Dean Lombardi is pretty damn unpredictable, particularly when it comes to trades. More predictable is how we as fans will feel about his player management at the trade deadline. Aside from Fredrik Modin, he has yet to make a deadline deal that we have looked at either at the time or in retrospect with positivity. Needless to say I have little confidence other than the unyielding naive hope I carry with me as a permanent installation to the gallery of my passion for the Kings. That naiveté must at times give way to rationalization for my humanity to remain intact and in turn that rationality needs be tempered with humor so as to not be consumed by contempt.

So I wonder what will happen at the deadline. Not that I think anything Lombardi CAN do in terms of trades at this stage will be distilled into an effective panacea, I nonetheless find myself pondering the benefits of a major shake-up. Truly I have no idea what I think should happen, I only know what I want to happen and what I want is for the Kings to score more goals. As how to best achieve that goal, be it trade or stand pat and hope for the tides to turn, I can only shrug my shoulders, laugh and then cry.

So in speculating as to what may be Lombardi’s last words on the trade deadline as GM of the Kings, join me and mirror my smirks while we wade through our tears.

The Top 10 Things Lombardi Will Say At The Trade Deadline.

10. “Jay Pandolfo brings that experience on defense this team needs for the playoffs. Andrei is a fine young player and I wish him the best on the Islanders, but we all know defense wins championships.”

9. “This is a deep draft and any first round pick is like a top 10 pick in other years so we needed that room to move up and down the board. There are a lot of good defensemen coming through and we felt this was a good opportunity to get the best value for Jack Johnson so we sent him to Chicago for the first round pick this season and a second the next. Now we have more options as we go through the second phase of our 12 year rebuild,”

8. From Hammond:

(thoughts on the trade)

Lombardi: “(Sometimes) players get (taken out of the lineup). It’s (good) vanReimsdyk got (11 goals) this year (and) the (beast) has a (strong work ethic). (a player) and (a pick) was a (wonderful) trade for us and (yes, just wonderful).”

Meanwhile, the real quote was…

8. “All players get injured. It’s unfortunate vanReimsdyk got hurt this year but the kid has a bright future. Voynov and our 1st was a good trade for us and filled a need.”

7. “Sure Jeff Carter went to the Ducks for Nick Bonino and a 4th rounder, but in the end we just had to look at the fit. Does Carter fit? We didn’t think so. We have to do what’s right for our cap and Trevor Lewis, we know he fits, and we just didn’t want to part with him in exchange for Carter.”

6. “We clearly needed some offense and Nash was the best player out there. Originally the deal was just Doughty for Nash but we had to throw in our 1st after Hammond caved in to the pressure from Surly and Scribe and broke the news before it was official.”

5. “We’ve been working on this deal for a while and we’re thrilled to have Penner here for another 3 years at only $3.5 million per season.”

4. “It’s tough to give up a player like Kopi, but this guy has won a Cup and has a lot left in the tank. We’ve wanted him on the Kings for a long time and the timing was finally right. We are proud to bring Lecavalier to our franchise.”

3. “It was time to go in a different direction. Brownie gave us some great years but there is a reason Tuomo is so coveted. Ruutu has a lot of offensive upside and together with Chad LaRose bring a ton of compete. “

2. “Sometimes it takes 3 teams to make a deal. Man, that Parise, hell of a player. To be honest I’m shocked Lou traded him. Bernier and Johnson though, tough to give up. New Jersey and Detroit got better today and so did we. It’s a good hockey deal all the way around. Dan Cleary is just an old fashioned and solid hockey player and he fits with our core group here and hopefully Bertuzzi will make the long term commitment to Los Angeles.”

1. “Rich, take the rest of the day off.”