There is a conspiracy against me to inhibit me from watching any more Kings games. It’s what Matthew Barry might refer to as being ‘blessed’ but I find disturbing. Disturbing mostly due to the fact that I’m not all that upset about it. There was a time not too long ago that I agonized over missing even a single period of LA Kings hockey yet here I am today, tired after an exhausting week, having missed the last 4 games and having little intention of waking up earlier than I have to on a Saturday morning in order not to miss a 5th. I’m about as fond of watching hockey at 10am as I am sunbathing at midnight.

Sure, one could say my apathy is largely because it’s not easy to get riled up to watch the Kings take on a team that may just be duller to watch than they are, the New York Islanders. You wouldn’t be totally wrong to say that. But you’d be missing the far more depressing point that watching a team you love struggle to score at a pace that would have been bad even for the decrepit New Jersey neutral zone trap era of clutching and grabbing is not a recipe for a spicy weekend.

Still, with Dwight King and Jordan Nolan set to make their 2011-2012 NHL debuts as top six wingers, roles they weren’t pegged to reach in the duration of their NHL careers, who better for us to play than the NY Islanders, who have been making top 6 forwards out of bottom 6 forwards for over a decade. Take note young ones, just because you are in bigger shoes than your feet can fill does not mean you shouldn’t be able to score dem goals.

Matt Moulson is a 30 goal scorer on a bad team you say? My thought process was just derailed. Shouldn’t a guy who scores 30 goals on a bad team be able to score more than that on a good team? I never really understood that logic. “Well of course he does well there. He’s surrounded by shit!”. So the point being that you have LESS fun having a threesome with a hot chick and her so-so friend than if you had the same threesome with the so-so friend and the mongoloid chick they only let out on especially cold nights? If Trent Hunter can score 20 goals on the Isle, what does that say about the Kings? My money says that you put Hunter on a better team and he actually scores a few more. Put him on the Red Wings and watch his career be magically rejuvenated. Put Matt Moulson on the Flyers and watch him score 40. Though if that were the case he would then have 3 concussions over the next 5 years, get traded to the Kings and proceed to miss virtually the entire season without ever being replaced. Naaaaaaaah.

Ah but the game. The game indeed. I expect a spark. Rookies always provide a jolt of adrenaline. The youthful exuberance that a new recruit brings when they get to live out their lifelong dream for the first time is infectious. If it proves anything but, it speaks to the state of our locker room more than it does the assembly of our talent.

I do think I read that in their last game the Islanders allowed a goal on their first shot against for the 10th time this season, a hilariously pathetic statistic if true. Anywhoo, I’ve found no other news of interest about the Islanders worth mentioning. The Kings big changes have already been discussed. I actually expect a win, but I also expect it to be a struggle. I have been excited to see what Nolan can do in the NHL for a while and I do always love watching players in their first game. It will also be interesting to see if Dwight Kings has improved his game since last year.

Finally, the Islanders have someone whose first name is listed as ‘PA’, which upsets me a great deal. It probably stands for something. Something like ‘parental abhorrence’. That’s how I’ve decided to end this article. Time to get your forum on.