Kings vs. Oilers: Doughnuts, Pancakes & More Megan Fox.

As soon as we fucked up that powerplay Boob (thank you reader Sydor25 for reminding me that the new name for the powerplay is “Boob”) at the end of the third period, I knew we were losing this game in overtime. I all but called it on Twitter. Still though, the officiating tonight was garbage.

Anze Kopitar went into beast mode during parts of that third period.

The main thing missing tonight from the L.A. Kings offense was sustained pressure. We had it in spurts during the second and third but, unlike the games against Vancouver, Washington and Calgary, the attack mentality (the replacement for the now dead, buried and pissed on its grave “shot mentality”) was not present throughout most of the game.

Side note: What is it with our first periods? It’s like all the players channel their inner Doughty.

Speaking of Drew Doughty, he managed to provide plenty of material to his detractors with that abortion of a performance. Hey, what do you expect for a lousy $7 million? Our reader, player-x, has already written most of his next article in his head. Reader JT is preparing his rebuttal.

Dustin Penner’s game is improving. Unfortunately, it is improving at such a slow pace that he may be good by the time the Kings have committed to not re-signing him.

Jarret Stoll. Where have your hands gone?

What a pass by Horcoff on that OT winner. Bastard.

Have you noticed how politely Oilers fans sit in their arena and watch the game? They are like Ducks fans, except smarter and Canadian.

When Jim Fox was interviewing Ryan Smyth between periods, I kept waiting for Foxy to ask Smyth where the Doors’ song “L.A. Woman” ranks on his favorite’s list…that kind of thing doesn’t happen in real life though.

Theo Peckham is not a hockey player’s name. That is the name  of a New York Jewish deli owner’s son. Waiting for Surly to lash out in 3…2…1…

Someone in the arena threw a drink or something at Darryl Sutter after the game. I thought the Sutters were deity in Alberta? I approve Texas style justice for that infidel.

Fox Sports West is not a sports station. No sports station covers a hockey game and then within one minute of its conclusion breaks away to an irrelevant roundtable discussion among three idiots about college football. When will Surly & I own our own cable channel so we can bring you L.A. Kings hockey coverage the way the Hockey Gods intended it? Think the Man Show, South Park & L.A. Kings hockey all married into one.

For all of you who are angry or depressed about tonight’s loss: Megan Fox. I assume it works just as well for the ladies or, at least, the kind of ladies we like the most around these parts.

Enough of this. We got a fucking point. Moving on…

Scribe’s Three L.A. Kings Stars:

3. Slava Voynov

2. Anze Kopitar

1. Jonathan Quick



Categories: L.A. Kings News

Tags: , , ,

12 replies

  1. Yes, BOOBS! And no fucking PSA’s about anything. There’s a place for them, but not during a professional hockey game!

  2. After the last game I asked that Sutter give his first intermission rally speech before the game. Instead he gave during the second intermission. Man when this team gets up they can control a game but I feared tonight we ran Into a team that was just determined as all hell to win. Still, we could have/should have had it. Though at times I worried if we’d even get the loser point. So good on us for breaking through on that.

    Doughty sucked.

    There is absolutely nothing Jewy about the names Theo or Peckham.

    At least San Jose lost.

  3. Boys were tired looking tonight. Onwards and upwards to the next game. The squad is coming together.

  4. No need to focus my detractor beam on The Dew, I just sit back and silently know everybody with any sense can’t help but see that what I was saying happens, and happens repeatedly.

    Am I above an “I told You So?” Obviously not, but that’s what the second article was already about. Still waiting for that rebuttal from J.T., though…

  5. Another reference to your penchant for Megan Fox?

    Oh, my friends . . . over a translucent flower I see a great snail crawling . . .

  6. Dont worry, scribe! Im winning the lottery next week! U’ll have yout cable station ASAP.

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