Creation By Destruction: Kings-Ducks Open Forum

Ah, the dreaded birthday game. I’ve been looking forward to this matchup since the schedule was first announced. The Kings vs the Ducks on my name day. Serendipity. Or calamity? The Kings hold the puppet strings to my emotions with a vice like grip on a normal day. When one celebrates their falling out of the womb with a hockey game, the strings are felt to be pulled by one with palsy.

Speaking of palsy (because who isn’t?), Corey Perry gives me the shakes, the heebie jeebies. His skin tone is inhuman and when conjured with the spacing of his eyes serves as an apt warning on the dangers of procreation during the throws of nuclear fallout. Still, the skating radiation leak has helped to atomically charge his foul team from severed necrotic limb up the biological ladder to pulsating tumor.


I approach this game with no rhyme or reason. No cohesive thought towards strategy. Merely a duality. A penchant for progress. An appetite for destruction.

I am reminded of a story I once read, The Destructors by Graham Greene. The Ducks’ good play is a thing of beauty I can not stomach. It must be crushed and only through our part in its annihilation can peace be upon me.

Kopitar. Doughty. Carter. Richards. Fraser. King. Westgarth. Drewiske. Don’t care who plays. Don’t care who does the damage, so long as it is done.

Tonight is a season’s worth of games. I’m confident. I’m pumped. I’m ready for war. To paraphrase James Taylor, I’m going to the finals in my mind.

Dismember their defense. Eviscerate their goalie. Strangled their offense and snuff out their light. Burn it all to the ground and leave us with something more palatable. A feathery meal, picked to the bone. Two points and unyielding resolve. Beautiful form from their ashes.

Transcend effort. Immolate with desire. Absorb and effuse pride to embody victory.

Fuck the Ducks.

Go Kings Go!

Categories: L.A. Kings News

Tags: , ,

58 replies

  1. I’m ready for battle. Go KINGS!

  2. Happy Birthday! Hope the Kings will be serving roasted duck after the game! Go Kings Go! This is a 4 point game! Get Those Points!!!

  3. If the team only reads and grants your birthday wishes.

  4. “His skin tone is inhuman and when conjured with the spacing of his eyes serves as an apt warning on the dangers of procreation during the throws of nuclear fallout.” :D Classic!

    In a way to get in touch with my emotions I like to refer to song as it sometimes expresses my true feelings. So to all the Ducks organization, players and last but not least the dreaded fans, I’ve dedicated this song to you.

    Btw…wishing you a good birthday as the Kings satisfy your appetite for destruction.

  5. Let me put it very simple, if the Kings skate as well as Uggie, they will win tonight
    5 zip.

    Go Kings…

  6. Then 2 guys im working with today are both ducks fans. fuck the ducks we better win today for all the shit talking im doing

  7. Huge game tonight. Kings need to put a winning streak together. Let’s hope Carter scores his first as a King tonight and Brown keeps up his play. Carter and Richie will feed off of each other and need to get each other going.
    Check out my blog guys and let me know what you think!

  8. To quote Tyler Durden, “I felt like destroying something beautiful”

    I’m taking my kid to Ponda for the rematch on on the 16th.. we’ll be there with our Brownie jerseys and we aren’t covering them up for the walk in. Corey Perry is a brilliant player, but his weakness is defense. Lets go ahead and exploit that… and tire out Teemu early.

  9. Okay, game tactic tonight is to take out Hiller in first 5 minutes of the game and Kings win…

    Dan Ellis Out 4-6 Weeks After Surgery
    Mar 3rd at 11:52 am by Michael LombardiDucks
    Home » Ducks » Dan Ellis Out 4-6 Weeks After Surgery

    Ducks goaltender Dan Ellis had sports hernia surgery Friday. He’s expected to miss an additional four to six weeks.
    Ellis was initially injured on January 7th with a torn groin and it looks like we will be without him for awhile longer.
    Jeff Deslauriers and Iiro Tarkki have taken turns backing up Jonas Hiller while Ellis has been injured. Hiller has played basically every single game since Ellis’ injury. Although Hiller doesn’t mind, this is could be a huge problem.
    Hiller is the key to the Ducks success. Without him, they’d be screwed to say the least. He has been phenomenal all season and we need him, especially when it comes playoff time.
    I don’t know if Boudreau expects Hiller to never need a rest, but he will have to let him rest eventually. Tarkki and Deslauriers may not be ideal, but neither is Ellis. Now might be the worst time to have goaltending issues, but we have to deal with the hand dealt to us.

    • Hiller actually struggled hard to start the season. He has come on since a little before the Ducks made their coaching change. I like the changes to the defensive system that the Ducks made, and Hiller’s game has really benefited from the focus change since (the Ducks as a team have).

      Sorry I can’t wish you luck tonight, but I do hope we meet you guys in the playoffs (If we can ever get our act together).

  10. Hit, fight, hurt, score and win in regulation. Period.

  11. How dare you sir share a birthday with a duck. It all makes sense now. All of the antiterry murray darrell sutter, dean lombardi propaganda……. If you didn’t make perfect sense, I would have a problem with you

  12. There is a hockey bar here in Caye Caulker. We’ll be watching! Fuck the Ducks! Go Kings Go!

  13. Watching this one in person. My condolences to the guy in the kings tshirt with the ducks-jersey girlfriend. Must be quite a masochistic relationship…

  14. Come on Kings. Gay Porn Hard

  15. WHAT A …… GOAL!!!

    oops, sorry, guess the game hasn’t started yet. wishful thinking.

  16. … Figures that the game doesn’t officially begin until Fraser gets his ass kicked.

    • Hey Dutch! Myself and Player-X both got stuck in italics hell. Figured out how to get In to the italics…. but not out.

      Any suggestions as you’re good at getting the copy and paste italics thing happening.

      • … Well, to close the italics you’ll need a slash before the i.

        Or, as Mr. Miyagi would say, “First learn stand. Then learn fly.”

        • In other words….. before the ‘first’ i? Cause the opening is then (not gonna do it so it doesn’t go to italics, but) the same thing with a slash to Open the italics. But once I did it, I couldn’t get the hell out of it.

          Does that make sense?

  17. … Big credit to Jarret Stoll to break into the zone with the puck and get the damned PP set up, which led to the goal. Nicely done.

  18. Captain!

  19. Does bobby still want Brown on the second line? Scoring too many goals right now.

  20. For you slammers of Brownie’s stone hands..
    HA!!! Love our Captain
    GO KINGS GO!!!

    • No, actually it’s very unhelpful that he’s scoring. What if Richards and Carter both fail to get even a point (again) tonight? Four games running? I know it’s only end of the 1st but sounds like Brownie is the leader…… and not many are following lately.

  21. Happy Birthday!!! It’s mine too! Hopefully they win for us!!

  22. Carter!!! You fucking bastard nice goal!!!!

  23. … Welcome, Jeff. Nice to see the brokeback line get its first goal.

  24. … If this particular shift doesn’t serve to point out how useless Fraser is, nothing will.

  25. Forward in between dots = goal great fucking shit!

  26. … Thanks, Quick. Good job letting the opponent back in the game, man. Equal opportunity!

  27. … Did Carter and Richards share some intimate moments last night? Richards looks like a different player today.

    Perhaps all he needed … was love.

      • I remember when we first started
        You came to me and you were broken hearted
        I took you in and wiped all your tears away
        I gave you loving more than any other gave
        Don’t you know I’m the one and I love you girl
        I don’t care what they say you know you are my world
        Come back home to the one
        Who loves you more and more
        Soon you’ll see that it was me you were searchin for

        Oh my love searching for
        I really need you
        I really want you baby
        I need you and I want you baby
        Spring love – come back to me
        I gotta have you baby

        I can remember the first time we ever met
        The sun was shining
        Love was gleaming in the air
        You caught my eye and the next thing that I knew
        I was in love – I was so in love with you
        We were so close for a season of my life
        I wanted so much to have you for my wife
        But something changed
        Season came to an end
        I had to leave you
        And thats where my heartache began

        Spring Love come back to me
        I need you and I want you baby
        Spring love come back to me
        I really need you
        I gotta have you baby
        Springtime love is on my mind and I won’t forget
        The way we shared the way we cared
        And I don’t regret it
        I don’t regret it – come back to me darlin
        Springtime love is on my mind
        And I won’t forget
        Come back to me darlin
        The way we shared the way we cared
        I really need you my springtime lover

    • It’s so easy to talk shit from behind a keyboard!

      Your constant negative bullshit towards these guys is a real downer. I am sure Richards or Carter could punch your lights out with one punch.

      My super hot wife and I really like these guys.

      We are convinced your really a Ducks fan…….

      • It’s so easy to talk shit from behind a keyboard!

        … Must be why you’re doing it now, right?

        • … Just to clarify – this whole “brokeback” thing, for those who are a bit slow on the uptake, is a tongue-in-cheek thing. I thought posting the song lyrics up there would make it obvious, but apparently not. I do not think Richards and Carter are gay for one another, not that there would be anything wrong with that if it were true. Who Richards and Carter decide to love is their business, and doesn’t affect my life in any way; The End.

  28. Wow Johnny Quick working magic

  29. … Well, happy b-day to those who have them – it’s good to get a W tonight.

  30. JMFC – Jeff Mother Fucking Carter!

  31. Fuck the ducks
    Believe boys! We can make the postseason..

  32. Damn, that was intense.

    • Seriously. I had to suffer watching the Vancouver game because only 1 TV had the satellite working and then we caught the last 8 or so minutes. It was nice watching them lose though, and us win. Need to watch replays when I get back to the states.


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