Boy oh boy. Nothing like communicating something really stupid and then realizing it was stupid, followed by realizing you wrote said stupid for the world to see and then scrambling to remove stupid except to find that someone smart took a screen shot of stupid.

(Foul! Cheats! Bastards! Oh wait, the timekeepers work for the NHL?)

The most interesting comment is of course:

“It is an amazing coincidence that with the Kings on a power play at STAPLES Center and with a mad scramble around our net in the dying seconds of the third period of a 2-2 hockey game that the clock stopped for at least one full second. I can only think of two ways in which this would have happened. Either there was a deliberate stopping of the clock or the clock malfunctioned.”

After reading this, I decided to take it upon myself to point out the top 10 things of which Scott Howson should be aware that, while on the surface may seem amazing and/or a coincidence, really are neither.

10. Notice all of those girls who skate out on the ice and shovel snow during TV timeouts and breaks?  Check out their great tits your players pretend not to notice? Not real.

9. That lion who runs around Staples Center like a maniac giving your players shit and rallying the crowd to a frenzy? Not a real lion.

8. A high scoring forward with a long contract and favorable cap hit from the Philadelphia Flyers is traded to his shock and chagrin and struggles to score goals with his new team that he never wanted to play for…oh you thought I was talking about Jeff Carter? Okay, that is not coincidence either.

7. My last name really isn’t Scribe. 

6. A team with the initials of B and J is bound to suck.

5. NHL off ice officials have similar incompetence levels as the on ice version.

4. Eric Cartman doesn’t hate your team. He is paid to talk smack.

3. The significantly more metal you hear at Kings home games is not the direct result of Surly constantly bitching about the topic on this site.

2. When a player for whom you trade won’t speak to the media, won’t return your calls and texts, and it takes weeks plus an entourage to visit his home to pull the bottle of Jack out of his hands and finally talk, you bought yourself a $58 million dollar case of what the hell was I thinking.

And the number 1 thing you, Mr. Howson, may be surprised to learn is neither amazing nor coincidence…

1. You’re fucked.