Poor Greg Wyshynski, Rich Zach Parise

Surly and I like Greg Wyshynski. He is a good writer and runs a successful website for Yahoo Sports’ Puck Daddy that has the more than occasional sense of humor and doesn’t always take itself too seriously. Hey, anyone who gives Ryan Lambert a job has to enjoy laughing and be playing with someone else’s money. As far as we can tell, Greg has one glaring character flaw and that is his undying allegiance to the New Jersey Devils. Today, Greg gave us this regarding Zach Parise. It is a double shot of lamentation with a chaser of concession.

At the Board of Governors meeting in Ottawa last weekend, it was confirmed that the New Jersey Devils are being subsidized as a financial train wreck forwarded revenue payments as their ownership group continues to battle and they face an $80 million debt obligation that could lead the team to bankruptcy.

So, good times then …


News on the state of New Jersey increased the speculation about captain Zach Parise leaving the State of New Jersey before he hits unrestricted free agency next summer. But according to the NY Post,word around the League is that Parise will remain a Devils through next month’s trade deadline.

From the NY Post:

Sources say inquiring general managers are getting the word Devils GM Lou Lamoriello is not dealing unrestricted free agent-to-be Zach Parise before the NHL’s Feb. 27 trade deadline.

Instead, it is thought if the Devils do not want to re-sign Parise in June, they’ll trade his rights to a team that wants an advance shot at negotiations before he becomes free July 1.

So the Ryan Suter Plan, essentially.

Kind of.

(A) This could be exactly the plan because the Devils are in playoff position and even though they don’t have a chance in Dante’s hell to go far, who gets rid of their captain when they can at least compete? or

(B) This is bullshit and Lou is waiting for an offer that makes his team better than it currently is (read: top 6 but not of Parise’s quality, a solid defensive prospect and a 1st), at which time he will send Parise off while cursing that moron Vanderbeek and the $100 million + contract he forced down the team’s throat over Ilya Kovalchuk.

Along the lines of (B), are you telling me that if the Kings offered Brown, Voynov and a 1st, Lamoriello wouldn’t fall over himself and drive Zach to the airport? No, I would not make that trade in case you are wondering. Too much. I want to get Zach for free. It will hurt more.

This should come as a shock to … no one. First, because the Devils believe they have a considerable shot at bringing Parise back. That may fly in the face of logic and spit in the face of their debt-collectors, but there’s a reason they gave him the captaincy.

They gave Parise the captaincy to guilt him into staying.

Second, because even if Lamoriello felt Parise wouldn’t re-sign, he’s been in a win-now mode since the lockout. He’s not going to undermine a veteran team — and one of his franchise goalie’s last runs — by dealing away the team’s best player (sorry, Ilya). He’d rather go for a Stanley Cup than trade when the value’s highest. Maybe not the best thing for the franchise, but without question the best thing for Lou.

Or he is banking (pun intended) that the Devils will work out their financial mess between now and July and he may actually have a prayer in the aforementioned hell to retain Zach.

As a Devils fan, I don’t expect Parise back, but I believe he could come back. (It also speaks to my being raised in Jersey, where pessimism has its own learning unit during kindergarten.) The team’s finances are one concern. His family pulling him back to Minnesota is another concern. The notion that Parise thinks he has a better shot at a Stanley Cup somewhere other than New Jersey is yet another.

But the school system in New Jersey, the weather, the economy, the misunderstood paradise that is Newark, all of those reasons Ilya Kovalchuk chose New Jersey over L.A. including the Russian Mafia…oh wait, Zach is American.

But hey, at least he’ll still be in red and black when the team’s eliminated in the first round again this postseason …

That’s the spirit.

Categories: L.A. Kings News

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30 replies

  1. Drive Zach to the airport: fucking hilarious

  2. …and once again Lombardi will miss out when said team negotiates a hefty deal for zach that the Kings can’t match… and I no longer spend $$$$ on 41 games a season, instead opt for the 10 game pack and the oft chance that the Sutter helmed Kings will once again waste another year of Kopitar and Brown’s contract and make it to the first round of the playoffs, where they will be eliminated… again, by the Nashville Predators.




    Since 1968

    When most of you weren’t born.

    • Still waiting for the Cup and the clock keeps tricking.

      Its almost a joke when Miller obits “we will miss long time Kings Fan So and So”

      Lombardi’s train left the tracks when he wasted that off-season chasing Kovalchuk.

      I don’t think he has regained his senses since.

      I been waiting for that cup since Pulford was coach. Fucking stick…


    I notice you pretend to consider Brown, Voynov, and a 1st too big a price to pay. But I’m not buying it, Scribe.

    Every time Parise’s name is mentioned your nose arcs into the air like George C. Scott’s when he learns the Russian ambassador will be admitted to the War Room.

    You’d sell this team’s heart, its liver, and it’s balls to get Parise into a Kings uniform. Such spastic adoration is truly disturbing.

  4. Maybe if AEG makes a tape of Megan Fox flicking the bean and mouthing “Zack…” over and over that will give us the edge in the Parise negotiations.

  5. Told everybody during the summer Parise was a pipe dream before he reaches free agency.

    Hooowww doooo I reeeaaach dees kiiiiiidzzzz?

    • Dominick, the more I’m thinking about it, and hearing stuff (such as that he’s from Minnesota) the more I think it’s a pipedream during the summer as well.

      He would lean towards that or Detroit which isn’t far away. Where does he have the best chance of winning a cup? Pretty clear at the moment isn’t it. He’d actually play with some high octane forwards in Detroit, and they still have the great goaltending.

      Don’t know if even way overpaying him to get him here would do it. He’s an east(ish) coast boy… or north east if you prefer.

  6. Ahhh, summer in Parise. Landing Zach Parise in free agency…Brad Richards, Ilya Kovalchuk, ad infinitum.

    Lombardi is gonna go in with anothr reasonable offer that the Kings can live with and a video from a cast of non-hockey celebrities.

    Zach eats some popcorn, catches up on his texting until they turn the lights on again, and says, “Thank you very much. Next, please.”

  7. It would seem to me that Lou should be looking for inexpensive, highly touted youth along with high picks.

    But its not Lou’s money and creditors don’t dictate trades.

    No contract, no movement.

  8. I’d love to see Parise play for the Kings, but I’m not going to hold my breath. After years of build up and let downs, I’ve decided to learn to be happy with the team in all of its iterations, and just go from there. Oh look, another reason I won’t purchase season tickets…

  9. Forget about Parise, put Gange on LTIR, put a deal together for Carter, Let him and Richards go on a bender to get it out of thier system right away and compete for second round playoff run.

    • That seems the most realistic move if you make a move before the deadline. The only other moves I see are adding some depth via future considerations.

  10. I just payed $7.99 to surf the net on a flight to Miami in order to make a bank transfer, and my girl said ” you’re just gonna read that Swirly & scribbles web site” . She was right..

  11. @Scribe

    Not to bring you down my friend, but this from your friend Wyshnski wrt Parise (from live talk in response to future of Parise)

    Wyshynski: Parise: Is he leaves Jersey, I’m guessing Detroit, Minnesota top two choices.

    No way can DL compete with Detroit to get that guy signed. He’s from that neck of the woods to begin with, and with Lombardi’s high powered offense, I think he’d feel he has a better chance at the Cup in Detroit.

  12. Lets say the Kings keep this current roster, there is no way anyone would want to rent Penner, or Stoll (although maybe a Eastern Conference Team), minus Parse, and most likely Gagne.

    Lets say they rent a more productive forward or 2.

    There is a new Sheriff in town, and not some guy standing behind the bench with the same facial expression, which might be caused by too much Botox, afterall this is Los Angeles.

    Sutter speaks to his players. Sutter probably doesn’t think the players should just motivate themselves. Sutter finally gets that knot out of the system, which has caused a poor, ok the worst or among the worst scoring averages per game in all of the NHL

    Lets assume, the defense and goaltending are still keeping the other guys from scoring more than the Kings in their playoff games. Lets assume Sutter wouldn’t stand behind the bench, and freeze after the team blows a 4 goal lead. Lets assume Sutter uses a timeout or pulls the goaltender who regardless of fault is in net after that 4th goal is scored or before (it worked for SJ when they pulled Niemi in game 3).

    Lets assume the Kings can win at least 1 game or 2 games at home after winning 2 games in the other guys barn.

    If all of these assumptions actually pan out, the Kings get out of the 1st round.

    Lets assume we hear Bob Miller scream “Do You Believe In Miracles?” Yes!!

    Cone heads, your shift, ok coach pass, shoot, score.

    Least we forget, last season the boys made the playoffs without Williams, Kopitar and had the Sharks in the rear naked choke and broke free and laid a wicked arm bar on the Kings and they just tapped out.

    Bring back Moulson, or go after Mikhail Grabovski

    • Someone said on some post that to bring back Moulson would be for DL to admit the mistake he made. That doesn’t seem the sort of thing that he’d do.
      Anyway, I’m quite sure that Moulson and the Isles both want him to stay on Long Island so he can complete his firsts forty goal season.
      23rd the other night and counting. He could very likely do it. Good for him.

      Anyway it backs up DL’s new mantra…. ‘hey, who needs goal scorers anyway’?

  13. After reading so many articles i must make my first comment, which happens to be a request. Can Dustin Penner be referred to as “pen cakes” from now on? Thanks.

  14. … Well, something happened tonight, as in the Kings won a game that counted in the standings, on a goal scored by a player who is curb level with .4 seconds to go.

    But hey who cares about those things let’s talk about trades and free agent signings that will never happen in this lifetime GO

    • You’re always such a ray of sunshine, Dutch.

      But I’ve walked out of games where the Assholes scored on US with just a second or two to go.

      It’s better being on the winning end of these.

    • Open forum? The kings won in regulation. Scored 3 goals Pen cakes. Wow. Loved staples center tonight. doughty from his knee. It was fun. Please have a nice analysis. I’m waiting….

    • Since the term “curb level” in relation to Doughty was coined by me, I will respond to you J.T.

      We disagreed about Doughty’s performance level up to the point of that article. We also disagreed on what was expected of him due to contract and ice time and assigned roles. I described examples of specific bad habits that were at that time in his game. The next game against Washington he displayed nearly all those bad habits.

      Since then, his game has been improving, and nobody could be more happy about it than me. But, when he has a very good game now, that does not mean that he was playing well all season.

      I agree with you about so many of the most desirable free agent signings never happening, and it is really frustrating. Do you think it is Lombardi? Is it the travel, the franchise history, the system and coaches, why is it that over the years thru so many “regimes” the Kings have ended up with the Ansion Carters and Kevin Stevens, and not the Brad Richards?

  15. The Kings also wound up with the Willie Mitchells and Rod Scuderis and Michal Handzuses.

    We’ve had our moments in the sun even under THIS regime.

    It hasn’t just been a steady importation of has-beens and assholes


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