We suck.

They suck.

Someone will come out sucking a little less this night.

Of the last 2 Kings games I have only seen the third period of the one against Dallas. I’ve been busy. Don’t judge me, save it for someone who deserves it, like people who are snobs about the foam in their lattes. My point is that just like I don’t need to actually speak to the guy in front of me at Coffee Bean to know that his mother coddled him as a child, I also don’t need to have watched the last two games to know that the Kings carry a weight on their shoulders heavier than the average citizen of Columbus.

Want to hear something depressing? Of course you do. During the current 5 game losing streak, the Kings have been out scored 14-6. That means that they have been outscored by two more goals than they have scored.

On the positive side, the Columbus Blue Jackets have given up 19 goals in their last 5 games. Granted, they won two of those games (both in OT), and scored 12 of their own goals, but if there is a team that can’t play defense worth a shit, it’s Columbus. At 26th in the league, the Jackets give up 3.23 goals per game. That’s over a full goal more than the Kings score on average. Considering Columbus only scores .2 more goals per game than we do, the odds are finally in the Kings’ favor, even if recent history is not.

As far as the lineup is concerned, interim bench boss Stevens has the wherewithal to pull Hunter out of the lineup while also giving Slava Voynov the first benching of his budding NHL career, replacing the young Russian with Alec Martinez. Trevor Lewis will skate on the third line with Richardson and Loktionov.

Like the last two games, I won’t be able to watch this one tonight. A fancy party calls out to me and I can’t deny the crowd my dapper self all suited up. So this is your thread, not mine, keep out the foam snobs and keep your own chins up… We’re bound to win a game eventually.

GO KINGS GO!