Someone Give The Edmonton Journal Something Productive To Do…

Because they are clearly bored out of their minds. Here is their latest gem about Dustin Penner. They claim the photo shows Penner with an unflattering beer belly.

First, grow a brain. You cannot possibly tell from an out of focus photo of a player wearing equipment whether or not he has a gut…by gut, I mean a “beer bellyish” gut, to coin the grammatically challenged writer who quoted the photographer. The equipment, his posture, whether he was inhaling or exhaling all factor into whether there is a gut there about which we should be concerned. Second, consider the source. Would you like to know who @camfaller, the photographer, is? From her twitter account:

Nice...er, smile?

18. Diehard hockey fan. Loyalties lie with the Ducks & Blackhawks. Battle rap enthusiast, especially Grind Time & King of the Dot.

Come on…

Now, what the hell would possess a media outlet like the Edmonton Journal to pick up the story? Simple. It’s Edmonton and they are obsessed with their former players. If the Oilers were a chick, they would be the one that knocks on your door at 1am four months post break up, leaves a love card on your car one day & slashes your tires the next, calls to speak to your boss about what a dick you were to her and how he should fire you, hacks into your Facebook and posts pictures of your penis, dates a guy 6’7″, 350 pounds and tells him how you mutilated her puppy just so he will want to kick your ass and tells the Judge at the restraining order hearing that she doesn’t understand why leaving 42 messages on a Saturday threatening to kill you is a big deal when she never really intended to do it.

Someone tell David Staples (the Edmonton Journal writer) that his team will keep him plenty busy during the season when the Oilers finish a strong 29th in the league and accumulate more picks, only to lose them a few years down the line when the player(s) are ready to blossom, which will, in turn, give him more “he broke my heart so I broke his headlights” type stories.  In the meantime, get your own whipping boy because Dustin Penner belongs to us.

As for @camfaller, I will send you a photo of my six pack abs for a photo in return…tit for tat as the expression goes darlin’.

GO KINGS!



Categories: L.A. Kings News

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39 replies

  1. I could spend all day in those t(w)its.

  2. Wow! I just realized how much of an underdog Penner has truly become. Not only are Kingsfans waiting to hate this guy, but Edmonton is hoping to jump on the bandwagon (technically it was their bandwagon first) and root for his demise.

    Cmon Penner! give me something, so I can go back and rub it in their faces when their team is in last place. I’ll personally make them pay, I promise.

    Note: If you prove them right, I’ll personally crucify you on the blogs, but no pressure, really.

  3. i saw this picture earlier today on yahoo. so i did a google search for “dustin penner gut” and oddly enough this read was one of the top results:

    “Farewell Dustin, You Served Better Than They Know”

    http://www.coppernblue.com/2011/3/1/2019801/dustin-penner-goodbye-edmonton

    a very interesting read and one you don’t usually see. here’s hoping…..

    • Clearly this guy had some awsome points, and loved Penners contributions. Maybe the dreaded turn around is only limited to the small amount of games Penner played as a King, and not all Oilerfans deserve to be screwed with.

      Who am I kidding. I’m still going to troll Edmontonfans if Penner has a great year.

      Mwaaahaaahaaahaa!

    • … Yeah, that article should be required reading for quite a lot of people here. They might learn a thing or two.

      • Yeah it’s a good article. I especially liked the 3 parts where his apparently anomalous ‘career year’ was used to illustrate how good Penner is, even going so far as to bring up that old elusive skill set of his.

  4. Penner did not play well with the Kings last year. We can all agree on that. I hope he can turn it around this year, and I think he will. That will quiet the oiler fans down quick.

  5. Dustin should get back at these fuckers with a hat trick…

  6. Ducks AND Blackhawks? For fuck’s sake, girlie, I was on your side until I read that one – thought maybe Scribe was picking on you unfairly. “Diehard hockey fan?” And just what exactly are you a fan of, sugarpuss? As a Bears fan, may I suggest that you just wear your Hawks T-shirt and keep that shite to yourself when you visit and everything will go just fine. Jaysus…

  7. Hasn’t Penner given multiple interviews this summer and been seen at quite a few events? And no one has mentioned him looking fat? Only that he’s been working his rear off with Tim Adams? You would think that would count for more than one girl’s opinion on facebook.

    • I think the “end of the world as we know it” theorists are looking for any indication that they were right all along, and grasping at straws to find confirmation. Penner will be a failure if you believe hard enough. All those interviews, and pictures showing him as a lean mean fighting machine are thrown right out the window, based on the 1 picture from a absolute self proclaimed hockeyfan nobody, who carries more weight then everything that comes before it, because it fits their agenda.

  8. A fat gut, bimbo look, in public it’s fair game. Poor Dustin, big boned but with such a pretty face.

    Come to mention it, compared to last season, a pretty lean face in that photo…

  9. Never trust anyone whose eyebrows are painted on unless they’ve been burned off in a fire. If they haven’t, but they still paint them on, then proceed to burn them in a fire.

  10. Just because you’re not fat, doesn’t mean you’re in shape, and just because you’re a bit of a tub, doesn’t mean you can’t move your ass around.

  11. Seriously? hahahahahahaha. This article is ridiculous.
    I was there at the charity game..and in all honesty kings fans..Penner worked harder during that game than he did during all of the games he played for LA.
    As for Penner’s look. He looked skinnier. Until he walked around with his shirt off. That gut is very real.
    Lay off the girl. She’s a ducks fan. it’s her job to catch things like this. Why attack her? She isn’t the one playing for your damn team. If anything..she’s just helping you fans out..exposing what your players look like.

  12. first of alllllllllll, lol all over this fucking article. how pathetic is your life sir? she posted a photo of penner while she was at the fedorin cup. how is it her fault that penner has a gut? in no way did she ever say HEY LOOK AT THIS FATTY. get the fuck over yourself. sorry you’re bored during the hockey season but picking on girls is just pathetic. have fun never getting laid

    • Really? Picking on girls? A bit touchy? If a guy had posted it, I’m sure they would have had the same response. Pulling the gender card in something like this is pathetic.

      • The only person demonstrating touchy is you gizmo. We are having fun and, as you may read, the “girl” (as you refer to her) that started it all is good natured and has a sense of humor about it based on her comments. Now, take your prozac and go sit in a corner.

  13. Looks like @camfaller’s mother and brother have joined us here…they like rappers too. Welcome kids.

  14. and my love of rap is relevant becauseeee…? you guys are pathetic. hahaha.

  15. and my eyebrows are most certainly not painted on. stay mad, bro.

    • Nah. Not mad. We are having fun at your expense, just like you had fun at Penner’s expense. Ducks fans should expect that from Kings’ fans and vice versa, don’t you think? Here, you are in our home. So, enter expecting abuse…and if we say your eyebrows are painted on, they are painted on…even though I have no idea from where Surly got that.

      • i wasn’t exactly having fun at his expense. i tweeted it because it was funny to my friends and i, yes. but i never said anything negative about him. i sarcastically said he looked “GREAT”, but other than that, i said it looked like he had a bit of a beer belly. that’s it. never called him fat or anything else. i even said that he does look a lot better than he has before (he was even skating faster than last season and i mentioned that as well). but now the things being said about me in response are completely uncalled for. it’s just funny how blown out of proportion this has gotten considering the picture was an accident. i didn’t notice his stomach in the photo until i went back to sit down with my friends. the intent behind me posting it was not malicious like people are making it sound. i don’t care THAT much or else i would be plastering it everywhere. it’s really just been taken the completely wrong way. that’s all i can say.

        • That sometimes happens. Don’t let it get to you. Come now, you know you had fun with it especially when the Edmonton Journal picked it up. You also gave us a chance to pick at David Staples of the Journal for his crap article. Win-win. Now, why do you suppose Surly thinks your eyebrows are painted on? And why is he looking at your eyebrows?

          • i had no clue that guy even worked for the edmonton journal. i thought he was just curious about the picture because he was a kings fan or something. i only realized once the article was posted. and tbh, no idea why he thinks that. i guess my eyebrows look kinda thin. but you can def tell the difference.

          • But did you have any fun after his article with your photo and quote posted?

          • Just a random thought in a random moment. If you want context, my grandmother painted her eyebrows on because they got singed off by a gust of boiling air. It was half jab (it’s a small photo, but come on… They look like paint, not hair) /half homage to my grandma. If you hadn’t noticed, much of the things said on this site are in jest.

            In fairness, you are getting the hard time here not so much because of the photo really, but because you are a Duck fan, which is really a shame, for you and your Duck loving sub-species, but this rings true independently of this photo. Of course, we are only discussing you because of the photo, but we only really know of the photo because that rag that calls itself a newspaper/blog the Edmonton Journal decided your photo was worth posting an article about for mass consumption. So the Journal is really the party here with the utmost retardation. However, once again you’re a Duck fan, so there is no avoiding some retardation spillover being tossed your way for this mere fact. Do a quick search of this site for the term ‘duck’ and you’ll realize that you are far from being singled out in this regard.

            Enjoy your 15 minutes of fame. Hopefully some good will come out of all this. Perhaps you’ll start to listen to real music, or better yet, start to like a hockey team whose namesake I didn’t eat for dinner last week.

            Humor is your friend and be glad and proud that you have inadvertently contributed to the spread of amusement. It’s a good thing.

          • as a girl, i prefer having thinner eyebrows. and as a guy, they look VERY small to you i’m sure. that’s fine, haha. i wouldn’t really call this 15 minutes of fame… it’s more obnoxious than anything. some people aren’t taking it as poorly as others at least.

  16. Also, our culture is pretty hilarious. Your tits are the subtext of a large part of this post, but you make no peep about that… But i go and mention your eyebrows and watch out, the gloves come off. :)

    This makes me think that i could conduct an interesting experiment. Go to the mall and say to random women ‘hey, look at your tits, those are some tits, ain’t they?’ and then say to other random woman ‘what’s with your eyebrows?’ and see how many times each group slaps me in the face. If only Alfred Kinsey were alive to help me with such important research.

  17. I didn’t even realize there was a surprise guest interview. Way to sneak this one in guys.

    YT, That’s what happens when your part of the news. Regardless of wether you like it or not, people are going to pick you apart. If you didn’t ask for it, or want it, then you should straiten out that dipshit David Staples.

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