It’s Only A Franchise Record – Kings Shutout That Dumbass Texas Team

My throat hurts.

It’s a good hurt.

Actually, it’s not, it’s pretty damn painful, but I am thrilled to have thrashed it screaming along to beat of Jonathan Quick’s drum. 4th franchise record? Piece of cake. Bring on the 4th shutout he says. This is child’s play.

I have to admit, it’s a little tedious to write a post game when the Kings do basically everything right. Sure, they tried to force the point shot more in this game than in the last three, but John Jackson scored the only goal of the game on a point shot.

Yeah I know that Penner is still really slow, but he made some high quality plays and overall had one of his best games as a King. I guess Slava Voynov made some mistakes, or rather, he could have made a few better reads, but did you see him smother Jamie Benn all night like a pillow over a wife who talks too much?

Fine, fine, I’ll give you that the Kings got caught running around a few times in the second period and scrambled their way through parts of the third, but does that matter when Greene plays such a dominating game and hits Robidas harder than sobriety hits a heroin addict? Do you care about the little mistakes, like the 4th line going up against the Erikkson line when Westgarth shows speed and poise through the neutral zone not once, but twice? How much do you care about Kopitar and Gagne playing slightly less effective games when Quick stops everything from the point blank shots to the redirected bouncers. We are willing to forgive the Stars getting some high percentage shots when our defense refused to allow them rebound chances.

Furthermore, my heart refuses to sink just because some effeminate nitwit in front of me got his panties in a twist when I yelled “If any ladies here need a douching, don’t worry, Ribiero is right there.” I didn’t even mind that he stared me down for several minutes of the third period with a look that said “if you don’t shut up I’m gonna… I’m gonna… Look at you meaner!” because the rest of my Kings’ brethren who actually went to the game to, you know, watch the damn thing, happily lost their voices next to mine, chanting the chants, oohing and aahing the almost-goals, applauding the hits with blood thirsty howls and brandishing their lungs like weapons against an absolute dogshit call against Gagne for the egregious act of getting thrown into the goaltender.

I kind of wish that guy was reading this, because then I could tell him that a hockey game is not the proper place to try and steal away some lady’s husband. Though to be fair, that lady was much more into the game than her probably-about-to-cheat-on-her-with-a-man husband was, which was fine up until the horrendous gyrations that she effused during the music and dancing-laden commercial breaks. That was horrifying.

While we have shot off tangentially into the fan experience part of the game, I would like to send my congratulations to the gentleman who used the new ‘Bring It Like Bob’ game as an opportunity to announce to the stadium that “Dallas sucks balls.” For those of you wondering what I’m talking about, the Kings have replaced the asinine ‘dance for your dinner’ with a contest where two fans are given a PA mic in order to do their best impression of Bob Miller calling an exciting Kings play. Tonight, the second contestant said “Johnson passes to Williams, to Brown, he scoooores Dallas sucks balls!” Bravo good sir, and thank you Kings for introducing us to one meaningless commercial time killer that wasn’t a fucking disgrace. Danny Zollars got that one right, though I fear that the fact that fans will use the privilege of being handed a microphone to say rude things about the opposing team more often than not will lead to this activity’s early demise. Please, Kings, let it be, even when someone inevitably says such awfully sinful words like ‘fuck’ or ‘shit’. It will happen.

So, who thinks that Sheriff Shanahan suspends Richardson for that boarding call? I still have to watch another replay before I decide, but live… That was pretty frigging bad. I won’t be surprised. It looked ugly. But fuck whoever it was he dumped. He probably had it coming just as much as that puke Steve Ott had coming the fist that Mike Richards never got to land.

Is it weird that as giddy as I am over the win that it is just a teeny bit tainted by Kopi failing to extend his point streak? Am I the only one who let out a frustrated squeal of ungrateful lamentation when that backhander he threw from the blue line sailed over the Stars’ empty net?

That was a good, solid hockey game folks. The only thing I have left to say, is that I’m over this one and ready for a batch of red revenge against the Devils. Future King or not, Parise and his team can treat my balls the same way that overly offended bozo in front of me clearly wanted to and lick them clean.

Too crass? I’m drunk, why aren’t you? Reading this on Sunday morning with your coffee? What do want from me, I was drunk.

GO KINGS GO!



Categories: L.A. Kings News

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28 replies

  1. For anyone who ever questions if we are a lighthearted bunch and don’t take ourselves too seriously, I give you Exhibit A, above. Lol.

  2. Great game by the boys and Congrats to quick

  3. actually in the game against the blues during the ‘bring it like bob’ segment one of the guys said “shit yeah” mid-call…i was surprised the segment made a return for game 2. GKG

  4. Great Game, Great Article. GO KINGS GO!!!!

  5. I was just watching on TV, but I got the sense this was an EXTREMELY loud game. Awesome.

  6. I like that Benn was basically MIA this game. He is typically schooling Dewey by dekeing him out of his jock strap and sniping Quick for a goal! Have to say that I HOPE Dewey is NEVER on the ice when Benn is in the future! I will miss Slava, and I want Penner to keep slumbering around the ice acting like a rabid bear!

  7. Fella’s, tell me your junk didn’t flutter just a little when Bob Miller said “no one in team history has done this.”? Thank you Kings. Thank you new modern offense mentality, thank you Kevin Westgarth for a whole lotta hustle and whole lotta heart, thank you Dustin Penner even. I’m expecting it to reign frogs in about forty minutes. At this rate, if he comes back I might even be thanking Scott “isn’t just a Garnish anymore” Parsley for an outstanding performance. God that’s a world I want to live in.

  8. … The Kings, and Quick more than anyone, are living a charmed life right now. I hope it continues.

    What other Kings’ records does Quick hold, besides shootout wins? Most starts in a season?

    • Youngest and least number of games played by a Kings goalie to reach 100 wins.

      Something like 185 games. Vachon and Hrudy were in the 240 game range before picking up their 100th win.

      • Youngest and least number of games played by a Kings goalie to reach 100 wins.

        … Ohhh, the asterisk record. Well, he does have 79 actual wins in 186 games.

        Hrudey got to win number 79 in his 164th game. Surprisingly, Vachon didn’t get to win number 79 until his 194th game.

        On Kings Talk Nick said that he has most starts in a season, most wins in a season and best season save percentage.

        … The most actual wins in a season in Kings’ history is still 35, by Mario Lessard in 80-81, followed by Vachon’s 33 in 76-77, and then Felix Potvin’s 31 in 01-02.

        Quick’s highest actual win total is 29, which has him at fourth – tied with Vachon in 77-78. So he’s top five.

        As for save percentage, Vachon’s .926 in 74-75 ranks number one. Quick’s second, at .918 last season. Believe it or not, Stephane Fiset’s .915 mark in 98-99 is third.

        • … Whoops, Quick was at 31 actual wins in 09-10. So, he’s tied with Potvin for third in franchise history.

        • A) I’m just repeating what Nick Nickson said.

          B) go bother Roger Maris with your asterisk. Either Quick holds the record, or you have to have two separate sets of records,in which case Quick still holds one set.

          If someone breaks Gretzky’s goal record one day are we going to put an asterisk on it because stick are made of different materials now? Games change, it happens in all sports, so you can’t be too serious with this asterisk crap.

          You can’t even argue that his shootouts wins would have been ties, because before the shootout was implemented, teams played the overtime period dramatically differently than they do now (in both directions, more conservative and more aggressive). How about when they changed it from 5-on-5 to 4-on-4, do we use that as another place to deny comparisons of records?

          You know, they didn’t even Used to have overtime before.

          When it comes to records dude you have to take the approach that while things change over the years, they change for everyone in the league and players adjust accordingly, which does not discredit past, nor current or future records. They are all valid and no one cares enough to have all these ‘buts’. The official record books Will say Quick holds the most wins by a Kings goalie until someone gets 40 wins on this team. Simple as that, hem and haw all you want, that’s a FACT. Those things you hold so dear.

          • … No one is discrediting Quick, nor what he’s done in the two and a half years he’s been the goalie.

            I’m trying to get everyone on as level a playing field as I can with the raw numbers. That’s all I’m doing. I’m not trying to make assumptions. I’m not interested in the statistics themselves; I’m interested in what they mean.

            You seem to be very wrapped up in what the record book will say. That’s fine. But what conclusions are you making? That Quick is the number one or two goalie in this team’s history after less than three full seasons of duty? If so, great. I don’t agree. To say Quick is a 39-win goalie is an insult to the goalies before him.

            Mario Lessard went to an NHL All-Star Game. When he won 35, that meant something. That figure led the league. Rogie Vachon went to three All-Star games. When he won 33, it was third in the NHL.

            Jonathan Quick won’t ever see an All-Star Game without a ticket. When he won “39 games”, it wasn’t even top five in the NHL, despite his starting almost every game. His win total meant exactly dick. So if something that means exactly dick is a big deal to you, have fun with it. I’m trying to emphasize what’s worthy of emphasis. Not silly shit that’s artificially inflated by gimmicks. I really could give a shit what the record book says. I care about who is elite, who is worthy of the title – and who isn’t.

          • You start off by saying that no one is discrediting Quick… And then go on to discredit Quick. Saying his achievements mean exactly dick is discrediting him. With those two things bookending your post, I’m not that interested in talking about what is in between. You may think that applauding Quick’s record is an insult to Lessard and Vachon, but i don’t agree. Quick’s new achievements don’t discredit the old achievements. You think i am hung up on what the record books say, but your entire post illustrates that you do as well. If you don’t care about the record book, then there is nothing to insult the memory of goalies of Kings’ past.

            Also, I am willing to wager you are wrong about Quick ever being an all star goalie. The fact that you are willing to say that when the guy is in the larval stage of his career is a clear discredit to the man and his talents.

            You are a conundrum wrapped in an enigma coated with a contradiction.

          • You start off by saying that no one is discrediting Quick… And then go on to discredit Quick. Saying his achievements mean exactly dick is discrediting him.

            … Not discrediting Quick, discrediting the manufactured significance of his results. I don’t choose to tie any more significance to them than what they warrant. Quick needed to start almost every game to amass the nineteenth-highest win total since the lockout – in other words, it means dick when placed in its proper historical context.

            That’s not shorting Quick; it’s telling it like it is. He’s a middle of the road NHL goaltender … anywhere from twelfth to sixteenth in the league depending on which categories are weighted and which are not. Just because the Kings’ goaltending history has been mostly pathetic doesn’t make Quick great. We’re not “grading on a curve” here.

            With those two things bookending your post, I’m not that interested in talking about what is in between.

            … Then why read? Why respond? Just keep covering your ears and eyes and screaming “LALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU”. Your choice, as always.

            You may think that applauding Quick’s record is an insult to Lessard and Vachon, but i don’t agree. Quick’s new achievements don’t discredit the old achievements.

            … You are right. I should clarify that. It’s an insult to what they did. Seeing them overtaken in the record books because of gimmickry is insulting. If you don’t agree, bully for you.

            You think i am hung up on what the record books say, but your entire post illustrates that you do as well. If you don’t care about the record book, then there is nothing to insult the memory of goalies of Kings’ past.

            … I care about placing each goalie on as level a playing field as I can, as I said in my last post.

            Also, I am willing to wager you are wrong about Quick ever being an all star goalie. The fact that you are willing to say that when the guy is in the larval stage of his career is a clear discredit to the man and his talents.

            … LOL. I’m being realistic. I can’t see Quick as an All-Star. We can wager something, sure. I have a sixties-model gold Kings wool jersey – no customization. Worth a few bucks, I’m sure. I’m willing to put it on the table.

            You are a conundrum wrapped in an enigma coated with a contradiction.

            … I enjoy talking hockey with you too, Mr. Surly.

        • Furthermore, had you put Vachon in today’s league, you don’t know that he could have upheld his own record even with the shootout. The shootout is it’s own skill as well, and with teams playing to ties more in the modern era and trying to get to the shootout, it’s just as logical to say that Vachon would have LESS “actual” wins today than he achieved playing back then. So again, you just takes things for face value Or we can poke holes in EVERYTHING.

          • Vachon was the greatest goalie I ever saw. I don’t care how bad his save percentage was.

            He was not only great but looked great. During a season game at Nassau Stadium he was the only King on the ice. It wound up a scoreless tie — solely because of Vachon, whom the Islander fans gave a standing ovation for his performance.

            Of course, it’s a different game now. And as far as I’m concerned it’s better than ever.

            But one fact may be useful in assessing how well he’d play in the era of shoot-out hockey: To my knowledge no one ever scored a penalty shot against him, though a number were taken.

          • I wasn’t commenting on how I think Vachon would do in the shootouts, just that’s its a big x factor if we are taking about parsing the meaning and particulars of records. And while I wasn’t alive to see vachon play, I’ve watched video and grew up with a dad who loved Rogie more than any other player, So he has a world of respect from me and I will consider him the greatest kings goalie until Quick either wins us a cup or has as long and storied a career.

          • Check out Vachon’s penalty-shot numbers.

    • On Kings Talk Nick said that he has most starts in a season, most wins in a season and best season save percentage.

  9. Drunk Blogging – Fun, isn’t it?

  10. That was a great game last night. Cowboy hats off to the Stars for hanging in like that after the effort against the Ducks the night before.

    I don’t know why is it that I hate everything about Texas except the Last Picture Show but that only think that could have made me happier last night would have been 7-0 behind a Westgarth hat trick.

  11. John Jackson eh? Shouldntve bought you that large Stella surly… Or should we call you Slurly Jacob now?

  12. This may be preposterous, but I was thinking for the NJ game, obviously booing the whole team, Kovy louder, but then cheering Parise on. Who knows, maybe that bit of cheering would be the catalyst to join the Kings. Crazy, yes. Stupid, probably yes.

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