The Shit That Would Strike Shinola If The Sharks Landed Nash

I have never met Tim Leiweke. I have always wanted to. I imagine sitting down and talking puck with him over some damn good scotch (Macallan, 18 year, “neat”) would be fun.

How much more interesting would that discussion be if we talk about a moment in history when the San Jose Sharks, our North Cali rivals, landed Rick Nash.

If you haven’t heard (Hammond just found out), San Jose is on Rick Nash’s top 5 list. So are the Kings. If that isn’t an invitation for a couple of guys with maximum testosterone to one up each other and land the prom queen so one of them can stick a red leather ball in her mouth after the dance, you’re not reading between the sadomasochistic lines. I will help.

In the dark days, a certain Southern California team won the Cup. They did it after landing two of the best players in the league, namely Chris Pronger and Scott Niedermayer. Without those two, not going to happen. Almost every season since San Jose fired Dean Lombardi as their G.M., the Sharks have been a Cup contender and each season, they have disappointed. They haven’t even made it to the show.

Time is running out. The players are getting older. Their defense is not bad. Their goaltending is not bad. Their strength is their offensive attack especially their depth at forward. Rick Nash, a pure goal scorer, would probably fit nicely in the “style” of game the Sharks play, depending on the cost.

As for our owners, Leiweke and AEG are not accustomed to failure. They are rich and for good reason. They see what they want. They get what they want. They make a lot of money with what they got. Not so much with the Kings though. Do I need to give you the list of big free agents Dean Lombardi has failed to land? How about the trade deadline acquisitions he never made? But the stakes are higher now. This isn’t just Dean and Tim looking down at the size of their own rods and nodding in approval but a San Jose shaft right next to theirs that threatens to touch the floor. Under such circumstances, one can leave the room and mumble under their breath or respond with, “oh yeah?” and invest in an infusion of longitude. Rick Nash is 6’4″ after all.

While a logical and hateful side of me wants to see San Jose cut out their intestines for Nash and slowly bleed to their death in the coming years, I wonder if, at present day, Dean Lombardi tells Tim Leiweke he will try his best to land Nash and Leiweke responds, “your best? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.”



Categories: L.A. Kings News

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20 replies

  1. lmao…good one Bobby. you are one sick and twisted individual.

    as sick as it sounds. i will laugh my ass off if Wilson gets Nash instead of DL. i guess one must be a Kings fan for years to understand why it REALLY would be so funny.

  2. So they trade JJ in the package? I’d personally rather trade JJ in the summer before the draft to a team that needs defensive help and where we could move up in the draft and draft another defenseman (just joking, just joking….. settle down)….. and draft a forward who has size and skill and a touch around the net.
    That would A) keep Nash’s cap hit off of the roster leaving more flexibility B) I’m not sure what B is, but I’m sure it’s something or other. Oh, it would keep Bernier here to use as leverage in case they can’t resign Quick. Phew.

    C) I did in fact read on some CBJ blogs that while the fans like Nash a lot, there were a fair number that said there are nights when he plain doesn’t show up. That he can bring it when he decides to, but that it isn’t often enough. That would be ok on San Jose as he would have Pavelski, Couture, Marlelau, Clowe, Thornton and whoever else to back him up. On the Kings he’d have Kopi and Richards (maybe) to back him up.

    • Agree with some of your thoughts but on Nash not bringing it every night– the guy has carried an organization on his back, like it or not he’s gonna have off nights and they are few and far between. Quick and Kopitar have had their off nights too. I think if we are going to give up Jj or JB it has to be for a serious blue chip now and not more things that may or may not pay off down the line. Nash is proven talent.

      • Thank you Christopher Sacks a voice of reason,
        I agree with you 100% about the Nash side of things.
        I just think it should be DD and his contract that we move instead of JJ, for salary cap reasons.

        Go Kings!

        • Posters being printed “Voice of reason, Sacks ’12.” Though I imagine myself more as “fat guy screaming into the dark.”

          and thank you, for once I dont have to bribe my mom to post a follow up to make it look like folks agree with me.

    • Wow Drew, you read the comments of a few fans about a shitty teams superstar, that have made the playoffs once in their franchise’s history and they had something bad to say?

      That’s Geraldo journalism at it’s very fucking best!!

      I’ve watched Nash play alot over the past several years.

      1 point per game avg. against the Kings,
      .80 against the rest of the NHL
      in 649 carrer games- 277g=250a=527points.
      The only response I got, ya, but what’s his career plus+/-?
      It’s -74, -27 (1st year), -35 (2nd year) and -22 (this year)= (-84)
      Yet he’s a career (-74), so in the other 6 years of his NHL career his is actually +10.
      He’s also played in 649 out of a possible 738 games in his career.
      Which is pretty fucking good for the guy that carries this shitty team on his back and takes nights off!
      I gave you the career numbers against the Kings and the rest of the league and you still think he’s Randy Moss?
      You guys think Mike Richards’ back hurts from carrying Dustin Penner just part of this season?
      Try carrying the hopes and dreams of an entire franchise from it’s beginning on your back almost single-handedly for 9 seasons and see how your back feels!!!

  3. Bobby Scribe:

    Let’s have a Bromance!!!

  4. While I love reading it, the Bruckheimer quote you closed with has failed to inspire the team(like how it’s now your job to lift us out of this? We only give you the responsibility because your words have earned it) so I propose we dig a little deeper into the Brucker’s body of work to find us some words of inspiration.

    Going old school, pre-jerry-having-don-simpson-killed era….

    “The plaque for the alternates is down in the ladies room.” followed by a curiously homo erotic look.

    “A good pilot is compelled to evaluate whats happened, so he can apply what he’s learned. Up there we gotta push it.” followed by an ultra homo erotic look.

    “Rubbin’s racin’.” oddly enough, not followed by said look.

    And one I think they all need to chant as their pre game mantra–
    “Do you think your name will be on that plaque?”

    open to any and all other suggestions.

    • I should add, nothing at all wrong with curiously homo erotic looks, in fact they feel appropriate in light of the GM cock measuring contest mentioned above.

  5. Sorry to burst your bubble, but Los Angeles is not on that magical list of teams he would waive his no trade clause.

    I have it from a good source, that Nash has been bringing his family in around Columbus, built a crib, and is not interested in coming to Los Angeles.

    He may be interested in other destinations, but Los Angeles is not one.

    If Howson were to somehow get enough from a team, Nash has no desire to waive his no trade/movement clause if it is not on his list, which does not include LA.

    LA is only mentioned because all of these analyst seem to think, the Kings have enough players/picks/prospects what Columbus could benefit from.

    I disagree, since the best the Kings can do is maybe Bernier, one of the younger defenseman, and a forward and prospects and or picks, and giving away Bernier, especially when Quick is due to get paid at least 6-7 million as the UFA market hits after next season, CAP issues, and less than desireable pickings, would not be enough for Columbus.

    The Rangers have more to offer, since their GM didn’t piss away picks/prospects and young proven roster players. New York is much closer to Columbus, are an Eastern Conference team, which would be another issue, since normally you don’t trade from within your conference, so why start now.

    Get ready to see Lavern and Shirley back together, because our fuckin Flyer homer is trying to bring over as many of Holmgren’ cast offs as he can.

    Carter and Richards, aren’t going to save the Kings, an excision of the cancer from the head of Lombardi, to pulling the head out of Timmy’ ass will be a good start.

    AEG just raised ticket prices for next season, and from what I was hearing all around me last night was, “I think I am done” No justification for anymore abuse, on the ice, but now in a season seat and parking.

    Why pay more for season seats when the product on the ice has not improved.

    • I forget also that the fact is, I hate living in Los Angeles, so it isnt to hard to imagine others do to and may not want to move their families here given the choice. This plays into the possibility of Carter cause that boy loves himself the night life and one thing we got in spades is over priced drinks and tawdry nitwit actresses with great cans. Unfortunately him and Richards reunited means one of them is pulling a MacTavish and running over someone on La Brea.

  6. Slightly off topic— please clarify for me if you understand. Hammond works for the Kings right? So why is he reporting that TSN is reporting Hunter being put on waivers? Shouldnt he be the one with the scoop or do I have his responsibilities wrong?

    • My take is that Hammond is giving a nod to McKenzie for having it first as a courtesy, while he also reports it on his own having confirmed it with a Kings’ sources.

      Hammond seems to be in a weird middle position; he is not the Kings’ official team spokesman, and he is not an independent reporter. When he gets a scoop, it may be by design from the Kings, but the whole thing is murky.

      I wrote this elsewhere on another thread, but if Hammond gets all the news first then he is just a company mouthpiece and can’t be trusted to be independent, as in critical. If he gets none of the news first, then he is potentially unreliable and can only be trusted to print what he is told.

      He has the worst of both worlds. He is not a journalist anymore, he is in the entertainment business, that’s how I see it. Could be wrong, for sure Hammond is touchy about it.

      • That makes sense, thanks for clearing it up.

      • “If Hammond gets none of the news first, then he is potentially unreliable and can only be trusted to print what he is told.”

        I go with that… He said he wasn’t going to do that but all that per diem and jet travel has made him sell his soul.

      • I agree with what you’re saying but one of my biggest problems with going to the “insiders” site is that he rarely if ever provides a “critical look”. I asked on his site once why we didn’t hear more of his opinions and he responded that he was simply there to report on the game/team/etc. that his opinion and observations were irrelevant.

  7. “This isn’t just Dean and Tim looking down at the size of their own rods and nodding in approval but a San Jose shaft right next to theirs that threatens to touch the floor”

    another classic…

  8. If the CBJ trade Nash they are going to want another superstar in return. I heard some pundits on TSN nearly a month ago talking about Nash and saying how the CBJ were looking at what happened with Alfredson in Ottawa with the All-Star game and want to capitalize on the same sort of fan-love-in when they host the 2013 All-Star game. If they trade Nash, who will their star player be at the game?

    Regardless of whatever you think about the All-star game, it’s a money maker for the city (or at least the team) that hosts it. If the CBJ get rid of their big star and face of the franchise, they’ll need someone to represent their team at the show. I don’t think guys like Bernier, JJ, Penner, Stoll, etc. will cut it. They probably want a guy like DD, Kopi, Richards, Quick, etc. in return, which I think (and personally hope) Dean considers untouchable.

    If we can land Nash without giving up one of our ‘stars’ I will be very surprised

  9. Trade Doughty for Nash! The guy is so not worth 7 million a year.

    One game winning goal every so often plus 1 Game losing missed hip checks often minus 1 = ZERO

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