Do Not Read This Drew Doughty Update

While in bed and reading about the merits of the slow motion practice method to the golf swing, I diverted my attention and checked my emails on my phone. Our source sent me an email at 10:57pm tonight…I read it at 11:32pm. I am typing this at 11:33pm.

You shouldn’t read this. Click away, go back to what you were doing. Please.


If you must know, we are now told everyone spoke on the phone today. The LA Kings and Drew Doughty have reached a deal. Take your grain of salt, add Excedrin or whatever suits your migraine needs…better yet, whiskey, neat.

I am telling you what I have been told. I am the messenger. If this is wrong, by all means, kill the messenger. I offer myself as the martyr. You bring the altar.

I don’t have the details. Our source has tried to get it but nothing yet and, quite frankly, I wasn’t even going to post this until we had the terms but it’s late and I felt compelled to tell you what I know despite the fact right now, somewhere, someone’s unmentionables may be getting in a twist. I obviously don’t know when the Kings will announce it. Will they wait until Fan Fest? That would be fun…a bit sadistic but fun.

If I were you, I would ignore this article and get some deserved sleep…I am now stuck trying to hide my head under pillows each time my phone makes a noise alerting me to a new text, trying to avoid checking emails, and I don’t want to hear the phone ring…a similar plight as our source. Anticipation of death is worse than death itself. Nothing to see here. Move along.

As a side note…Go Kings.

Categories: L.A. Kings News

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35 replies

  1. I have totally ignored this! Holy shit! I am ignoring this!!!!!!! YES!!!! Totally ignored.

  2. I love when shit says dont open or dont read
    good stuff
    a co-worker once took a really nice girly box and
    wrote “don’t open this” on top. Two different chix screamed when they opened it and saw the huge cockroach running around inside

  3. OMG the hockey gods are finally on our side!!!!

  4. If he gets more than Kopitar it’s a terrible deal.

  5. I read it with one eye closed. I hope your source is right.

  6. Well, either way, you’re right, they’ll get a deal done no matter what happens.

    Take that Quisp.

    But either way, it’d be nice, if this was true, that they’d announce it sooner than later so the collective population of King fans can first bitch about the contract and then collect ourselves and be psyched for the season.

    I had some ideas on the blog you wrote about the fan experience inside of Staples Center and what we can do to liven it up. When I get some time I will write it.

  7. “Take that, everyone!”

    Oh goodness, either commit to it or not. I’m sympathetic, but skeptics have a reason to persist until it’s confirmed.

  8. Even if the Kings intend to keep a deal secret til Hocey Fest, it’ll leak. You can’t keep these things secret in this day and age. I hope you’re right, Bobby. This has officially dragged on way too long and is now worse than the Kovy fiasco last summer. But all will be forgiven with a signed contract. Go Kings!!!

  9. read what?

  10. If there’s smoke, There’s…. S&S in the bushes rubbing 2 sticks together.

  11. FUCK TOO LATE! (Gouging out eyeballs)

  12. Jeeez! Another troubling day for hockey. My condolences go out to the families affected by the awful plane crash in Russia. Some familiar names on that plane….

    Makes this Doughty thing seems a bit small, doesn’t it?

    Peace, my brothers and sisters!

  13. It’s official, it has to be true…hockeybuzz-Ek had a “source” confirmimg it, that should be good enough, right?

  14. Aaaannndd CUE the Ad hominem attacks in … three … two …..

  15. Hard to be excited with more important things happening in hockey, but seems like positive news. Maybe.

    • There is no news. You didn’t read any of it. Never happened. Never reported. Try to keep up, Dom…by the way, your nickname is hereinafter “Dom” or the “Dominator”

  16. Comin Drew! I need some good news after today’s tragedy. Just sign the contract already?

  17. F Drew! What did the book tell you about slow motion practice???? My hook is killing me!!!!!!!!

    • If you are hooking then most likely your arms are moving too much and too quickly. Peyote that or your swing plane is too flat. Play around with those two things.

      But the thing you really have to remember is that if you want to improve your golf game, ignore Bobby :)

  18. Despite the heat you guys get. I appreciate the updates.

  19. I think a Deal is done. Just the Kings and Doughty have respect and not want post anything. They want the NHL fans attention towards and respect to the player we lost from the KHL.

  20. Has Drew signed yet?


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