It’s the first bout of the Freeway Fuck-Off. The SoCal City v. Suburb Shit Storm hits.

The Russian Invasion lands for the Kings. The gaggle of gimps limps in for the Ducks.

The Kings may struggle to score, but the Ducks are struggling just to keep their team GAA lower than a full goal over their Goals For Per Game. Someone told me today that the betting odds had the over/under for goals in the game tonight at 5. He then told me that the Kings were favorites by 1.5 goals. I laughed, since these two statements aren’t that compatible… a 1.5 goal advantage leaves the Ducks scoring .5 goals.

All self/team-pity mocking aside, we’re going to steamroll these schmucks. It turns out that doing nothing in the offseason except crossing your fingers that the pock-marked Perry will have another 50 goal year was not an intelligent way to prepare for the season.

I’m expecting a ton of energy in the line-up. Voynov and Loktionov should add that burst off adrenaline we’ve lacked in several games this season. If serendipitous chemistry hits between Loki and Richards, watch out. I also have a sneaking suspicion that Williams shakes off his funk tonight. I will be looking for Clifford to continue to raise the bar on his vicious play. He’s been getting increasingly meaner the last few games and I just hope that he, and Moreau can stay out of the box. Still, I won’t be the least bit surprised if half this game is spent on special teams. The story of the game for Kings, however, will probably be the new defensive pairings, for better or for worse. Probably a mixture of the two.

And now for motivational material.

This will never get old.

These dogs are well trained.

This kid has the right idea.

If you aren’t faint of heart (read: afraid to watch a real animal die), click here.

Alright, that’s it. You guys take over from here.