Kings In Detroit Suck City

I missed Nashville. Sounded fun.

I missed Columbus. An achilles heel with an added punch to the Johnson.

I thought I would miss Detroit too. Hell, I doubt if I’m going to be able to make it to Tuesday’s home game against Detroit.

I’ve worked 70 hours this week. It will be closer to 80 by the end of today.

I am not a happy hockey fan.

But surprise, I get off work last night early enough to turn on my recording of the Kings-Red Wings game. It was such a grand old time until the last 5 minutes. You know what happened, I don’t need to explain it to you. I’m writing mostly to garner sympathy from the hockey gods and put out a plea that some force somewhere, be it god, man or spirit, turn Mike Richards back into the dominant hockey player he has always been. Los Angeles is where dreams die for actors with no talent better than order-taking and actresses with faces no prettier than the spoon-fed sacks of silicon all around them. It’s not supposed to be that way for the talented, the dedicated, the destined. I’ve always felt Anze Kopitar destined for greatness. Drew Doughty has spent most of his life oozing success and Mike Richards has clawed and scratched his way to the top of every league in which he has played.

I did not need to spent my only free night watching the Kings unravel against a beaten, battered and bruised Detroit team. I did not need to see Richards make as stupid of a pass as I’ve seen him make. I did not need to see Filpulla dance through our entire team in 5 strides. Nor did I care for Doughty letting Darren Helm keep full control of his stick not 3 feet from Jonathan Quick as I equally needed to see Quick make the save that saved the game and tallied two points.

It’s just one game. Sure.

It’s just two points. Fine.

It could just mean no playoff hockey.

I woke up yesterday cranky that I hadn’t been able to watch Kings’ hockey.

I woke up today cranky that I had.

Categories: L.A. Kings News

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11 replies

  1. Take two “Richards was a dumb-aspirin” and call me in mourning.

  2. Why is San Diego windy? Cuz L.A. sucks.

  3. How can I justify the time to keep watching? Instead of being cloistered with a bunch of masochistic hockey fans why aren’t I out in the sun, having fun like normal citizens ? Fuck me. Mom, I only wanted a pepsi….thirty five years ago.

  4. Kings last night performance was worse than even this dubious spectacle of King’s futility..

    Oh why Hockey Gods do you foresake thee.

    What next trials and tribulations are we King fans going to suffer before the curse is lifted???

    • I believe its the “Curse of the Goring” trade. Never should have traded the guy. That’s where it all started. It can be argued that this one move brought Harris and Lewis in to the organization and later paved the way for the drafting Mark Hardy where, years later, his debauchery would result in a very nice Kings power play degenerating to nothing and resulting in a slow but steady fall from the heights of hockey grace.

  5. It is true, the LA Kings are associated with the Marty McSorley Curse, which is actually documented on Wikipedia, and this is the official curse:

    Curse of Marty McSorley
    In the 1993 Stanley Cup Finals, the Los Angeles Kings led 2-1 when the Montreal Canadiens suspected Kings player Marty McSorley’s stick was too curved. After the stick was examined, McSorley was penalized two minutes for playing with illegal equipment and Montreal tied the game on the ensuing power-play. Carried by the curse-establishing goal, Montreal won the 1993 Stanley Cup. No Canadian hockey team has won the Stanley Cup since the Montreal in ’93. To date, four Canadian teams have made the finals only to lose to an American team. Oddly, the Quebec Nordiques who moved from Canada to the United States becoming the Colorado Avalanche, immediately won the Cup in 1996 and again in 2001.[30][31]

    What is the end effect of this curse? According to legend here it is:

    No Canadian Team will win the Stanley Cup, neither the LA Kings, and DL and Sutter, and
    Current Kings Ownership.

    A corollary is that Detroit has been rewarded as a USA Hockeytown with innumerable blessings and beneficiary of the curse.

    To break this curse, according to legend, is that the Kings have to roll back the clock prior in time to the McSorley 1993 stick curse and when McSorley arrived to the Kings in 1988.

    According to curse experts, the Kings have to purge themselves of Black and White, and return to Forum Gold and Purple and the Original Kings Logos and Crown.

    The LA Kings adopted the infamous Chevrolet Logo, and in year 2009 Chevrolet went bankrupt with the GM Company, as part of the curse that spread into other tangents.

    There is a minority view that the curse to be broken requires the team to return to the Inglewood Forum for at least one regular season game, against the Montreal Canadians, and beat them in an Overtime Game. In the Overtime winning goal, the stick has to be the actual McSorley illegal stick that was returned to its original league specifications.

    Now, I am not a believer in curses, but, since 1993 I have at been wondering about it…..

    • You gotta wonder but I’ve saying to go back to the old school unis before the start of the season. Kinda makes me wonder if they had gone back to the old unis would the bounces have gone a little more their way? How unlucky can a team really get in a season?

  6. If music describes a way a team plays here’s my take…



    Which is fine if you’re in a beer league hanging with chicks drinking beers

    The way I’d like to see the Kings Really Play…

  7. Oh, I was just reminded by another King fan that apart of the McSorley curse was that the Ducks (Smucks) would win a Stanley Cup and even more before the Kings’ curse is absolved.


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