L.A. Kings vs. Columbus Blue Jackets Open Forum: Jack Mother F’in Chip On His Shoulder

Jeff Carter coming back to Columbus isn’t a story…unless you are out of stories. Or dumb.

What is a story is one mother fucking Johnson who I expect circled this game on his calendar shortly after the trade, even if he may deny it tomorrow. He’ll probably say, “we just want to get the two points”, “you always want to perform in every game regardless of who you play or your record” or similar deflective niceties. Maybe he will actually tell the Columbus media, “I’m kicking ass and breaking some fucking heads on Thursday”, which, if Hammond wrote it, would come out, “I’m (motivated) and (ready to play) (this game).” I doubt it too.

Did Jack, our resident gym rat for four full seasons + this one, do a few more reps on the bench press this past week? Probably.

Has his smirk been more malevolent than usual? Likely.

Did his father, Jack We’ll Get You Out Of Ohio Son Don’t You Worry But God Your Mother Is Sick Over It Johnson say to him, “you go out there and **** them up! **** them for ****ing trading you, kick their ****ing ass, I will **** Dean Lombardi up myself if I see his ****ing face within a hundred yards of mine, ****ing kill them Jack, kill!” So that’s what it would look like if we had a filter on this site? Good to know. Will never happen.

Will he want to send Drew Doughty through the boards? Maybe.

Will he get the chance? Hmm.

Will he be a + something just to piss off our reader, Sydor25? He hopes not.

The Blue Jackets have won three in a row. Perhaps they have become comfortable with the spoiler role.

The Kings are suddenly en fuego, scoring at a torrid pace and ready to leap-frog the 28th ranked offense of the New York Islanders to catch…the Columbus Blue Jackets. Huh. An ironic coincidence. What?

What is the who with the how on the when at the where that will keep our offense going. I warned you last game about rising expectations and the Kings did nothing to quell it. They gave me 5 with a side of heart attack and tomorrow I want the former without the latter and a defense that shuts Nash and company down.

“Will Jonathan Bernier play?” This isn’t baseball. And yes. He better. He will. Fuck off. I don’t know.

While there is no story to tell about Jeff Carter coming back to the land of corn-fed females, let’s hope Carter makes one by following Ohio’s Super Tuesday with Somber Thursday for Blue Jackets fans. Did you know the infidelity rate for the State of Ohio dropped 0.5% after Carter’s trade to the Kings? It’s right here. How many women do you think he banged while there? Were any of them on the Ohio State Women’s Rugby team?







Blue Jackets won’t come out and play dead for us. We have to be as we have been – aggressive from puck drop – especially with our defense joining the rush. Columbus’ defense is porous. Let’s expose it.


Categories: L.A. Kings News

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38 replies

  1. Carter was interviewed by Hammond at LA Kings Insider regarding the upcoming Columbus game.

    Here is more on why Carter is regarded as a great trade:


    I agree. I like what I see and I have reason for optimism that this trade will produce more value and production for the team.

    By the way, if Carter has to get some tail before the game in order to the Kings to win, then, lets see that he is serviced. Then, either way, win or lose after the game, we see to it that he gets some more. Whatever it takes to keep him happy and scoring is all I care about.

    • Ewwww…. the Bleacher Report? I clicked on that link without realizing what it was first. I feel dirty now. Like I just got rickrolled.

  2. He brings a degree of relief to the rest of the offense. Balance. The top six is now a real top six. Say what you will about Carter, but the Kings are much more of a coaching conundrum for other teams. Our defence and goaltending are still stellar. But now offensive matchups are far more problematic for the opposition. We have a ton of centers that can play wing and win faceoffs. Carter adds to that, yet brings the intangible second line and power play scoring ability. The kings are now lethal and, now that Brown has awoken, hungry. We have a very dangerous hockey club kids…

    • And in regards to Johnson, he was a chip we could afford to trade and I wish him well.. Just not tomorrow!..

    • more of a conundrum indeed. The way Carter, Richardson and King have been rotating other teams have not been able to collapse against this line.

      As of JJ…does it seem to you that almost every time the Kings trade a guy he comes back to score against them the first time they meet?

      4:00 Game folks.

      • And there you go once again!
        We played like crap tonight..except for Bernier..he did his part..and Pens!! What got intio him?…find out and order a Case..no goal but using his Big body…
        GO KINGS GO!!!

  3. The kings have played much better since the trade and so had Columbus, win/win trade. I think its one of those trades that will help both teams. Im still a Jack Johnson fan, but im also becoming a Jeff Carter fan.

  4. The irony that this was a “desperation” trade by Lombardi (essentially a job saver after his coach was fired and his failure to develop a top 6) and not part of this fucking plan he keeps preaching should not be lost on you. We all hope it works out for our own sanity.

  5. I didn’t get to watch the last game. I won’t get to watch this one. Probably not the next, 1… Or 5. I am a sad Kings fan.

    • This is Just Not Right..( although we sucked tonight and you did not miss much..except a checking and muscling Penner)
      Are you a Tax man or what?
      GO KINGS GO!!!

  6. Random question,

    What the hell is the deal with Thomas Hickey? I’ve never gotten to see him play live, and there isn’t a ton of footage of him available on youtube… but there’s enough. This is footage from like four years ago, when he was four years younger, undeveloped, and even then, he looks good! His skating is pretty close to fantastic. He handles the puck well, head up. They showed one shot which looked really good for a defenseman.

    What is up with this guy? I have a good eye for talent in general, and I mean sometimes youtube clips are misleading because you’re not watching the whole game (basically i can only see how good his physical talent is in terms of skating, handling the puck, passing, and not what his gap control is like), but I’m telling you, he looks like a top prospect, and a top 4 defenseman, for sure. And that was four years ago. From those videos, he looks like he should be in the NHL right now if he developed at all.

    I’m not saying he’s Cam Fowler, but he actually doesn’t look far behind. He looks really good.

    So what’s the deal with him? Is his defensive game just a huge drop off? That’s something I wouldn’t be able to tell off youtube.

    But in terms of his physical talent level, skating, moving with the puck, he looks really good. So what happened?

    • I should add, I know Kings fans bag on this pick by Dean Lombardi, and so far it’s for good reason because he hasn’t played in the NHL yet, but I remember Sharks fans were also calling Logan Couture a bust 2 years ago. Couture had some injury problems after being drafted, it set back his development a little so he didnt make the NHL right away, and fans were calling him a bust. It’s possible management even started to believe it, too. They probably could have traded him for a low pick or just gotten rid of him, but they didnt, and eventually obviously the pick panned out.

      When I watch this footage of Hickey, like I said you can trust my eye for talent if you dont see it for yourself when you watch him, but he has some great talent in the footage I’ve seen. Im worried Lombardi is going to trade him for a 4th round pick, and he’ll blow up elsewhere. But that’s why Im asking what exactly has happened with Hickey. Is his defensive game the problem? Has Hickey also struggled with injuries? Lack of motivation? Staying in shape? When I watch the footage of him, I mean being out of shape and injuries are really the only two things I can imagine keeping him from being an NHL player. He already looked like a capable offensive defenseman for the NHL in those videos as an 18 year old or whatever his age was. Im sure he needed to add more muscle and improve his defensive game, as almost every d prospect has to before making the NHL.

      But Im wondering what’s happened with him, if his motivation has waned, or what the situation is, because finally watching footage of him playing awhile ago (and again now), Im really surprised he’s not playing for the Kings already, or even two years ago. I really like what I see from him. This is not Teubert or another typical Lombardi fail in that he missed some great all-star to pick someone with 1/5 the talent. Hickey has talent, he looks good to me.

      So what’s the story?

    • Actually Hickey has been troubled by injuries up until this year, finally he has stayed healthy and he was an AHL all-star this year. So anybody that rags on this guy should actually take a step back and let him develop. Most D men take longer to develop than forwards do and don’t start making an impact until their early to mid 20’s. Hickey has great skill and will crack LA’s roster in the next few years. Also I should add that he was a more of a offensive puck moving d man in juniors where he was awesome, but now is getting recognized in the AHL as also being good defensively, as his +12 stat would indicate.

  7. An absolute must win. I don’t give a shit if it’s a 1-0 win or 6-5 win but they must take this game and keep the momentum going into Chicago.

  8. For me the interest will be when Carter and Johnson face each other. Jack can have a big hit, but if so Carter needs to score. With any luck Carter can dance around Jack in the corner and beat him to the net.
    Penalty on Johnson = Jack in the box.

  9. Just speculation on my part, but, won’t the King forwards know how to beat Jack tonight, that is, know the weaknesses and psyche him out?

    More speculation, won’t the Jacket D men bow down to Carter and give him a free pass tonight, plus they don’t know how to defend him anyway?

  10. i don’t think JJ has the killer instinct to produce any of the scenarios you listed. (i think that is, ultimately, his biggest downside)

    i DO think carter is a vindictive, cold, SOB that will, if nothing else, be shooting the puck like crazy tonight – and boos from the crowd will only fuel the fire. and if he and richards are even remotely the BFF’s everyone paints them out to be, we should see some increased production tonight from that line.

    should be a good one.

    • Perhaps Carter will be cheered and have his fans that egg him on to do good tonight.

      Either way, Carter will do good tonight as he is motivated to prove he found the right place to play and get into the playoffs and shine in the playoffs.

      Yeah, Jack does not have the fire in his belly to slug it out with his old buddies. He came up from college ranks. He came here and made friends. He was the nice guy, class act guy, and those guys give ground to their friends.

  11. Can’t fuckin wait!

  12. “Will he be a + something just to piss off our reader, Sydor25? He hopes not.

    I’m sure everyone hopes that Jack isn’t a “+” tonight. :)

  13. God I hope MFJJ’s goal does turn into the GWG.

  14. 1. Jack hit the net. Figures.

    2. Thems is the ugliest female beach volleyball players I ever seen.

  15. So Pancakes is thinking about his ex wife eh?

  16. Just turned the game on. 3-1 to Columbus. What the fuck is happening?

    Also, how do I know the Kings arent a cup contender? Because if they truly were, I would say 3-1 to a bad team, big deal, we’ll score at least 3.

    But I see 3-1 with half the game to play, and I still get that sinking feeling that its already over.

  17. On highlights it looked like Matt Greene and Colin Fraser both out there on one of the goals. Sigh.

  18. Fucking Kings playing como mis nalgas

  19. Bobby must be happy tonight. His boy had the game winning goal and was +2.

    Kings down to only 4 regulation losses.

  20. That Jack Johnson interview after the 2nd said A LOT!

  21. Read between the lines Dean!
    Jack Johnson thinks you backed the wrong defensemen and your system sucks!
    He’s right on both fucking accounts!!
    Drew Doughty, is the one of the guys JJ was talking about who he learned from what not to do in his 2nd Period Intermission interview and everyone in the Kings organization fucking knows it!!!!!!!!.
    More importantly, everyone in the lockeroom knows it too, get rid of that $7 million dollar cancer this offseason!
    p.s.- JJ kicks DD’s FUCKING ASS in a fight.
    I’d like to see it someday!!
    First move new GM makes: trade Doughty and sign Weber or Suter.
    Second move Sign Quick to long-term deal.
    Third move trade Bernier now because, he’s a career back-up and once again got outplayed by Curtis Sanford!
    That’s who the Kings need to sign as a back-up.

  22. Here’s a what if:

    The new Kings GM calls the new Blue Jackets GM in July.

    Hey this is the LA Kings and I was wondering would you want to trade Jack Johnson back to us for Drew Doughty?
    We’ll even throw in Jonathan Bernier for Curtis Sanford.

    Columbus GM’s Response:
    Long silence, laughter, “No, we’re good”, click!!

  23. Jack “MotherFucking” Johnson!!!!!!!

  24. A private conversation with DP and DD.

    Dustin Penner and Drew Doughty are spooning in their hotel room early this morning.
    Dustin- “I can’t believe I didn’t score again, I hit the post on a half open net.”
    “No, wonder my wife left me!”
    Drew- “Dustin it’s not always about you!”
    “How come everybody loves Jack?”
    “I only held out to get all the money I possibly could despite being a distraction the entire off-season and everyone knows I’m better than him anyway, right?”
    Dustin- “Go to sleep Drew, I’m sure the game tonight in Detroit will be a much better result and you won’t have to be in Jack’s shadow again!”
    Drew- “We’re having pancakes in the morning right Dustin?”
    Dustin- “You know it sweetie, goodnight.”


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