How The Hell Did Hammond Not Ask Penner The Next Set Of Questions?!

From Rich:

Dustin Penner made it through a full practice today, and afterward said his back felt better. Penner said he suffered back spasms yesterday morning while — and I promise I’m not making this up — eating pancakes. Penner kept a good sense of humor about the whole episode but understandably didn’t think the back pain itself was very funny. His status for tomorrow’s game will likely be determined in the morning.

Rich’s status as “Insider” is forever tainted. If a player misses a game due to an injury suffered while eating breakfast and the beat writer for the team can’t bring himself to ask the very next set of questions as well as print them, then I am out of words in defending him!

Some examples…

“What really happened?”

“This happened at home? IHOP?”

“Was this your first plate? Second? Twelfth?”

“Do you have a history of breakfast induced injuries?”

“Are you sure it wasn’t while taking the post breakfast dump?”

“Have lunch or dinner caused any maladies that have kept you from playing on the ice consistent with your $4 plus million dollar per season contract?”

“Are you fucking for real?”

Update: I asked The Mayor to please follow up and find out what happened.



Categories: L.A. Kings News

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38 replies

  1. f
    k
    i
    n
    g
    l
    o
    l

  2. I share in recognition of Hammonds’s taint. Umm, wait a sec…er, nevermind.

  3. Kopitar has mad pancake eating skillz. He could give Penner some pointers on proper technique.

  4. Hammond is like the N Korean or Iranian newspapers. He’s only gonna give the fans what the organization wants us to hear. When was the last time he wrote something actually related to “inside info?” The only real “value” I get outta Hammond’s blog now is what the status of an injured players is or any line up changes. I think he’s admitted several times that he’s not even a Kings fan.

  5. … Uhh, two of these in one day? Is it that time of the month again?

    • If by that time of the month you mean the time of the month I want to smash Jamie Kompon’s face into several pieces, yes, it is. As for this post, I know you are reading comprehension challenged sometimes but if you looked closely, you would have seen my tongue firmly planted in cheek…

  6. Come Bobby…..Hammond doesn’t write anything that doesn’t pass review before publishing, you know better. Guessing everything he writes needs to be reviewed by some combo of Luc, Altieri and DL. There certainly is no way he would have the stones to make fun of one the players. Guy looks like he is going to have a seizure everytime he interacts publicly with someone.

    • He says differently and I don’t know the truth of it nor do I really care. I have long accepted Rich for what he is. An employee who wants to remain employed. Still though, that doesn’t mean I don’t like to point out the obvious every once in a while.

  7. As someone who suffers from back spasms on a regular basis, you’d be shocked how easy it is to throw your back or neck out. I’ve done it turning my head to look at something. I’ve done it brushing my damn teeth.

    Granted, getting injured while eating breakfast does take some real talent. At some point, I expect that’ll happen to me too.

    • I’ve never had the problem. Closest I’ve had is neck issues after playing. A sneeze, a turn of the head to check your blind spot while driving….boom and the neck would lock up again.

      But pancakes, are you kidding me? This will end up be a career defining moment for both Penner and DL. An embarassing moment obviously.

      In 20 years when someone asks what the Kings worse trade is I’m going to Penner. You know the guy we gave up a 1st and 3rd for, that injured his back eating pancakes. F’n classic….I couldn’t dream that up if I tried.

      • I wish he had shut up about it. It’s odd to say but I almost didn’t want to know. Imagine what Dean’s reaction was when he read that Penner couldn’t play because he got a back spasm while eating pancakes. I don’t think it was, “poor guy, he’s really been busting his ass and he deserves a day off.” Dean either shook his head and cursed himself for making the trade or cursed Penner for being Penner. Penner has the makings of possibly being the worst trade Dean has made (what is Penner worth now in a trade? A 3rd? Maybe?) and we have several to choose from with Dean for that title.

    • I have a history of back issues, mostly from sports and bull riding (yes, the real ones). As I got older, I made a commitment to keeping my abs in top shape. Since then, back problems mostly disappeared and, when they have appeared, it’s been very minor.

  8. I think it was all you can eat pancakes at IHOP. Haven’t you ever pulled a cervical or lumbar muscle handing a clean platter of flap jacks to the waitress, and then stretching to get the next platter of the strawberry, and then the next platter or apple cinnamon, and then the next platter or blueberry pancakes.

    After they ran out of the pancakes, they decided to substitute them with crepes, and after crepes, Belgian waffles.

    A image of Big Earl from Diner ordering everyting from the left side of the menu and eating all of it before contorting himself into his Hillman Minx comes into my head.

    There is a IHOP about a half mile east of Bucco De Bepo and Fatburger.

    • Have you considered, like I have, that Penner is actually lying / joking about the pancake incident? With his sense of humor and its dry / straight faced nature, it would not surprise me. I am kind of leaning toward it.

      • Bobby – bingo :)… Without any follow up questions to his smart ass answer, people actually start taking it seriously. See, he’s playing on the whole “everyone thinks I’m fat and slow” thing. You know a joke bombed when you have to explain it.

  9. Sources have just confirmed that Penner was eating the Rooty Tooty Fresh ‘N Fruity from IHOP

  10. Awesome… Now I have an excuse when I show up late to work…

    Hungover!? No Sir, Pancakes….

  11. I’ve had back spasms many times and I can say that it just happens. It doesn’t matter if you are eating pancakes, on the couch, or on the toilet it is not anything that is really describable. I used to laugh when I heard about pro’s in any sport sitting out because of a spasm until I had them. The first time I actually thought it was having heart problems and went through all kinds of test before we could figure it was coming from my back. Other times I could not stand up straight.
    I agree that it could have been a joke. Or many he just realized it was happening as he ate.

    Good news is he should be back soon. I’m hoping that since he has been looking much better lately he can actually put one in the net.

    • When Hammond interviewed Penner “I have great news and even better news,” Penner said. “Great news: I’m not playing tomorrow night. Good news: We have a chance to win the game.”

      You must have been suffering from blepharospasms because Penner hasn’t look like anything other than a 4.25 mansion which Elin Nordegren should demolish also.

  12. I think Hammond was so stunned at such a ridiculous answer that his mind went completely blank as his mouth fell open and Penner managed to sneak away. It’s the only plausible explanation.

  13. The best thing about the Insider blog is definitely the comments from the fans. Most of the time I ignore Hammond’s lame questions or “independent reporting” and skip straight to the stars of the blog… The King fans!

    Hammond is just an unfortunate by product of that blog. Someone pointed out earlier, all he is good for is injury updates, and even that isn’t all that hard to report. It’s either going to be an upper or lower body injury, or the famous TM “mid body” injury.

    But don’t call him on it or he will block you from commenting.

  14. Tell me what ya’ll think of my idea of ‘No more B.S. from the Kings’ -http://www.examiner.com/los-angeles-kings-in-los-angeles/kings-reaching-critical-mass

  15. Back spasms are serious, but the extensive pancake details? Haha. His sense of humor is widely known. He sure got you to swallow this whole.

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