Question: How many articles have I written about my love for Zach Parise?
Answer: Many. No joke. There have been a bunch. More than you think. I am obsessed with him. Just plain head over heels. More than any other pending UFA, ever. I know, it’s insane right? It goes on forever. We have tried to keep a sense of humor about it.
As the New York Post article confirms:
Parise makes $6 million (he will make more in his next contract).
The Devils can’t make payroll.
The NHL will be paying New Jersey’s debts.
New Jersey is weighing trading Zach for picks.
Ilya Kovalchuk called and screamed at his agent for getting him in this mess…ok, I made that part up but I bet Ilya is as nervous about the team that owes him $100 million making good as Washington Mutual was about loaning $1.1 million for all of those 1200 square foot condos in Culver City, eh? What happened to Washington Mutual? Exactly. But hey Newark has good schools…Culver City’ s suck.
Devils are on pace to lose $20 million…well, that doesn’t sound so bad. Don’t the L.A. Kings lose more than that? Oh wait, L.A. Live, shopping, restaurants, entertainment, Lakers and Clippers renting but hey, maybe Jeff Vanderbeek gets a cut from that arena close Newark hooker that charges by the hour and gives out-of-town folk half off if they bring a friend for a sword fight. I enjoyed this part of the article:
Vanderbeek, who owns 47 percent of the team, does not have the money to fund losses, while billionaire Ray Chambers, who also owns 47 percent, no longer wants to fund the team.
Last year, Vanderbeek unsuccessfully tried to sell Chambers’ stake. Chambers has offered to pay lenders $24 million to get out of his financial guarantee, indicating that he believes the club is not worth more than its roughly $200 million in team and stadium debt.
Chambers has declined comment.
Back to Parise.
You know what all of this means right? We’ll get rid of Jarret Stoll, perhaps Dustin Penner and then the Detroit Red Wings will land Zach Parise as a rental and sign him in the offseason…or maybe the Minnesota Wild get their home state boy back. The latter would make me happier than seeing Parise wearing that disgusting winged wheel.
All I want for my February is Zach Parise on Mike Richards’ left. Oh, a boy can dream.