L.A. Kings vs. Chicago Blackhawks: A Wedding, Reunion & Promises Of Better Days

Tonight, I will be at a Chinese wedding. I am not Chinese. I am not any kind of ese but a male member of my wife’s family is marrying a Chinese woman and, for some damn reason, I have to be there. The fact my wife’s family is Italian brings a tinge of comedy to this entire evening – “So, this Italian guy marries a Chinese woman” sounds like the beginning of an off-color joke. I tried everything to get out of it other than faking my own death. I am saving that as a last ditch effort once I figure out if I can get a couple of friends to help and further determine whether I can make the 12:00am resurrection believable or not. But I am not the only one who will be witness to a sappy union. Tonight marks the reunion of Mike Richards and Jeff Carter.

Jack Johnson is gone. For those who wear wide smiles, I scowl at you. I loved Jack. I will miss Jack. Whether we traded Scott Niedermayer, Brad Stuart or Pavel Kubina remains to be seen. What will be seen is a yet another center in Jeff Carter converted to wing. I was just telling Surly the other day that we need more centers on this team. Regardless, the boy is a sniper. He can bury the puck. If he can’t score in L.A., Dean Lombardi should resign because I am pretty sure Tim Leiweke is not going to give any more rope. At some point, there has to be a hanging to satisfy the mob.

What we all of course hope for is an offensive explosion. Think Surly without sex for 24 months and Megan Fox suddenly interested kind of explosion. I want to see a 4-0 affair. I fear a 5-4 loss that leaves our balls blue. We are playing Chicago after all.

Speaking of the Blackhawks, their dreamy captain Jonathan Toews is out. He followed up an upper body injury rumored to be a concussion with an auto accident…and he’s not even Asian (I am getting it out of my system to avoid slip ups later tonight). Chicago is also without Niklas Hjalmarsson and Steve Montador. They are struggling with defense and goaltending. They are also playing like a team that really misses size and grit. Patrick Kane for Dustin Brown, a defenseman and a pick. Do it De…next L.A. Kings general manager.

We’re 2-6-2 in our last 10. Time to put together a fucking winning streak, don’t you think?

I’ll be viewing the game on DVR around midnight and no, I will not wait until the sun rises to watch it. The L.A. Kings are my Megan Fox and I am constantly horny for hockey.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to search online to see if there is such a thing as renting a casket.

This is your open forum.



Categories: L.A. Kings News

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50 replies

  1. What will be seen is a yet another center in Jeff Carter converted to wing. I was just telling Surly the other day that we need more centers on this team.

    You know the old maxim Bobby. Be careful what you ask for, even if it’s facetious.
    Anyway I think it’s great. I think that DL could now shape a unique team that virtually no other nhl team has.

    The ‘Centers’ team. All sorts of interchangeable parts. Wow. I mean, they can take turns playing centers.
    Remember Treasure of Sierra Madre? ‘Batches? Batches? We don’t need no stinkin batches!!’

    Wingers? Wingers? Hahahahahahahaha, we don’t need no stinkin wingers. We’re so strong up the middle that we just leave the overflow on the sides.

  2. Nice article. You are starting to sound a little like Tosh… bringing in some racial humor is always entertaining (dont forget to make fun of the whites too).

    I know how you are surprised by all the hate for JJ, and I personally am on the fence. The way I look at it is… will Voynov be able to replace Jack? Don’t even bring Carter into the equation. If SV can produce, which I think he will, then we definitely got the better of the deal. This allowed Voy to get back to where he should be, with the Kings, and I think that is a definite addition to our offensive game.

    Kings 4-3!

  3. The centers issue is a real eyesore for me. Dean stated that the main reason for the struggles and why he had to make the deal was “secondary scoring”. He lined out specifiically he didn’t have Parse, Gagne gets injured, and Penner didn’t provide what he had hoped for. That makes sense, and I couldn’t agree more.

    Only problem is, that all 3 of those guys are “left wingers”. Yes we need a sniper, and yes we need scoring, and yes we need to improve the power play. But he just traded our 2nd highest scoring defenseman, and goal leader for defenseman on the power play.

    I do hope Carter is a lateral move, but I’m starting to doubt DL even looks at the issues facing the Kings. I guess someone hasn’t informed DL that “left wing” has been an issue for 6 years now, and the only answer this season has been to put DB there.

  4. So he finds a casket to rent, sets up the death, but when they open the casket to put him in there it’s already occupied by the corpse of the Kings’ scoring touch.

  5. I for one will not have high hopes for tonight. Anything is possible. The team has to be mentally drained and anxious over the disappointing season, and actually the offensive futility. In my mind, watch more Kopitar and Brown to see if they actually play differently, more aggressively and feed better passes and play set ups. The Kings still need them to play up to past and known potentials.
    I would expect the defense to play well as usually is the case, with All Star net whiz Quick. What we don’t want to see is another game at the 10 minute mark in the 2nd period with the Kings still at zero goals, especially at home. That is a bad sign that the team is psychologically messed up still.

  6. So far this game has… Lots of icing calls.

    Kings got some jump tho, going to the net for once.

  7. … Wow, what a marvelous end to end rush by Stoll. Nicely done.

  8. That is Fucking Bullshit!

  9. … Aaaaaaand that’s a terrible call, if you ask me. Kopitar did everything right – he drove to the net, carried a guy with him, and slowed down when he got near the goalie. Horrible call.

  10. Well someone doesn’t want it get traded!

    Brown with the “fuck you Dean” performance.

  11. … Is Carter wearing 77, Paul Coffey’s old Kings’ number?

    I’m starting to like the guy already. :)

  12. … Stoll on Dustin Brown: “He’s our leader. He’s a very good captain.”

    Suck it, haters.

  13. Like that Stoll comment about Brownie. Good to see Kings with a little attitude tonight, not thuggery, just grim pride.

    So what’s up with these Fox Sports West girls? I miss Heidi Androl.

  14. Nice little fuck you from Brown to Mr Lombardi

  15. One thing Kings have not been great at, is answering their critics. When they get called out for not doing something, they have failed all season to prove people wrong. Dustin Brown just told a whole lotta mutha sutta’s to go sutt them selves. me included at times when I’ve questioned his captaincy.

    This season ain’t over. I wanna see this every game. Fuck, even Stoll is looking better tonight.

  16. … Looking at the replay of those two goals by Brown – I noticed there was no smile for Dustin, just a determined expression.

    And, I like it. A pissed-off Dustin Brown makes me happy.

    • yeah noticing that too. 21 years of Kings hockey, I’ve noticed three types of Kings–

      –happy go lucky, hey everyone’s smiling, goals come easy. Which usually leads to—

      –sad bastard emo morrissey, where have all the good times gone looking douche bags. Unfortunately, this is the Kings I know best. But, this every so often leads to —

      –I will stab you with my dick, Los Angeles Kings.

  17. … Well, hi there, Wayne.

  18. … Wait a second. THAT’s interference?!?!!

    Are you fucking kidding me here? Really?

  19. … Holy SHIT. Dustin Brown has a Hat Trick.

    Dustin: “How does my ass taste, Dean?”

  20. Short handed hat trick Brown?? Wow he’s reply fucking pissed off.

  21. Pity there’s a trade deadline if this is exactly what it takes to light a fire under Dustin Brown’s ass.

  22. Lol. To Brown. Not lol to Kopi

  23. What we’ve learned from this game, Bobby needs to befriend every Chinese person in Los Angeles. More weddings.

  24. … Damn. The Kings look like a different team tonight.

    A confident team. They trust each other, they look determined.

  25. … Anze Kopitar = Warrior!

    • The whole team has that fire. It stars with Brown and Kopi. This is the first game in a long time I’ve seen these two guys really put the team on their backs.

      Obviously I don’t expect hat tricks every game, but they need to play like this every game. Same drive. Same passion. Same attitude. Please oh please let tonight be a statement game.

      • … Funny thing is, I don’t think the Kings are working any harder than they did in their last game in Colorado.

        They’re just playing more confidently, they’re focused, they’re taking what the Hawks give them. There’s an efficiency to their play that has been lacking most of the season.

        • Confidence, fire, we’re talking about the same thing. Attitude.

          I agree they worked hard inthe Colorado game. Quick not being tired from poor management on Sutter’s part is a big difference.

          It also helps that neither Chicago or Colorado are very good on defense or goaltending.

          The Kings have had a handful of games like this this season, but they have all been blips on the radar. What makes me confident this can be a statement game is because one of the top players finally put the team on his back.

          • Quick not being tired from poor management on Sutter’s part is a big difference.

            … Yes.

            What makes me confident this can be a statement game is because one of the top players finally put the team on his back.

            … I used to have a coach who said “This is a good win for us, but it will only be a big win if we MAKE it a big win”, meaning that only sustained success will add to the significance of the initial win. The Kings don’t need to win ten games or whatever in a row, although they might and I sure would love that, but if they can run off a period of time where they win 4 out of 5, 8 out of 10, etc., that will add to the statement that the Kings are trying to make in this game today.

          • Agreed.

            Winning brings people together. Even you and I. :)

  26. … Standing O, well deserved. Great game, Kings.

  27. What a game! That’s what I call exciting.

  28. Would have to rank this as the best game so far. Attitude, grit teamwork everything was firing on all cylinders. Carter has a funky skating style but he’s fast.

  29. Looks to me that Brown, and Stoll have great chemistry. Let’s try Brown-Stoll-Williams and put Kopi as Left wing with Richards and Carter. I’d love to just see it.

  30. Congrats to Quick, 7 shutouts leads the league Ithink. On the other hand, Bryz the Sieve gave up 2 goals on the first 2 shots tonight in Calgary, who are winning 2-0. 9 years is gonna seem like 99.

    • 99 what?
      Oh nevermind…. I know you’re a Philly fan. You should check out the 36 episode on Mike Richards. I saw it tonight and have to confess that he seems like a really personable guy and a great leader.

      • I’ve seen the nhl36 ep four times so far LOL. (and if you saw it tonight, you missed the beginning, it was ‘in progress’ It’s on youtube and on the Kings wesbite as well) And what you saw is why he was the most popular guy (by the players acouunt) on the team. He’s very down to earth and personable. He’s a natural leader, and is thriving in LA. You can see how comfortable he is in that role by all the talking he does, on the ice, on the bench, always teaching/coaching. This is a good young team and he fits right in to the core group.
        Watching him and Carter tonigth, I couldn’t help but think how good Gagne will look out there (if he continues to improve , he was with the team today in a red jersey, which I guess is good) with Carter and Richards in the playoffs.

        • Thanks Deirdre. So, you’re from Philly and a Philly and Kings fan? Is that it?

          Whatever you seem to have a good understanding of the game. What are you doing on this blog anyway with all the boozing, sexism and swearing? (lol…… ?)

  31. Surly, just got a message from Dustin Brown. He said for you to tell your buddy Scribe, that please just lay off re-editorializing my interviews and what the hell I should or shouldn’t say. I’ll say it in my own way, thank you very much. Also tell him that I hope he had a great time at the wedding and stayed out of trouble.

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