Clitsome Scores, Kings Don’t. A Ballad

I’m disgusted. That last powerplay should be considered Jamie Kompon’s exit interview. Sutter wouldn’t even let him talk to the players during the time out. But anyways, I’m too upset to think or write rationally, so instead here’s a song. Now you have to sing this in your head like Frank Sinatra doing a ballad.


When your girlfriend sighs in bed, Clitsome.
When she goes to sleep instead, Clitsome.

Don’t just blame the girl,
You’re ugly, you make her hurl,
So you can’t forget to Clitsome

When there’s no power to your play, Clitsome.
When she tells you ‘just go away’, Clitsome.

If you think she’s gonna leave,
Take a breath roll up a sleeve
Get yourself some Clitsome.

Theeeere’s no telling what you can do, when you suck some muff like the Blue Jackets do.
Accept that it’s all your fault. Kompon or Tampon, at some point take a vault.

Clitsome. Clitsome. Clitsome.

Soooo you’re having trouble scoring, your game is really boring.
I’ll tell you what I know, you have to outnumber them down low.
If you don’t you’re fucking dumb,
You clearly don’t know to

Clitsome. Clitsome. Clitsome.

She may be defenseless
It don’t matter if your senseless
So buck up and suck in that gut
Give up and love the lil’ peanut.

You’ll never get your beej,
If you don’t know how to please.
So for the last time,


(in a low rumbling voice)

That is some clit.


Moving right along. I guess we could talk about Penner being scratched. Was there ever a reason for that?

Of course this is the only game I didn’t drink any beer.

Categories: L.A. Kings News

Tags: , , ,

43 replies

  1. This is to the tune “Diarrhea” I suppose? That’s how I heard it anyway.

  2. Penner is reported to have an upper body injury. Nothelen tweeted it.

    “LW dustin Penner (upper-body injury) won’t play for Kings vs. CBJ”

  3. All teams have really shitty days, and many men miss don’t get them some Clitsome for years and years.

    Maybe they should try the backdoor route with plenty of Anal Ease to help lubricate their sticks.

    Now is the time for the Sutter tyraid to commence. Time for that 7 million dollar fuckoff to be sat down in a big murder of crows, so he shits himself for being so greedy.

    Time for Jack Johnson to be forced to shoot the puck after practice and hit the net 100 times before he can hit the shower.

    Time for Richards and Kopitar to be split up and center different lines.

    Time for sending Loktionov back to Manchester 4 points in 21 games, not exactly stellar stats.

    Time to put Lewis/Clifford/Richardson back as a group.

    Time for Sutter to make the Kings do Herbies after this game, until the next Laker or Clipper games.

    Time for Lombardi to make a few phone calls, not sure who he can even offer, that any team would possibly be interested in. You don’t even consider Bernier being dealt, and the only real profile prospects would be Weal/Toffoli and maybe Vey.

    The Kings have CAP issues, and can’t dump Penner or Stoll, which account for 8. something million.

    Time for me to break my new years resolution to stop drinking, I’ll do this next year!

  4. That last powerplay should be considered Jamie Kompon’s exit interview.

    … Firing Kompon is like putting a band-aid over a severed limb. But it will leave the fans fresh out of scapegoats, wouldn’t it? Unless Stevens would be labeled the next one. Maybe this site can run a poll, like they do all the time over at Tears from the Crying.

    I can see why it was so critical to start Quick today, by the way. Those Jackets sure do have a fearsome offense.

    It’s so sad to see a team bust their asses every game for an organization so rudderless. It was sad to see the fans turn on the team, too. No matter how much the players themselves fight it, the rotten atmosphere surrounding this team is taking a heavy toll. More than anything, this team needs help – they need the confidence of those around them. Instead, they’re getting an ownership and management team willing to blame everyone but themselves, and a fanbase all too happy to kick them when they’re down.

    The team was playing well going into this one. They had ONE loss (in OT no less) in their last nine games. They played very well today, except for certain stretches. Unfortunately those stretches came on the power play. That’s the breaks sometimes. Their effort was unquestionably present. Their confidence is still shaky – rightfully so. They’re not out of the woods on this yet.

    • Their effort was not there in the first period, sorry. They started the game sluggishly. And the atmosphere has been overall very positive lately. Dot extrapolate fans booing a bad PP as being anything more than just that. Booing a bad PP. it’s not like they get booed all the time.

      And just because there are problems other than Kompon, that isn’t a good enough reason to keep him around JT. Players need to step up AND Kompon needs to go. It’s not a scapegoat situation. It’s a Kompon is failing at his job and so are his subordinates. When one or two subordinates aren’t pulling their weight then the boss doesn’t go, the subordinates do. When every single subordinate is underachieving, the boss has to go. It’s no different than it was with Murray. Players are still underperforming but things have taken a step in the right direction since firing the man in charge.

      • Their effort was not there in the first period, sorry. They started the game sluggishly.

        … Whatever you say, man.

        Dot extrapolate fans booing a bad PP as being anything more than just that. Booing a bad PP. it’s not like they get booed all the time.

        … I also enjoyed the fans booing the team off the ice at the end of the game. You’re right, man; they’re really, really behind the team. My ass.

        It’s not a scapegoat situation.

        … Yes, it is. Rationalize it all you want. It’s a fucking witch hunt. The players just didn’t execute the PP well. They had trouble handling the puck, they cuffed their open shots, they misfired on their passes. They allowed the opposing goalie a clear line of sight to the puck, and that goalie made the most of it. This has got nothing to do with Kompon.

        • Nothing to do with Kompon? Really? Nothing. How about players having confidence in who is running their gameplan? You are the one who thinks that Sutter has done nothin To the system except change the attitude and that led to a 9 game unbeaten streak after 2 weeks f some of the worst hockey the Kings had played in years. Would it surprise you to hear the players have no confidence in their PP coach? Think that has no tangible ripple effect? 4.9% on the PP in the last 20 something games. That’s the result.

          They get handcuffed because they are predictable and easy to defend against. They flub their shots because they are frustrated. The goalie makes saves because they don’t outnumber the opposition down low. The biggest part of this that isn’t Kompon’s fault is because they don’t have Zus or Smyth. And yet, Kompon is still running the PP like we have guys who are great at screening the goalie when we don’t. The gameplan doesn’t fit the players and it needs to get thrown out the window. They are defining insanity and if you think just continuing to try ad fail at te same thing over and over again will eventually solve the problem, you’re nuts.

          And jeez you’d think we were Vancouver fans with you whining about the team getting booed. They get booed what, once, maybe twice a year? I am not a fan of the booing and I don’t do it, but I know where it comes from and don’t let it get in the way of appreciating that Kings fans have hung in through thick and fucking thin. Why don’t you show your support JT and come to a game every once and a while? Stop making mountains of molehills.

          • I am not a fan of the booing and I don’t do it

            … Then, this has got nothing to do with you. It’s a general frustration. Many Kings fans DO hang in through everything, and I admire them. I’ve been a fan a long time. Some have been fans longer than I have. Some have been fans since the beginning of the team. I think if you asked for the general consensus of those fans, they would say that they hate the booing. That’s all I’m trying to say here.

            They get handcuffed because they are predictable and easy to defend against. They flub their shots because they are frustrated.

            … I don’t agree. They’re getting handcuffed because they’re not executing passes smoothly or handling the puck well. They’re not shooting well because – well, hell, they MAY be frustrated. But I see it as more of a lack of confidence, and again, a lack of focus and intensity.

            You are the one who thinks that Sutter has done nothin To the system except change the attitude.

            … He’s done very little to change the system, and I actually don’t have a problem with that. And, yes – I do think the attitude was better over the last nine games or so. Today, I didn’t see that. Maybe it was this team’s usual day game malaise; I don’t know. The Jackets played a good game defensively, and Sanford played well in net. Sometimes, the Kings are going to lose to a team inferior to them, just as they beat Chicago and Vancouver, who are superior to them. That’s going to happen over the course of a long season, and it’s not really a shocking thing if you’ve been around long enough to understand the way the ebb and flow of a season works.

            Would it surprise you to hear the players have no confidence in their PP coach?

            … What kind of a question is that? I have no access to the dressing room; I don’t know WHAT the real mood of the team is toward Kompon, or toward Sutter or Stevens or Lombardi for that matter, and I hate speculating about it. Honestly, I don’t know what to think right now. I saw Jim Fox talking at the end of the game and he seems to be almost at a loss for words trying to describe how the team is going to manage to win games from this point forward.

            I think everyone’s pretty shocked right now. I didn’t think the Kings would be nearly as good as they were hyped up to be, but I certainly didn’t expect them to be scoring as little as they are. And I don’t think it’s any one person’s fault, whether that person is Murray or Kompon or Sutter or whoever. But I DO know that the lack of leadership and the lack of accountability by those in upper management is going to have a negative impact on the team.

          • Fox was at a loss for word…spoke for a full minute and said nothing coherent.

            As you said earlier, “management”. To which I will add …”reacting too slowly”.

            Poor Kings teams come and go…one difference this year is there the Club has real talent to work with at all three positions (front, back, goal) at the same time. This has normally not been the case in LA.


          • They’re not JUST not handling the puck well, they are not handling the puck well because they always have pressure up their ass and basically get chased around with their back to the play half the time. It makes it harder to make clean, crisp passes when you wait until the last minute to pass, allowing the box to pressure you and cut off options.

            If you’re going to play a perimeter game, you should make the passes quick and before pressure is on you and cutting off options. Watch Kopi skate INTO a PK’er instead of the gap, picking up pressure and then losing 1 of his 2 passing options, he does this basically every time. Watch Doughty or JJ holding the puck at the point until a defender is right up on him, and then having to make a saucer pass or shitty pass to escape pressure.

            When a PK’er can cut off a passing lane, the other PK’ers can make a read off that and get a jump towards the only open option, and maintain hard pressure on the puck.

            It doesn’t help either that there is no movement and no one trying to get open either. I think it’s pretty ridiculous to say Kompon is just a scapegoat at this point, when it has gone on so long without change. This was our problem last year too and still no change.

    • Why shouldn’t Kompon go? What purpose does he serve? I think you’re right…get rid of the scapegoats and we can get down to the real problem here.

    • I learned from the streets of New York that there’s no better time to kick a man than when he’s down.

      I’ve been supportive of Lombardi for 4.5 years – through Hickey and Teubert and lousy trades – but the sign on the exit door just turned on. The Kings will be lucky to make the playoffs. Too many talented teams out there.

      • Very sorry to admit that I agree with you.
        If the best forward you’ve drafted that is currently on your team is…. who is it? Loktionov? Well, not surprisingly that just isn’t good enough. Not even close.

        I don’t know yet how good of a job he’s done in goal cause he didn’t draft Quick. He’s done a pretty good job with some of the d, but he spent numerous draft picks to do it, and as for the forwards, I can’t even give him a C-.

        • This is true. I wrote an article about this recently – all of his drafting and moves have been D oriented. In 6 years to not draft and develop a legit top 6 is pathetic.

    • If you thought they played well today I’d hate to see them on an off day. Holy shattenkirk they fucking stunk the place up.

    • Rudderless is exactly the term. Trade rumors, fears of being sent down or both have hung over the heads of at least 8 or 9 players since training camp.

      Then that “sow’s ear” bullshit management spun to make something of the pathetic start the team had…same bullshit heard today.

      “Bad Game”

      Every team has bad games. And, 1-0 games can be some of the most exciting…but playing well? The defense is exceptional, best I’ve seen here since Pulford, but half of the game remains AWOL.

      Leaving a point on the table is one thing, playing the beggar happy with a handout is quite another. Not losing is not the same as winning..or playing well. “Not losing” does not cut it. No 4-4 OT or shootouts in playoff games..

      Looking at the last 18 games…ugh
      5 Wins
      1 OT win
      2 SO win
      7 Loss
      3 OT loss

      Now the Past 6, smaller ugh, but still ugh.
      2 Wins
      1 OT win
      1 Loss
      2 OT loss

      5 pure wins in the past 18 (10 losses)
      2 pure wins in the past 6 (3 losses)
      …a small improvement.

      It’s all about fixing the power play and we go from good to great.

  5. Same old story here, the guys played hard, competed hard, outshot the bj’s i believe but I think it’s gonna take some time before the TM offensive system is completely forgotten. It may take a full training camp to purge all of the old habbits from the offense. The guys are playing much better but there were still a lot of low percentage shots being taken from the perimeter. Give the blow jobs some credit for clogging the front of the net and their goalie being able to see pucks through the wall in front of him. The guy had X-ray vision today. I wouldn’t be calling for DL’s job as I’ve heard on other boards. We need to pick up some better wingers, play the current style from game 1 and we should be in a much better position. This just isn’t our year to do much.

    • As for Sanford having X-ray vision, bullshit. The Kings don’t get enough players in front f the net. It’s a problem with the way they set up the PP. brown is the only one in front of the net and there are two blue jackets tere to box him out. You need to outnumber the opposition on the Pp and the Kings aren’t doing that. Sanford didn’t have X-ray vision, he just ha regular vision because no one was bothering to block it.

      • Yeah that’s what fox said, they weren’t screening good enough. I thought the guy was seeing the puck pretty good though. Then again my eye site is shit.

  6. That game was boring as hell

    Kings must be easy to coach against. I sit watching and you can tell right away what the Kings will do if they recover the puck in the opposition’s corner, even on the powerplay–it goes straight to the point. They don’t even look.

    It got so bad Sutter kept putting Clifford out there on the powerplay

    Getting scored on by a guy nicknamed “Clit” only makes it all the more bitter…

  7. Another issue I have, and I noticed this last game too, is that Sanford (and Smith) had really good glove hands. Both were snatching up everything thrown glove side. Yet, I kept seeing the Kings shoot glove side, over and over and over. I didn’t see them shoot at his blocker very much at all. I don’t understand that one. Why always try to pick the same corner? I suppose that it a pretty clear effect of frustration.

    • That would imply they have the skill set to do Jacob. Personally I think they have a serious skill set issue. They pick a corner – they shoot wide. They try compensate – they shoot and hit the net dead center, but oh yeah the keeper is sitting there. I haven’t seen any signs in weeks of anyone exhibiting any skill.

      Couple this with their slow decision making and you have a team that can’t score. They don’t have the skills to thread it and they don’t make decisions quick enough that lead to outmanned, open looks at the net.

      • You have a point. I agree the Kings need more skill, but come on, Kopi and Williams are damn fine shooters and even they are guilty of myopic writing and in imaginative play. We’ve directly seen much better from not just some, but virtually ALL of our players.

        Do we raj up there in terms of skill with Vancouver or Boston? No. But we certainly aren’t completely devoid of high end scoring talent. We need more of it, sure, but it’s not a matter of ‘they just don’t have the skill’ in my opinion.

        As a tangent, I know Loki has been as disappointing as everyone else on the team offensively, but it drives me bat shit crazy that he isn’t seeing any PP time at all. I can’t even get into all the reasons why he should be, but it’s ridiculous not to throw him out there for more than the 30 some odd seconds he saw today, which is more than I’ve seen him there all season.

  8. My take:

    The Kings controlled the great majority of this game. 5 on 5, looked good. In the third period, three, counter them THREE forwards were forechecking and the D1 was in the offense on every zone entry. With all the PKs (and Justin Williams’ sheer undisciplined stupidity as well as that of Doughty), it’s hard to get and keep momentum 5 on 5. That is where the powerplay becomes critical. Yet, the powerplay was the mother of all momentum killers. 0 for 8? 0 for fucking 8! The boys stop attacking on the PP. The play isn’t taken down low. We are shooting from the point to try to pick a corner rather than getting the puck on net. No attempt at seam passes. No lateral passing. Personally, some will disagree, the Kings are falling back into old habits (the ones that pervaded Terry Murray’s offense and IS Jamie Kompon’s PP) when they have the man advantage. Static. Perimeter. Point. Fix that and you fix the PP.

  9. Someone somewhere today did a post on how the Kings wings lack speed and skill. Who am I too disagree. I actually wholeheartedly agree except for the fact that Brad Richardson and Trevor Lewis both do have speed. But they are both natural centers who don’t have a huge skill set.

    DL has done a definitively poor job of drafting forwards for this organization. That simple. Going into his sixth year here and who is One player…. One player that he’s responsible for Drafting that is a game changer other than Drew Doughty (when he’s on his game). I’m not even gonna say that’s not good enough. It’s actually very poor. He’s drafted some nice defensemen for sure. A very good goalie. Basta.

    That to me is just plain sad. Even though they’ve been playing better lately I’m getting to the point where I’m plain over Lombardi. Now on his third coach. What does it take?

    I’ll tell you what it takes. It takes being willing to actually take some risks like drafting a SKILLED forward in the first round, like finding some exciting new people to be around you. Not one guy after another after another that you ALREADY know. Nothing wrong with a few. But really!! Futi, Hextall, Justin Williams, Gagne, Mike Richards, Terry Murray, Darryl Sutter, Hunter, Handzus.
    Not that there aren’t some admirable people in that mix, but for Christo sake. How about taking an effing Risk sometime. Thats what the successful GM’s do.

    Don’t even start me on his draft record. It’s not bad for sure. Not bad will not win crappola in the west.

  10. Though I don’t particularly like Kompon, lets be honest, I and others have been saying for years now, we’re not as gifted as some have betrayed us. We need more skill, plain and simple….No more excuses regarding TM and his philosophy Though our offense is creating far more scoring opportunities, we still lack effectiveness. Kopitar, where are you? I say the sane thing, year after year. Brown? Williams? Gagne has sucked most of the year.. Penner, who I defended and thought would make a difference after a full summer, you’re are horrible!

    Quick and the defense, including the PK have been outstanding. They are the only reason we are still in the playoff race. For god sake can we please get some offense, any will do. I’m so frustrated! .

  11. The best part about this game for me was the best national anthiem performance I had ever witnessed. By a twelve year old girl. The Kings should just let her sing it every time.

    Also, I was sitting in 321 row 12 and there was this guy in front of me trying so hard to get everyone in the section in on the “let’s go kings”. I yell it and clap but a majority of people don’t. Most people tried to disregard this guy as a loser and looked on him with contempt. He was annoying at times but I understood his frustration with the kings fans who don’t chant an cheer for the team. are this many people honestly embarrassed to yell out load in front of others?

    Next time any body decides to boo or groan at your team maybe make a better decision and cheer, yell, clap. Anything! Staples has been too quiet lately.

    Also I really enjoyed kings talk after the game. I truely enjoy Nick Nixon and Evans. Every fan that called in was frustrated by the 0 offense and so was NN and DE. They talked a lot about Quick and how he is our MVP no doubt. And how they wish the boys in front of him would score some fucking goals and give him another 30 and more wins for the season.

  12. I have no idea why the Kings utilize the umbrella one the power play. Everybody knows it doesn’t rain in LA.

  13. Geezz fucking embarrasing. No words to describe that shithole of a game.

  14. Where the hell has Richards been lately? The guy looks lost

    • He’s been on left wing, where he doesn’t belong.

      • No he doesn’t, he’s not comforable there and not effective there which is why he didn’t play wing in Philly , in those situations, Briere and Carter did.
        Sutter appears to be the only person watching the Kings who hasn’t figured out the experiement is major fail.
        Put him back at center. I think Williams is the only winger that hasn’t played with him yet. P:ut him and Stoll on wing…but get him back at center before the Caps game.

  15. It occurs to me today just how much that game distressed me. So much so that I even though I was sitting very near to the Colmubus bench (friend gave us very nice seats, view wise anyway), I didn’t throw one deragatory word Jeff Carter’s way. I couldn’t even muster the courage to yell at a Columbus fan that reaaaally needed to be yelled at. I didn’t answer the Jacket fan chants with my own. These kinds f things rarely happen to me. Rarely do I feel like I just need to shut up. Oh sure, I yelled about the referees a few times but that was scapegoating to blow off steam and ignore the problem.

    On a side note, there were a lot of Columbus fans there. Like 3 or 4 pockets, maybe even 100 total. I imagined that if you had removed all the Kings fans from Staples yesterday, what you were left with likely resembled a Columbus home game.


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 4,286 other followers

%d bloggers like this: