Sometimes your offense overpowers a team, beats them into submission.

Other times your defense suffocates and sterilizes, strangling what mojo the opposition has when they step on the ice.

And then there are those games when a goalie simply refuses to lose.

To explain what needs not be explained, Jonathan ‘Robin Hood’ Quick robbed the San Jose Sharks of their offensive riches and gave back to the offensively poor, his own Kings, the loot of a win. The Kings scored their quota of goals, 2, a lucky lob at the loser Niemi by He Who Shall Not Yet Be Forgiven, Moreau, and an absolute beauty by He-Man Richards off a perfect behind the net feed from Gagne. Meanwhile, Quick far exceeded his quota of brilliant saves.

Oh sure, the Kings generated a shift or three of quality offense, a temporarily awesome sight for these sore eyes. The defense had 1.5 great penalty kills. But this win was as all Quick as they come. The shot total was close, but without looking at the stats, I’ll venture to guess the scoring chances were not. While the Kings threw shot mentality volleys at Niemi, the Sharks hammered Quick with scoring mentality blow after blow. The last 5 minutes of the second period, in which San Jose had two powerplays, featured some of the most spectacular hockey I’ve seen Quick play.

A moment now to wonder how long the war room in Toronto will hold a grudge against Dean Lombardi’s Kings. If those replay angles conclusively prove Voynov kicked the puck without Brown touching it with his stick before the puck went in, enough to overturn an on-ice call of a good goal, then I get to call my observation that teal is a girl’s color conclusive proof that all Shark fans are hermaphrodites. I think that’s fair.

The Kings really needed this win. I’m still perturbed that we would go into such a defensive shell at the drop of the third period’s puck, but credit the Sharks for pressing the play. Do not credit the Sharks for scratching Handzus. Assholes. We won’t worry about Doughty’s continued perplexing play for this one night, or wonder why Loktionov has had three ineffective games in a row and whether there is a meteor’s chance in Murray’s Cretaceous hell that he stays when Penner is activated. We’ll cut Williams just a little bit of slack, the dude clearly needs it.

We will be happy that Clifford played his most physically intimating game in too long. Laugh at Clowe for displaying his special brand of douchy vaginatry. Applaud Dustin Brown’s bullish game and his signature move working for once, but enough about quotas being hit.

We bow to the magnificence that is Jonathan Quick.

Some games are determined by the talent of the many.

This game was decided by the will power of one.

GO KINGS GO!

Update: It seems we are forced to harp on the disallowed goal once more, in light of Murray’s post game comments.

“That call should have, in my opinion, gone the other way. It’s called a goal, on the ice, by the official, and the explanation then, to me, is that it was inconclusive on the video replay judge, as to whether it was kicked or a stick, so there’s no goal. But, actually, it is a goal by that explanation, because it has to be very conclusive that it is kicked. So, it should have been a goal.”

My apologies, we all must have missed when the NHL changed the rulebook to allow for inconclusive evidence overturning a call on the ice. For the referee to admit that the video replay judge called it inconclusive, can only mean so many things, none of them good. The best is that Murray forgot to replace his hearing-aid batteries and misunderstood what the ref told him. The worst is that we are not simply pulling our own Montreal, crying conspiracy, and that Toronto really does have a vendetta against the Kings. Taking Murray’s comment at its word, this can officially go down as the NHL undisputedly fucking up. It is inconsequential whether the call factored into the outcome, which it didn’t, the NHL shouldn’t be violating its own rules, not by the common human error of refereeing, but by specifically making decisions contradictory to those rules. Who is going to fine the war room in Toronto? Can Brendan Shanahan hire his own enforcer, give Darren McCarty something to do, and make a house call to whatever dipshit decided that inconclusive proof now gets to overturn calls? Maybe penance for suspension worthy headshots can be paid by pummeling deserving video jockeys. Sadly, the best we can probably hope for now is another $50,000 comment by Lombardi. Go on Deano, you know you can’t resist. Don’t fight the urge.