Because they are clearly bored out of their minds. Here is their latest gem about Dustin Penner. They claim the photo shows Penner with an unflattering beer belly.
First, grow a brain. You cannot possibly tell from an out of focus photo of a player wearing equipment whether or not he has a gut…by gut, I mean a “beer bellyish” gut, to coin the grammatically challenged writer who quoted the photographer. The equipment, his posture, whether he was inhaling or exhaling all factor into whether there is a gut there about which we should be concerned. Second, consider the source. Would you like to know who @camfaller, the photographer, is? From her twitter account:
18. Diehard hockey fan. Loyalties lie with the Ducks & Blackhawks. Battle rap enthusiast, especially Grind Time & King of the Dot.
Now, what the hell would possess a media outlet like the Edmonton Journal to pick up the story? Simple. It’s Edmonton and they are obsessed with their former players. If the Oilers were a chick, they would be the one that knocks on your door at 1am four months post break up, leaves a love card on your car one day & slashes your tires the next, calls to speak to your boss about what a dick you were to her and how he should fire you, hacks into your Facebook and posts pictures of your penis, dates a guy 6’7″, 350 pounds and tells him how you mutilated her puppy just so he will want to kick your ass and tells the Judge at the restraining order hearing that she doesn’t understand why leaving 42 messages on a Saturday threatening to kill you is a big deal when she never really intended to do it.
Someone tell David Staples (the Edmonton Journal writer) that his team will keep him plenty busy during the season when the Oilers finish a strong 29th in the league and accumulate more picks, only to lose them a few years down the line when the player(s) are ready to blossom, which will, in turn, give him more “he broke my heart so I broke his headlights” type stories. In the meantime, get your own whipping boy because Dustin Penner belongs to us.
As for @camfaller, I will send you a photo of my six pack abs for a photo in return…tit for tat as the expression goes darlin’.
Categories: L.A. Kings News