When I heard the New Jersey Devils gave the C to Zach Parise, my immediate response was pfft.

I then realized what they are doing. It’s like an impending breakup. Your chick is hot, real hot. She has breasts that can provide shade for a small boy, a little waist, slender hips, big brown eyes and beautiful lips. She is charming, sweet and has a bachelor’s degree in Pilates. There is one problem. You sense she’s not in love with you anymore. She loves you, she’s just not “in love” with you. You may live together now but your discussions resemble polite conversation and you suspect she may have eyes for someone else. A lot of cell phone calls are taken in another room and often in whispers. She has never said she is leaving you. She even has a reassuring laugh and kind words for you every once in a while but her eyes tell the real story. She’s lost that loving feeling, woah, that loving feeling.

From nj.com

Goalie Martin Brodeur was asked how he thought Parise would measure up to past captains like Scott Stevens, Scott Niedermayer, Elias, Bruce Driver and Jamie Langenbrunner.

“He’s got to stay here. That’s the bottom line,” Brodeur said, referring to the fact Parise has only a one-year contract. “That’s how we’re going to know how good he is as a captain.”

Nice guilt trip there, Marty.

Of course, many observers will wonder whether Devils’ management decided to give the captaincy to Parise hoping it will convince him to stay beyond this season.

“I wasn’t in those meetings, so I don’t know,” Parise said with a laugh.

Will it work?

“Yes,” he answered with another laugh.

Sometimes women lie.