So, Surly did the noble thing and decided to go to Kansas City for the Kings v. Penguins game. His boss technically told him he couldn’t have the day off, but I suggested Surly pull a homeless guy off the street, take him to work and let the man just stand there holding a video camera because nobody would notice. I am told it worked.

Given his stealth nature and ability to blend, Surly somehow got behind the scenes without a press pass. He just sent me the handwritten transcript of an interview between Rich Hammond and Terry Murray he overheard where Rich asked some uncharacteristically direct and poignant questions of our coach and Terry actually…well, it’s just better you read it for yourself although don’t expect this interview to ever hit the light of day anywhere else. In fact, you can consider this a Surly & Scribe exclusive.

Hammond: “So, that was another tough loss in a shootout.”

Murray: “It was but I liked a lot of what I saw out there. We were competing, playing a heavy game, good checking and we did score 2 goals so we met our quota.”

Hammond: “Wait. Quota? The team has a quota for goals?”

Murray: “…”

Hammond: “I mean…ok, so you used the word quota, what, er, what did you mean by that?”

Murray: “You don’t know what quota means?”

Hammond: “Uh. I do, but not in this context I guess.”

Murray: “How long have you been the [making the quotation sign with his hands] ‘beat writer’ for this team?”

Hammond: “Since 2009, I think. Yeah. 2009.”

Murray: “uh huh and in that time, have you noticed about how many goals we average per game?”

Hammond: “Two?”

Murray: “Next question.”

Hammond [clearing throat]: “So, you didn’t put Andrei Loktionov in the shootout tonight. Why was that?”

Murray: “He scored a goal last game on the breakaway and…” [Murray's voice drops into an inaudible mumble]

[awkward pause]

Hammond: “He met his quota?”

Murray: “He met his quota.”

Hammond: “Oh, the Phoenix game! The Kings scored 3 goals in that game, so that exceeded this quota, right?”

Murray: “The Phoenix game in Phoenix…”

Hammond: “Yes?”

Murray [sighs]: “And who coached that game?”

Hammond: “John Stevens…”

Murray: “John Stevens…that man has no discipline.”

Hammond: “Did the line changes you make before the game have their intended effect?”

Murray: “They satisfied my need for random and senseless change, so yes.”

Hammond: “Do you intend more changes before the next game?”

Murray: “Does lightning come in a bottle?”

Hammond: “Yes?”

Murray: “Yes.”

Hammond: “There are some who question the line changes as being inconsistent with your goal of chemistry, any response to that?”

Murray: “Are you referring to those Surly & Scribe idiots?”

Hammond: “Kind of…”

Murray: “Yeah, that Doughty deal sure is done in principle, huh?”

[Hammond and Murray laugh]

[Surly scowls]

Murray: “Consider the source…”

Let’s thank Surly for once again sacrificing life, limb and dignity to bring us this interview. I understand there is a bit of bad news to report however. It seems that homeless guy worked out a little better than expected and, well, Surly is out of a job, but hey…