You Know You’re A L.A. Kings’ Fan When…

So, I saw a twitter post that read, “You know you are an LA Kings fan when you spell Stoll instead of still but it looks right to you.” The post came from @jorgesilva93.

I thought, “you know what, Jorge has a good point,” and about 100 different thoughts occurred to me. Some are:

You know you are a LA Kings’ fans when you find a spot in your backyard that is the perfect size for ritual sacrifice to the Hockey Gods.

You know you are a LA Kings’ fan when any mispronunciation of Anze Kopitar’s name qualifies the speaker as a moron.

You know you are a LA Kings’ fan when you think about the Kings as often as you think about sex.

You know you are a LA Kings’ fan when you fall out of bed in the middle of the night because you were, in your dream, making a sprawling glove save.

You know you are a LA Kings’ fan when your personal tie breaker for the next presidential election will be, “which one is more likely to be a LA Kings’ fan.”

You know you are a LA Kings’ fan when, at the sight of a 5-year-old child wearing a Ducks’ shirt, your wife has to wrestle your cell phone away from you and talk you out of calling Child Protective Services.

Your turn…



Categories: L.A. Kings News

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43 replies

  1. This goes along the same line as the child protective service one but you know your a KINGS fan when you see the same 5 year old wearing a Ducks jersey and you talk trash to them…until they cry.

  2. You know your a kings fan when…. you spend your days on youtube watching the same kopi, drew and brownie highlights 500 times.

  3. You know you’re a Kings fan when you dream of putting sand in Ryan Getzlaff’s Vaseline.

  4. You know when you’re a kings fan when you get depressed when anyone talks about anything that happened in the years 1992-93 because those damn Canadiens are a bunch of stick watching bitches. WE WERE ROBBED

  5. You know your a Kings fan when you redo your house and spend thousands on new furniture to make it just perfect but will fight to the death if someone tries to make you remove your Kings doormat or flag on the front porch. :-)

  6. You know you’re a Kings fan when you take a shirt hanging in the doorway belonging to your child’s best friend and use it as a spot rag because it strongly resembles a Shark jersey.

    You know you’re a Kings fan when your study group consists of only people who sport Kings gear, and your grade regresses because conversation never reaches the appropriate subject.

  7. You know you’re a Kings fan when even the Chevrolet logo makes you feel oddly happy!

  8. You know your a Kings fan when you change the movie channel if D1, D2, or D3 is on.

  9. You know you’re a Kings fan when you could tell you’re at Staples Center just by the smell.

    You know you’re a Kings fan when “that other sports team in town” is the Lakers.

    You know you’re a Kings fan when only recently did you remember what a goalie was.

  10. You know you’re a Kings fan when you walk into the tattoo parlor and the first thing the artist asks is “Right cheek or left cheek this time?”

  11. Here’s my contribution,

    You know your a Kingsfan when you spend more time thinking about Kompon and the power play then your girlfriend frenchkissing Megan Fox, naked.

    You know your a Kingsfan when your strait, but get a woody from watching Brown check someone over the boards.

    You know your a Kingsfan when your turning the radio station and recognize Nick Nicksons’ voice, and stop to hear the last 3 seconds of the commercial.

    You know your a Kingsfan when you have an opinion about Westgarths’ TOI.

    You know your a Kingsfan when you’d rather torture New Jerseyfans about Kovalschmuck on fire and ice then e-mail a close family member to see how their doing.

    You know your a Kingsfan when you’ll actually hurry up during sex, so you won’t miss the opening faceoff, on a replay, at 1AM in the morning, of a game you already watch earlier.

  12. You know you are an LA Kings’ fan if your dogs’ names are Clifford and Doughty.

  13. …when your wedding colors are purple and silver. This is a very very true story.

  14. When you ask your wife/girlfriend to chrochet a blanket in Kings colors.

    When a Kings game is on, everything else takes a backseat.

  15. Jeff Foxworthy would be proud.

  16. … when you won’t take the 57 freeway because you consider it enemy lines and you don’t want to look at the Pond.

  17. … You know you’re a Kings’ fan when the Robert Blake YOU know didn’t play Baretta.

  18. You know your a Kings fan when your wife knows she will be a single mother during the season.

    You know your a Kings fan when you use a Ducks jersey to pick up the dog crap.

  19. You have repeat tipping customers that you don’t remember, but see one patron with King’s paraphernalia on and they become an instant BFF.
    …..
    Driving, and say ” oh oh I think that is a Crown logo on the back window of that car..yes and there is a King licence plate holder”, so you honk honk your horn and give a thumbs up to the confused occupants.
    GO KINGS GO!!!

  20. You know your a kings fan when you keep on pressing refresh on the lakingsinsider web site.

  21. You know your a kings fan when everytime that you pass the honda center, you just want to puke.

  22. You know you’re a Kings fan when it’s 50/50 whether you take your wife up on divorcing you or going to the Kings game

    You know you’re a Kings fan when you don’t give a s–t about your kids or animals when the game is on.

    You know you’re a Kings fan when you sit each child from the age of 1-2 in front of YouTube and make them watch the Chicken Dance Song and say “Anaheim Sucks” every time you’re supposed to clap, until its drilled into their heads.

    You know you’re a Kings fans when you risk death by going to Montreal in 1993 and wearing your colors there during the playoffs.

    You know you’re a Kings fan when you can remember every game John Zeiler’s ever played.

    You know you’re a Kings fan when you can still read Helene Elliott

    You know you’re a Kings fan when you believe everything Dean Lombardi says

    You know you’re a Kings fan when you stop complete strangers at the Home Depot just because they’re wearing Kings gear and start talking hockey.

  23. You know you’re a Kings fan when you actually reap benefits from chanting “God-Porn-Boob-Doughty contract-Cammalleri girlfriend”.

  24. One more, I have to confess…

    You know you’re a Kings fan when you still, to this day, ask your wife to recount in detail that night she spent back in ’88 with Ron Duguay, when she was barely 18.

  25. You kmow you’re a King’s Fan when over the years the color Purple is half your wardrobe…the predominant color in flower beds..has now become a permant streak in your hair :)
    ..
    You know you are a King’s Fan because you are ‘Crown’ obsessed.

    You know you are a King’s Fan because seeing or hearing the word King puts a smile on your face no matter how crappy a day it has been.
    GO KINGS GO!!!

  26. You know you’re a Kings fan when the Moreau post produces multible short novals and you read them all in their entirety..

  27. You wake up @ 4:30 am to watch Kings home games

    You dress your first son like this in his very first day of life – http://photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs136.snc1/5808_1216132565718_1300960959_30627248_4615553_n.jpg
    Check the sticker too – http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs136.snc1/5808_1215514030255_1300960959_30624719_237542_n.jpg

    You travel every year from Italy to LA to watch the team you love

    You hate weekends when the Kings don’t play

  28. You know your a Kings fan when….

    Anyone at your work can tell when it is a home game because you proudly where purple & black EVERY home game and your desk is empty at 4:45 because there is no freaking way you are going to miss a second of warm ups…..

    and you have a crazy desire to go to Honda center and put a Kings jersey on there idiot statue out front…

  29. You know you’re a Kings fan when you name your pets Rogie and Luc.

    My poor cat Rogie has passed, though………..

  30. I HAVE A HUGE PROPOSITION!!!!

    We are all desperately in need of a hockey fix, and wont get it for another month… Summers are brutal. The heat, the lack of hockey, the tough job market, and the lack of hockey. The only thing summer has going for it is all the sweater puppies blossom into bikini puppies, and thats about it. (Boobs ftw!) Also tons of teams dont know how their prospects will step up and perform. Why not have a lengthy tournament in August to tie us till October that consists of only prospects? This give the prospects experience, front offices get to see how their players are doing after a couple of months of working out, and we get our hockey. I think its genius! Along with whoever mixed this AMF next to me… they are a genius too!!

    You know your a Kings fan when you spend every second of your 30 minute lunch refreshing Barry blogs, S&S, and Nhl.com non-stop hoping there is a shred of news to sink your teeth into.

    You know your a Kings fan if you have already ordered their new white away jersey’s. (So sexy)

    Go Kings!!!!

  31. You know you’re a King’s fan when you have reoccurring dreams of being on the team.. and letting them down :(

  32. You know you’re a Kings fan when you move to Iowa but keep your season seat because you know they’re going to win the Cup soon and want playoff priority.

    On the same note… You know you’re a Kings fan when you plan a vacation to Los Angeles (and request time off work) for June of next year when the season hasn’t even started.

  33. You know you’re a Kings fan when you own ALL their jerseys, including the “burger king” one!

  34. You know your a kings fan , when you banish your children to their room when the game is on and ask your ex wife to sacrifice a chicken because she likes the ducks. you know your a kings fan when after a win your wife is doing naughty things with her mouth and you ignore her because they are showing the highlights again.

  35. I miss the old fox sports commercials with the hockey fans in their jerseys ironing over their hand or having a door opened on then knocking them down all the while showing no reaction and going about their business attributing to the toughness of hockey players and their fans

  36. Classic!

  37. you know you’re a Kings fan…

    when your boyfriend understands he’s the twenty-fifth most important man in your life, behind your Father, Luc Robitaille, and the entire LA Kings team.

    when that boyfriend also understands that if he attempts to get your attention in any way during a game, interview, or discussion (or Surly and Scribe blog reading session), he will be sleeping on the couch that night. Unless it’s a late night game, in which case he will be sleeping on the floor.

    when your family understands that when it’s Kings game time, no one is allowed to touch the tv or the remote, and doing so may result in the loss of a limb.

    when the guy inside the Donald Duck suit at Disneyland has learned to avoid you at all costs, especially when you’re wearing your “Big Red Dog” jersey.

    when your roommate understands that the only reason you decided to move in with him, as opposed to one of the dozen other possibilities, is because he plays hockey weekly and agreed to take you with him.

    when you regularly dye your hair purple and black, and take pride when explaining why

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