I get jumped by security while Surly makes his escape, have my own ass kicked by three security guards who are 260 pounds each and I am ultimately arrested.

Would it be worth it? Oh yeah. My only regret would be the punches that didn’t connect and there wouldn’t be many of those.

I hate these guys nearly as much as I do the Vancouver Canucks, their players and fan base. I swear to you, if the Vancouver Canucks win the Stanley Cup, it will be one of the darkest days in hockey history. To have the dirty, diving, prima donna, subhuman rodents lift the Cup would be right up there with the Rapture where only politicians are saved, Donald Trump being voted People Magazine’s sexiest man alive, Osama Bin Laden succeeding St. Peter at the Gates, Kim Kardashian winning the Noble Peace Prize, Lindsay Lohan winning an Oscar, or Darth Vader slaying Luke Skywalker…and before you tell me, “have you considered that maybe Vancouver fans really love their team and don’t consider themselves as vile as you make it sound,” yeah, I have considered that, now have you considered that if you polled 100 Stormtroopers, they would likely consider themselves the good guys? So, shut up and get some perspective.

God Bless Tim Thomas.

Categories: L.A. Kings News

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11 replies

  1. Wow….Bobby. You read my mind! :)

  2. HALLELUJAH!!!! I couldn’t have said it any better myself. I would give anything to watch the Canucks lose this final. I hate them beyond any other team in the NHL and wish their organization would just fall apart into another 40 year rebuild. Please answer my wish hockey gods!

  3. As a die hard Bruins fan who rooted on the Kings all season since relocating from Massachusetts I absolutely love this post and will be regularly visiting this blog. And I love that there are fans that clearly hate another team as much as we Boston folks do Montreal (I have personally found a way and reason to hate EVERY team in the East now but none more than those awful Scabs).

  4. There are a few teams that I would prefer not to see do it (like San Jose, Vancouver, and Vancouver, San Jose), but the only team that gets my blood boiling is Montreal. I want Boston to win it, but can’t help but marvel at what a well built team Vancouver is. I also admire their system (as I do the Red Wings), and long to see a Kings team that can learn to skate as freely, and cohesively as theirs.

    Green men are extremely annoying though, and so far not a single team mascot has figured out how to equally embarrass them. I would love to see (the next time we play them) Kingston, with a green suit on, doing hand stands on the ledge of the penalty box during one of their penalties, openly mocking the Green mens’ antics.

    The press would eat it up. Maybe I try to think outside the box too much.

  5. … I’ve never had a problem with the Canucks, or their fans for that matter. I’ve talked to quite a few Vancouver fans at games or at bars watching the game, and I suppose I’ve been lucky most of the time as I’ve met and talked hockey with guys who’ve been fans of their Canucks longer than I have been of my Kings. Are the Canucks a dirty team? Not as dirty as the Bruins, in my view.

    I don’t have any interest in going to Canuck fan sites online and dealing with them; I’d imagine they’re about 80% bandwagoners. It’s hard enough dealing with certain fans of my OWN team online, frankly.

    As for the green men – I’d agree that they have a lot of guts for trying this in Boston. I’ve always felt that they’ve been reasonably entertaining and unique, but it’s bad form to go and do this on the road. I’m thinking that this experiment will only end in tears.

  6. I have lived in Vancouver for the past 20 years and never…NEVER being close to liking the team and very much dislike the so called fans. They are extremely desperate right now. Half of the people don’t show up at work, streets are closed in Downtown…ridiculous! Go Boston Go! Kick their a$$ and shut them up for good PLEASE!

    • It might work against you to hate them so much now, because their not just built for right now. They’re going to be good for a while, so if they lose, it might strengthen their resolve for years to come, making it worse for you later.

      I want Boston to win, but if it’s not the Kings, I won’t lose any sleep over it. I do feel your pain living in Vancouver during these trying times though. I grew up living in, and out of Orange County all my life, becuase my grandparents live there. I moved back there, for a year, before moving to Oceanside.

      That was in 2007.


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