Kings-Ducks Open Game Thread

It’s the first bout of the Freeway Fuck-Off. The SoCal City v. Suburb Shit Storm hits.

The Russian Invasion lands for the Kings. The gaggle of gimps limps in for the Ducks.

The Kings may struggle to score, but the Ducks are struggling just to keep their team GAA lower than a full goal over their Goals For Per Game. Someone told me today that the betting odds had the over/under for goals in the game tonight at 5. He then told me that the Kings were favorites by 1.5 goals. I laughed, since these two statements aren’t that compatible… a 1.5 goal advantage leaves the Ducks scoring .5 goals.

All self/team-pity mocking aside, we’re going to steamroll these schmucks. It turns out that doing nothing in the offseason except crossing your fingers that the pock-marked Perry will have another 50 goal year was not an intelligent way to prepare for the season.

I’m expecting a ton of energy in the line-up. Voynov and Loktionov should add that burst off adrenaline we’ve lacked in several games this season. If serendipitous chemistry hits between Loki and Richards, watch out. I also have a sneaking suspicion that Williams shakes off his funk tonight. I will be looking for Clifford to continue to raise the bar on his vicious play. He’s been getting increasingly meaner the last few games and I just hope that he, and Moreau can stay out of the box. Still, I won’t be the least bit surprised if half this game is spent on special teams. The story of the game for Kings, however, will probably be the new defensive pairings, for better or for worse. Probably a mixture of the two.

And now for motivational material.

This will never get old.

These dogs are well trained.

This kid has the right idea.

If you aren’t faint of heart (read: afraid to watch a real animal die), click here.

Alright, that’s it. You guys take over from here.

GO KINGS GO!

Comments

  1. Nickel says:

    I normally hate when games are really one sided, but I’d be ok with the Kings just scoring 10 or 15 times and humiliating all those Anaheim bastards into oblivion.

  2. Duck the Fucks!

  3. CV says:

    Hard hitting, fast paced game I hope. Lots of energy.
    Yeah, think Williams and Kopi will have great games today. I’ll say Kings beat the pond scum 5 to 3.

    Go Kings Baby!!!!!!

  4. Did anyone catch that article by Elliot Teaford’s fatass in the Pasadena Star News this morning? My favorite part was “Anze Kopitar scores plenty of goals, but there’s nothing fancy about his game”.

    Well, yea, there is, but you’d have to watch a game to know that. And even if there weren’t anything fancy about his game, wouldn’t that be just picking pepper out of fly shit? Give me a break.

  5. NeenerNeener says:

    Oh please kick their dumb asses halfway to anywhere!!!

    and I can’t look at the motivational items because my work BLOCKS them!!!
    - really???

    GO KINGS GO!!!

    • NeenerNeener says:

      oops forgot to add I believe reading Surly & Scribe is work related….depends on how you look at it!

      • Mikefromearth says:

        It depends where you work, but you can always install tor, then you’ll be saying neenerneener to the people who tried to block you! Then again you may be fired…

  6. J.T. Dutch says:

    a 1.5 goal advantage leaves the Ducks scoring .5 goals.

    … I hope the Kings win the game, 0 to -1.

  7. Lilyadd says:

    Loktionov, Voynov. Just excited to see them in their kings garb.

  8. CV says:

    I’m watching New Jersey v. Buffalo. Kovalchuk managed to score his 4th, yes his 4th goal of the season.

    Brodeur is still really good, wow….

  9. No way the Kings should allow three goals tonight. Quick in net, fleet footed defensemen stretching out the limping Yucks, Jonas flailing in net. I’m looking for a 4 – 1 stomping, a cheap shot by some nameless tool and a furious Clifford earning himself a two game suspension for making a Mcnugget out of said tool.

    For that, Thursday night they’ll be switching out the glass for chain link fence in Anaheim – hockey octagon.

    • J.T. Dutch says:

      a furious Clifford earning himself a two game suspension

      … yes, pointless suspensions of players will certainly help the team get where they need to be

  10. Lilyadd says:

    Is anyone else annoyed by the Jesus supremisists? I am. Go home with that. This is a hockey game. Anything else is stupid.

  11. J.T. Dutch says:

    … What the fuck is Hunter doing on the PP? Christ.

    • Hat trick says:

      According to TM he’s got that “heavy shot” that is oh so effective. I don’t see them practice everyday and I’ve yet to really notice one in a game but I’m sure it’s going to be the shot heard round the world coming up here real soon. Ride that spicy chicken!!!

  12. Dominick says:

    Brown with a pass to himself off the boards then skating to it behind the player.

  13. BobKnob says:

    stoll can’t hit the net. who was that dummy saying otherwise? lolololol

  14. J.T. Dutch says:

    … Nifty poke out by Quick right there.

  15. Dominick says:

    I was going to say! How the f**k did JJ take a penalty? DD was the 1 tied up with the Ducks player.

  16. J.T. Dutch says:

    … Despite the huge shot disparity, I have the five on five scoring chances very close – at 4-3, Kings.

    - First one for the Kings was Kopitar from the slot in the first shift
    - Second for the Kings was the shot from Lewis (I believe) with Moreau in front
    - Third one was Gagne’s pass from the RW corner to Williams in front
    - Fourth was Kopitar’s great shot from back behind the left circle off Drew’s feed

    - First Ducks chance was the shot by Fowler tipped by Ryan in the slot
    - Second, Perry in the slot taking a shot that just missed the net later that shift
    - Third one for the Ducks was the two on one with Selanne getting the pass

  17. CV says:

    Great shot by Stoll, almost scored. There are certain pendejos who say he can’t hit China. I will continue to torment these pendejos.

  18. J.T. Dutch says:

    … Brown’s kicking ass tonight. Love it.

  19. J.T. Dutch says:

    … I agree with Fox 100%. Kings are gonna have to get an ugly one here.

  20. BobKnob says:

    Oh look Stoll hit the net. Kinda hard to miss when you’re 5 ft away though.

  21. Dominick says:

    Kings are skating tonight. Drawing some penalties on the Ducks.

  22. J.T. Dutch says:

    … Wow, that was a really weak call to put Anaheim down 5 on 3. But hey I’ll take it.

  23. J.T. Dutch says:

    … Richards! There we go.

  24. Dominick says:

    Yayyy!

  25. BobKnob says:

    fking Stoll

  26. J.T. Dutch says:

    … That penalty was taken as a direct result of Quick mishandling the puck behind his net. The Kings couldn’t break out properly, and Kopitar was forced to hold to prevent the Ducks getting possession in the offensive zone.

  27. Dominick says:

    Kings are skating tonight.

  28. BobKnob says:

    Well, at least Stoll didn’t shoot that last point shot wide. He must be reading your blog Bobby.

  29. J.T. Dutch says:

    … OK, I have the Ducks having the lead in five-on-five scoring chances in the second, 4-3. Here’s how I have them:

    - Ryan from the LW circle when Richards/Brown miscommunicated
    - Andrew Gordon right in front on a floating puck off a faceoff
    - Sbisa’s shot from the top of the LW circle about 11 minutes in
    - McMillen from the RW circle just after the Ducks’ PP expired

    - Stoll from the RW dot about five and a half minutes in
    - Brown/Loktionov two on one that Brown missed
    - Kopitar off to the right of the crease after the Gagne steal

    Overall, scoring chances five-on-five are tied 7-7 for the game, despite the Kings outshooting Anaheim 19-10 in 5-on-5 situations.

  30. Hat trick says:

    Ha ha ha ha…Brownie Brownie Brownie…Holy shit that was bad. No shit but I coulda put that in the net. Fox was totally covering for him. Right line to the net? Bullshit it’s a fucking tap in.

  31. CV says:

    Okay. I’m back ready for the third.

  32. J.T. Dutch says:

    … They gotta take another look at this one.

  33. J.T. Dutch says:

    … No way. His stick didn’t touch the puck. That’s gotta get washed out.

  34. Dominick says:

    Ha ha ha! No goal!

  35. J.T. Dutch says:

    … LOL. Quick is one lucky mofo. That net was wide open for Jacques and he missed it.

  36. BobKnob says:

    I feel like we sit back too soon.

  37. BobKnob says:

    Good stick work by Loko

  38. J.T. Dutch says:

    … Crowd’s booing this, but it’s a good call. It was a trip.

  39. BobKnob says:

    gross

  40. CV says:

    Fuck man, this game should be over.

  41. J.T. Dutch says:

    … I’ve got three chances for each side while 5-on-5 in the third period.

    - MacMillan in front off the carom off the backboards
    - Getzlaf from the LW circle on the shift after the goal wash-out
    - Jacques from the slot off a three on two break

    - Mitchell from the left side of the slot off Brown’s feed
    - Hunter from the inside of the right circle after circling behind the net
    - Clifford shot off the draw from the left circle

    Overall, 10-10 on scoring chances while 5-on-5 tonight. Honestly I have no idea who’s tabulating shots on goal for the Kings tonight, but I think whoever it is is in love with Mike Richards.

  42. J.T. Dutch says:

    … Nice save by Hiller on Kopitar. Kings looking great in the OT.

  43. BobKnob says:

    only a couple more minutes until we get real hockey

  44. J.T. Dutch says:

    … Oh Jackie, that was the game winner right there. Shit.

  45. J.T. Dutch says:

    … Welp, g’night fellas. Hope the Kings win the coin toss.

  46. BobKnob says:

    Why is Richards in again?

  47. BobKnob says:

    JMFS!

  48. BobKnob says:

    Now that’s real hockey there.

  49. Hat trick says:

    Anyone notice the Lokti and Richards position switch for about 3 shifts? Why Brown doesn’t pass to Loktionov is beyond me.

  50. roxo says:

    I was about to ask why I don’t see zad or DIEHARDthekingsfan(or Diehardthekingsfan jr) on Hfboards(GDT) anymore. You guys moved to lakings on game days now? Miss you guys

  51. Garcia says:

    Hey Surly u see the fight that happened in the mid first lol

    • Surly Jacob says:

      I did. Assumed it was with a duck fan at first. Really stupid. Hopefully I don’t sound too racist when I say dumb drunk Mexican cocksucker. The guy who inadvertently instigated it is a season ticket holder I see every game. Apparently he just told the guy to sit down so he could see and the drunk dumb shit flipped out.

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