The Annoying Orange. It Worked. I Was Annoyed. You’re All Fired.

My wife doesn’t curse often. In fact, during our entire marriage, I have heard her curse about a handful of times. Therefore, when she does so, it means something.

After watching the “annoying orange” bit the L.A. Kings in-game entertainment put together, the wife stated, “What. The Fuck. Was That?” I sat relatively speechless, stared at the big screen and answered, “someone working while under the influence of stupid.”

I then did about 30 seconds of research to find out this is not even an original idea.

The “annoying orange” character is owned by someone else and has a following. I will guess the L.A. Kings paid to use this idea.

I won’t take a long time with this. It’s barely worth what I have already written. The people who run the L.A. Kings in-game entertainment are morons, absolute unthinking simpletons who don’t even cater to the lowest common denominator but one that calls the latter group geniuses.

If you want to taunt the player in the box and entertain the fans, get a small version of Cartman to show up with a box of tomatoes, perhaps accompanied by Stan or others. Have a short and funny dialogue between them or skip the dialogue altogether and have Cartman start throwing the tomatoes at the player’s face. On the screen, the tomatoes can “splat” on the player and Cartman can finish with “my work is done here.” It took me 5 seconds of non-thinking to come up with that. I imagine the obtuse minded folks within the in-game entertainment department (I wonder if Danny Zollars was part of the motley crew that came up with using this idea) spent many hours at undeserved salaries and goodness knows how many thousands of dollars to use the orange bit.

If the goal was to annoy the fans, it worked. Just about everyone who saw it at or near me shook their head in disappointment.

This of course is a small part of a bigger problem. Whoever is running the in-game marketing show (Zollars and/or others) are just not very good. Their level of competence ranges from corny to dumb and I don’t refer to what every arena does like the kiss-cam and other typical distractions but ideas they try to pass off as original.

I wrote a long article about the in-game presentation and sent it to Zollars a while back. Nothing came out of it. I imagine little will come out of this as well for stupid is as stupid does.

Sorry for the distraction. Let’s return to hockey talk.



Categories: L.A. Kings News

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39 replies

  1. In all fairness to the Kings’ staff, that could have been an FSN thing. Either way, whomever was responsible for that needs to be considered for another position…maybe mail clerk.

  2. My gripe about in-game entertainment: Last season at the end of the second period break they used to play a video of awesome Kings moments set to You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid. They stopped during the playoffs. I have yet to see it this year. Does anyone else remember this? It was pure video awesomeness- the ONLY part of the in game entertainment that I enjoyed…and now it’s gone. I still feel a little heartbroken every time we go to a Kings game and the third period starts without me seeing that video. Sigh.

  3. I’m guessing the league has to approve in some fashion what is allowed to happen. Otherwise, how great would it be if between whistles the public address spoke directly to the guy in the box, like the voice of God…
    “Mr. Ott, You let your team down. You’re a disapointment to your franchise, this league and frankly, humanity. You sir, are God’s mistake.”

  4. Yes, annoying Orange is outrageously annoying, especially when it is coupled with other obnoxious things in life that drive us to scream….

    If the Kings are ever going to play Rebecca Black during a King Game, we will need to throw rotten oranges as the music team…

  5. We have fallen victim to the orange, you wrote about it, I read about it and watched the stupid clip… that is time we will never get back…

  6. … How embarrassing. But, that’s the Kings.

    As long as they have people in charge who don’t care about hockey or the people who come out and support hockey, they’re going to be doing stupid shit like this.

  7. Considering L.A. is the entertainment capital of the world it’s inexcusable how much of the in-game entertainment is cringe-worthy (with the notable exception of Bailey). The Ice Crew reminds me of a junior high pep squad, I don’t get a diehard hockey fan vibe from them at all.

    My biggest personal peeve is the This-or-That segment, specifically the choices. Couldn’t they come up with something better than choosing between Jersey Show idiots? And none of these guys are from the area, why would they have a preference between USC or UCLA? At least ask them questions that actually seem to mean something to them.

    Okay, rant over. But it felt good to get that out :)

  8. WTF?

  9. We all looked around at each other in section 304 in a state of complete shock, disbelief, and disappointment. What. The. FUCK.

    The Kings and the league would never allow it, but I would superimpose Daniel Plainview in the box insulting the offender…

    “Stop your nonsense, {Burrows}. You’re just the afterbirth. You slithered out of your mother’s filth. They should have put you in a glass jar on a mantelpiece.”

    Now THAT is entertainment.

  10. Quit fussing, Scribe!

    You probably don’t remember the old intermission “Puck-Stacking” contests. A fan would be at center-ice and get two minutes to pile as many pucks one-on-top-of-the-other as he could. After 30 seconds everyone who tried it got the stack about as high as it was ever gonna get, so the remaining time — that went on through boring eternities — was spent keeping the thin column of pucks from tipping over.

    The genius who created this fiasco was dragged screaming out into the parking lot. A Forum usher fired a bullet into the base of his skull. At the time this was considered an act of public sanitation.

    So if you think yo mama cusses now, just give her some of the old days and she’ll start talking like ME.

    • I say no more crap intermission junk and stupidity on the ice, as they ought to save it for the minor and junior leagues….

      This is not one of the LA Kings more respectable moments in entertainment….

  11. I believe I heard this nonsense while I was sitting on the couch watching the game on tv. Jim Fox was elaborating the finer points of Hockey 101 and I believe I heard this annoying orange diarrhea in the background. I remember thinking to myself, “What the fuck was that?” Now I know. Thanks.

  12. Warning to LA’s entertainment team:

    You definitely better not ever use this crap at a home game in any shape, form or color:

  13. The only thing I care about that’s orange is the stupid ducks beating the sharks tonight.

  14. I am sorry to remind people or let you know that some very foolish and low moments in Kings entertainment has been spoon fed to us over the years.

    Please do not let this stuff happen again:

    • Do the guys have to do this kind stuff if PR sets it up for them? Can they opt out? Hockey Fest, Tip-a-King and that meet & greet for season seat holders (can’t remember the name) is one thing because it’s direct contact with the fans, but a game show? I’ve always wondered about that.

  15. … Elsewhere, it looks like Lombardi took a little more time to bash the history of the Kings. There’s a really tough thing to do. Talk about shooting fish in a barrel.

    “I had done some research before I came here and I remember looking at the Kings’ history. It was 10 years before a first-round pick — Jay Wells — played for them. You have got to try to mess up your drafts to go 10 years before your first first-round pick plays for you.

    … News flash, Dean: The draft was a new phenomenon in 1969; it wasn’t what it has become today. Many of the expansion teams of 67-68 were trading first round picks for established players from the original six teams, in order to draw a few people to their games and keep their franchises afloat. Actually, I don’t think Dean should talk too much about the Kings’ past inability to hold on to first-round picks, seeing as how he’s dispensed of quite a few himself.

    Then they had a little period where they drafted well, but they traded Larry Murphy.

    … Yeah, it’s kind of like drafting well and then trading Brayden Schenn and Wayne Simmonds (and a pick) for Mike Richards.

    They got Wayne Gretzky and that was successful, but it had no staying power.

    … This sounds crazy, I know – but I’ll take success with no staying power (the Gretzky years) over failure (the Lombardi years). Better a has-been than a never-was.

  16. Mother Duckers started Deslauriers and not Hiller. SOBs.

  17. That orange is stupid.

    Speaking of in game entertainment, Ive aways been jealous of how Montreal lights their ice on fire with the video projectors. Looks really fucking cool.

    The Kings need to cut an opening video with shots of killer plays cutting back to black horses stampeding through medieval forests with fog, riders in black with silver crosses on their chests. Then shots of hardened steel blades clanging together, Quicks amazing saves cut to this music: (go to 23 secs in, then ending with peak at 1:45)

  18. Zollars asked “Dancing Boy” to come back – we KNOW he’s dumb.

  19. wow … just …. wow.

    that was about as lame as it gets …

    just … wow

  20. the guy who jiggled his belly fat will be on future videos, F O R E V E R.

  21. i’m surprised no one has any entertainment-based statistics.

  22. Do you have kids that were at the game? My guess is no because you obviously don’t get it. Southpark isn’t aimed at kids. Orange is. They want to get kids amped about the games just as much as adults, and orange is a property that can do that. You’re going to get your panties in a twist because of a 10 second clip of a talking orange ANNOYING the other team (something that’s HELPFUL to the home team btw)? Looks like you’re running out of things to write about.

    • My 4 year old daughter was at the game. At 4 she has been to more Kings games than most non season ticket holders attend in a lifetime. I saw her reaction. She looked at it, said nothing and went back to what she was doing. The dead stunned silence in the arena after it was shown (the same silence it got on Tuesday) is a good indication you are talking out of your ass. Now, if you laughed and found it amusing, well, as I wrote, the lowest of the lowest common denominator.

      If the goal is to make the kids laugh, there are far less obtuse ways to do it.

      • Ha! Great response. You insult all your readers this way? Brillant way to build a fan base.

        Great. You’re kid doesn’t know what annoying orange is. Most kids do. I think the property has over a billion hits now. A BILLION. Now I’m not saying it’s the most brilliant thing ever created, far from it. But I enjoy it, and so do my kids. The videos are harmless fun. We’re obviously not alone in liking them. (Again: A BILLION). My point is that you don’t understand it. you even claim that in your diatribe. Just because YOU don’t understand it doesn’t mean lots of others don’t. I’ve been to plenty of kings games too. I saw the Orange clip making fun of the opposing team in the penalty box. Everyone cheered and laughed.

        But what do I know. I’m just talking out of my ass apparently. You just want to be angry. So be it. Have fun being bitter!

        • I would roll my eyes at your comment normally. Seeing as I can also see your email address, I shake my head more vigorously in shame.

          All men have nipples, that doesn’t mean they have a point.

          Billions of people are assholes to each other, doesn’t make it acceptable.

          I may as well say that billions of people garden, therefore sod belongs on the ice.

        • I insult all forms of stupidity. If you want to be stroked, this is not your place. We cater to men as well as women who would kick your ass.

        • Brillant way to build a fan base

          the Orange … you don’t understand it.

          … 2/10. You can troll better. See me after class.

          Or head back to HF or LGK where you came from and never come back.

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