The Kings Won, My Phone Is Shattered, Beer Is Good & Happy Birthday

Where to begin?

Matt Greene getting a goal?  We know this was not a night for commonalities.

Heatley is a useless schmuck who got bitched by Clifford?  All the goals aside, my favorite moment of the night.

The Kings scored a bunch of goals!  It helps when the Wild play as well as a meth addict raises small children.

It was Terry Murray’s 1000th game. In honor of this occasion, the Kings decided to ignore the mantra of shooting from the point and the perimeter and instead thought better to focus on working the blue paint. As a result of blue paint play, I finally don’t have blue balls, even if Josh Harding is blue in the face after that uncharacteristic performance.

I almost didn’t attend this game. Part of me wanted to stay home and watch the Manny Pacquiao fight. After all, before tonight, I had been to 4 games… and seen 3 Kings goal. I was due. I must credit Bobby for convincing me to come. He said this would be an epic game. He also said I had to credit him in the post game for convincing me to come. No one ever accused him of being humble.

Back to the game. Did the Kings slack off in the third period or did the Wild decide it would behoove them to play like a real NHL team?  Let’s say it was a fair bit of both.

I want to harp on something for a second; the 5 minute major the Kings drew at the end of the first period. I don’t think that should have been a major. I’m not sure it was a penalty at all. Ok fine, whatever his face was that took the penalty (I put beer in the title for a reason) did take a line directly towards the boards. That’s not very gentlemanly.  However, though as a Kings fan I love having all the powerplay time, as an NHL fan, I dislike fairly clean hits being penalized so viciously.

Random aside, why was there some squish faced Nimrod in my section wearing a Joe Thornton jersey?

I forgot what I was talking about. Maybe it’s the broken gorilla glass on my shattered phone. Maybe it’s being thrilled by seeing my first dominant victory of the season. Maybe it’s just drinking a lot with my buddy, Nick in 318, whose birthday it is for another hour and change. The reasons matter not, a stay of execution is granted for Terry Murray on principle, but the wiretaps in his home will stay hot.

Another aside, to those of you watching at home, you missed the gaggle of Twilight vermin camped in LA Live,  forcing us Kings’ fans to meander through an all-to-thin maze in order to side step your pre-pubescent Big-5 bought lairs.  I hope teak vampires find you. Not to suck your blood or curse you with eternal life, but rather to succor you in to understanding good literature.

I apologize for what I am sure is a slew of auto-correct and beer related errors. (update: Scribe here. I swooped in and fixed them…most of them. I have no idea what a “teak vampire” is but it sounded cool. The sentence before that is also a little…off…but drunk Surly is a fun Surly)

Who has a hankering for roast duck?  I know Bobby does.

Go Kings Go!



Categories: L.A. Kings News

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24 replies

  1. Drove me nuts that as soon as they sat back and tried to play boring hockey, they let in 2 goals. Playing defensively is not what got you the 5 goal lead, and trying to sit back and wait for mistakes just let a crappy offensive team score on you. Still waiting for that merciless attitude where the Kings don’t care about the score, they just want to score.

  2. Dude I broke my iPhone 4 front glass yesterday too sux. I think they are using more brittle glass on these. Gorilla glass my ass more like koala glass. I had dropped my 3 and the original one several times straight down on the glass and they never broke. Usually you’d have to hit them on an angle to break the glass. Face down drop they survived. This one shattered easily.
    There’s a guy who has good reviews on yelp
    Who will replace glass for @$100 for the 4.
    $40 for the 3. Don’t know if you even have an iPhone (you didn’t say) but here’s the site
    Iphonelossngeles.net

    • No I broke an original Droid. Plan on going in tomorrow for an iPhone 4s.

      • NOooooooooo!

        Get yourself one of the newr high end, multi-core Androids. Do you really want Siri to watch (and be disappointed) when you abuse yourself to streaming videos? She’s a judgmental bitch.

        • Haha. I will miss my Nes and snes roms but I’m such an ipad addict I may as well conform to the 1980s view of nonconformist which is now conformist.

          Siri may be a bitch, but she’ll get treated accordingly. I’ll abuse her as is my specialty.

          • The 4s is dual core and crazy fast. The Siri app is killer. My brother asked it where to get a bj and it displayed several escort services. Good girl Siri

          • Im almost positive you can get emulators for iOS. The only problem is right now you can only do a tethered jailbreak in iOS 5, meaning you have to plug it in EVERY time you restart it or it runs out of batteries. When they solve this issue, jailbreak your phone, and you will be able to install whatever you want, including NES and SNES emulators.

  3. Great game tonight! I was a little perturbed by the db’s who sat in front of me and were upset every time I yelled “go Kings!”. Ok, so I yelled it when it was more quiet, but screw them! And then they had to look at me disappointingly and move down a seat. LOL! whatever. I’m not going to be upset that I yell for my team. Besides, they didn’t have a jersey on – probably had their tent set up across the street.

    Obviously had too many beers too. :-)

    • We’ve got some real botoxed faced douches at games. I went all in and got some killer seats A few rows from glass 2010 playoffs vs casucks. I was yelling the whole time and people were turning around looking at me like I was nuts. It’s a hockey game for fucks sake and the playoffs. We are the 7th man

      • It’s always seemed silly to me when fans give you evil looks for rooting for your team. It’s not like you’re screaming that the opposing team should get naked and run backwards through a cornfield, or that their mothers have serviced the entire Kings team and thoroughly enjoyed it.

        Last time I went to a game here in Denver, I had a (swear to god) 10 year old kid dogging me the WHOLE time for cheering for the Kings. What am I supposed to yell back at a 10 year old?

        • Shut up or I will break up your mom and dad…

        • A 10 year old is with parents. Nothing wrong with telling a parent that their kid is disturbed and is being raised incorrectly.

          However I have had kids like that give me fat kid staring at zack galafinakis in the hangover looks. Usually when it’s a youngin, I give them very disturbing smiles or make faces.

    • There is always at least one person who gives me the evil eye throughout every game. I relish it. At Vancouver game, it was the girlfriend of Mr. Faggot McPussy Shoes. He had his feet up on the glass all game, displaying his girl shoes he wore, while she responded with dirty looks to myself and others yelling at him to put his sissy feet down. Every time I opened my mouth she turned and glared. Finally I had to tell. Her that it was not only weird to keep looking at me, but also rude to her boyfriend, as gay as he may be, to keep eye fucking me. “I understand I’m better looking than your boyfriend, but please, just turn around like a good girl”.

  4. Did Mike Richards fire off another “fuck you Terry Murray” on his breakaway? I think it was in the second but it could have been the third.

  5. I’ll have to mosey on over to 315 again if we need to have a dominant period eh? 3 goals in the 2nd after i left my beloved 318 ‘Bob Millers Back Pocket’ seat to sit with ya

    Thanks for the shout out and the whiskey McSurly… GKGmfers! lets leave the ice after wednesday with a victory and our spandex wearing ice girls scraping feather laden bloody sacks of quack entrails off the ice!

  6. Christ, I needed this!

    I’m like da resta youse. When the Kings lose I can’t stand to hear about it. When they win I can’t get enough.

    So I’ve been outa touch this past coupla weeks.

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