I have never met Tim Leiweke. I have always wanted to. I imagine sitting down and talking puck with him over some damn good scotch (Macallan, 18 year, “neat”) would be fun.

How much more interesting would that discussion be if we talk about a moment in history when the San Jose Sharks, our North Cali rivals, landed Rick Nash.

If you haven’t heard (Hammond just found out), San Jose is on Rick Nash’s top 5 list. So are the Kings. If that isn’t an invitation for a couple of guys with maximum testosterone to one up each other and land the prom queen so one of them can stick a red leather ball in her mouth after the dance, you’re not reading between the sadomasochistic lines. I will help.

In the dark days, a certain Southern California team won the Cup. They did it after landing two of the best players in the league, namely Chris Pronger and Scott Niedermayer. Without those two, not going to happen. Almost every season since San Jose fired Dean Lombardi as their G.M., the Sharks have been a Cup contender and each season, they have disappointed. They haven’t even made it to the show.

Time is running out. The players are getting older. Their defense is not bad. Their goaltending is not bad. Their strength is their offensive attack especially their depth at forward. Rick Nash, a pure goal scorer, would probably fit nicely in the “style” of game the Sharks play, depending on the cost.

As for our owners, Leiweke and AEG are not accustomed to failure. They are rich and for good reason. They see what they want. They get what they want. They make a lot of money with what they got. Not so much with the Kings though. Do I need to give you the list of big free agents Dean Lombardi has failed to land? How about the trade deadline acquisitions he never made? But the stakes are higher now. This isn’t just Dean and Tim looking down at the size of their own rods and nodding in approval but a San Jose shaft right next to theirs that threatens to touch the floor. Under such circumstances, one can leave the room and mumble under their breath or respond with, “oh yeah?” and invest in an infusion of longitude. Rick Nash is 6’4″ after all.

While a logical and hateful side of me wants to see San Jose cut out their intestines for Nash and slowly bleed to their death in the coming years, I wonder if, at present day, Dean Lombardi tells Tim Leiweke he will try his best to land Nash and Leiweke responds, “your best? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.”