Dustin Penner. Please bring your heart as I find little evidence you have one.

Drew Doughty. Bring your 8 year contract, the original and all existing copies. I have a few modifications.

Scott Parse. I just want to make sure there are not two of you, one that Dean Lombardi claims to be the most skilled player on the team and one that walks around with a Coors Light in his hand and doesn’t do much else.

Dustin Brown. I will have a few MMA players waiting to remind you what being physical is defined as…

Justin Williams. I just want to confirm which one of us is better looking in person…and then talk about your defensive acumen.

Jarret Stoll. To find out what coach Murray has told you about your role this season. I can’t figure it out. I will keep it short. We’ll mostly talk about chicks.

Kyle Clifford. To see if you will punch me before you leave just so I can confirm to Surly you are still the same Kyle Clifford.

Mike Richards. We’ll talk over a few drinks.

Wayne Simmonds…shit…

Trevor Lewis. To give you a new set of hands.

Jonathan Quick. To tell you everything is going to be ok. You won’t play 75 games this season. I promise.