Kings Get The Gift Of Labarbera And Beat Coyotes 4-3

A non sequitur.

I brought my fiancé to the game. She doesn’t come to many, this being her first of the season. She has to do her girly thing during the second intermission and it takes a girly amount of time, meaning she misses Mitchell’s and Brown’s goals in the third. She finally arrives and starts to walk up the isle of section 315… While play is in progress. What is a guy to do? Being a man of principle, there is only one thing to do. I yell. “You can’t walk up here during play!”. Meanwhile she’s shoving her way past disgruntled Kings fans. Shame on my household, on my good Surly name. Mrs. Surly, reinforcing her man’s namesake. As she sits down, that constant thorn in our side Daymond Langkow scores.

So you can blame one goal against on Mrs. Surly.

The other two, you can blame on Quick, or if you are feeling more venomous, as I texted to Scribe, “Raffi Cocksuck fuckface asslick dickhole bitchtaint Torres.”. Now that the requisite cursing and griping is out of the way, we can finally discuss the game.

Did you watch the front of net presence like I asked? It was there the first period, as was some awesome team speed by the Kings. The second and much of the third were a story called “Dave Tippett Team’s Ferocious Forecheck” and our net presence, along with most of our forecheck tailed off. Once the Coyotes pressured the Kings into difficulty on the breakout, the sluggishness meandered its way into the Kings own forecheck. I saw the team revert to playing the perimeter game. This is where the gift of Labarbera was given.

That guy, as we all remember, is just so damn generous. So giving. He gives the glove side, the blocker side and oh, the fivehole. He brought enough fivehole for everyone to share, unlike some assholes with their gum. Dustin Brown’s game winning goal, a wrister from an angle to the goal line I measure to be about 20 degrees, brought back so memories I could have cried. But I didn’t cry, I applauded Jason all the way to his bench.

Let us not discount some fabulous effort by our team in our derision of former shamed Kings. I could mention a few, but will only mention one. Anze Kopitar. That was as dominant a game as Kopi has played this season. He took over shifts, particularly the one leading to Scuderi’s goal, in such fashion as to make all other centers in the league look average. Joe Thornton? Please, he wishes he had Anze’s good looks.

I asked that we score more than 2 goals and win in regulation. I also asked for the gnarly tea set I was given yesterday. I’ve learned I should ask for things more often. I think the most amusing aspect of tonight is that 3 of our goals came off shots by defenseman and neither Doughty nor Johnson took any of those 3 shots. I think the moral of that story is that Greene is a slacker.

Here’s another story. The LA Kings were off to a fine start. They were the prized pick of the pundits. They floundered. They fell. Their coach was canned. They got uglier and as a result, fiercer. They started winning games again. Out of the playoffs they climbed, back to a perch from where 15 other teams could be seen. Somewhere along the way Jarret Stoll scored a goal. Ok, now I’ve gone too far.

Am I crazy to want Bernier to play in Chicago?

Let us hope Gagne is OK, not that he has done much of anything lately. More importantly, David Courtney didn’t announce the second or third period, so let us send him our positive vibes as well. The same vibes that have made the Kings winners of 4 of their last 6 games, gainers of 9 of the last 12 possible points. We are due to beat the damn Blackhawks.

Go Kings Go.



Categories: L.A. Kings News

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21 replies

  1. Finally the curse of 2 goals has been broken! Thanks Labarbera…you sucked ass here and you still suck in Phoenix. Willie Mitchell with the sniper roofer…Are you kidding me??? What the hell is really going on! :D

    • You’re still just food drunk from Christmas dinner. That didn’t really happen. Scuds and Mitchell didn’t just score in the same game. Santa Claus isn’t real either…

      • I think I’m still a little wobbly from all those episodes of Twilight Zone for Thanksgiving because yeah those two in the same game…Rod Serling was in the press box. :D

  2. “’Raffi Cocksuck fuckface asslick dickhole bitchtaint Torres.’ Now that the requisite cursing is and griping is out of the way, we can finally discuss the game.”

    Nooo . . . I don’t think the requisite cursing is out of the way.

    Torres is a pea-dicked muthuh-fuckuh and a low-class tuchuss-nipping little shit. I watched his lame, nasty, back-biting play against Richardson. He should be rendered unconscious by repeated smearings of our un-wiped asses across his ugly face and left to drown in a hot pool of bubbling rat sperm.

  3. Finally it looked likethe Kings played with meaning! Could they finally beginning to realize they have talent? Are the learning how to use it? I think so. Let’s take this as a good sign and knock the guys too hard. Lol I just loved the game tonight! Have another 2 points awesome! :-)

  4. Raffi Torres has a cancer face the likes of which haven’t been seen since the days of Mats Sundin. Someone SHOULD wipe their ass on his face so he can get a little color. On a serious note ass boy I’m stoked to hear about our beloved Kings pick up the play. I’ve been so damn busy this year I haven’t made it to a single game yet, but that will change soon. I forsee us screaming obscenities at opposing players and fans, and telling people to shut the fuck up haha Anze is the man, well worth doing what I did to get my jersey signed (shut up Surly, don’t say a goddamn word!). LaBarbara was our Christmas present, his 5-hole resembles that of a pooter of a filthy Tijuana hooker at mid shift. Though I’m surprised that we traded one pussy bird faced coach for another, though the team seems to have picked it up since the switch. I think they need to make a sequel to “the kings speech” where someone teaches Darryl Sutter how to fucking speak in public….the guy sounds like he’s got palsy. Well, that’s all for now as I must get back to watching the statue of the virgin Mary spew blood out of her ass and onto peoples faces on south park, then the Jean Claude Van Damme reality show on TMC. Eat a shit-stuffed kanish

  5. I’m only gonna point this out once….. the Kings have won every single time my Duck partner and I, the Hound, have attended the game together. Granted, we don’t go to *that* many, but we are 5 for 5 this season, and that’s a better record than a lot of non-season ticket holders. We also predicted 4 Kings goals at the beginning of the game.
    that said…….
    ohhh Kopitar, it’s good to see a couple assists, but what happened to that goal scoring dynamo that we were all crying for last season when he got injured just before the playoffs?? (I shouldn’t be complaining…. we won tonight, there should only be celebrating, buuutttt……) Don’t let Richards take your title as the man we all look to for goals when the going gets tough!!
    and ohhh Captain, my wonderful Captain, what a wonderful guy. Such a lovely goal. That’s number 9 this season, if I remember correctly.
    and the Line of Mass Destruction (BigRedDog-Fraserator-Westy) just looks brutal. I don’t see the potential for all that many goals, but I do see the potential for a legacy of fear and violence being spread in their wake.

    also, Jason LolBarbera, thanks for the belated Christmas present!!! <3

  6. Santa Labarbera…don’t miss him…

  7. OK so far…the Kings take another necessary step on the patsey road to the top eight. Never thought I’d say it but thank god for LaBarbara. How does that manage to hang in the locker roomnafter games like that? No wonder he can’t stop eating.

    So maybe there will be a first round after all. The next three will give a hint if there might be a second. …Maybe Vancouver takes LaBarbara back and we see again this week!

  8. … Still makes me angry that Doughty didn’t finish off that drive up the middle because he cuffed the shot and double-hit it. Should have been at least a 5-3 win. And, of course, the Kings had to hit the left and right side posts on the same shift, because that’s the story of this team.

    • I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before, they hit both posts in consecutive shots. That was hilarious.

      • Don’t have a recording but I believe the prior sequence saw Williams’ nick the blocker and go off the post. Three in a row?

    • Doughty gave LaBarbara a little help by making a save on his own shot.

      • Does anybody want to acknowlege the fact that even though DD didn’t finish, he did get in there, and make it happen to begin with. Most defenseman wouldn’t of even attacked the net to begin with.

        • Yeah it was a nice play, bad bounce/no finish or not. I’m not concerned with this as much as how well we play. This game could have easily been a blowout and we haven’t seen that in the kings in a long time.

  9. Courtney puked….Miller and Fox said he had “flu like symptoms.” It took ‘em a while to clean up the scorers box. I’m sure he’ll be fine.

    I think it was just the surprise at seeing 2 1st period goals and being upset with the realization that this team could have been doing this all year long…..

  10. I agree with you. Play Bernier tonight. If we lose, “oh well, we played the backup”. If we win, then everyone gets hot at the same time. Let’s face it, on the road in Chicago, our chances aren’t great, so why not let Bernier get some ice time? Then Quick grounds the Jets, and the inexorable run to the #4 playoff spot continues.

  11. La Barbra, The gift that keeps on giving.

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