L.A. Kings Beat Oilers 4-1: Don’t Fuck This Up

Light eyes, nice smile, little waist, both rack and pinion. She’s not out of your league. You just haven’t earned it. You down right fucked it up more than once with the jokes that sounded better in your head and the story about your ex girlfriend that came across as creepy. Never talk about your ex. Idiot.

A better haircut, the risk you took with frosted tips that actually turned out to be an improvement, three times a week at the gym and some added confidence, she seems interested. You had a nice moment about 8 days ago. She not only enjoyed your wit, but she bit her lip amid a smile and flicked her eyebrows up and down when you threw in an innuendo with near perfect timing. Boom! If you didn’t wait until the end of the night thinking about the next move, you could have been in there but the whole moment reached a climax without a climax before there could be a climax and, thereafter, a part of your wondered if you just peaked and would get there again.

Some hard work, good planning and a little luck got the two of you together. You got in the zone fast, God it feels good being in the zone, you could do no wrong and this time she all but opened the door and pulled you in. You couldn’t fuck this up if you tried. So what did you do? A kiss, a feel, a tug, she wasn’t ready to invite you into her secret garden, you still have to earn that shit, but you’re all but there so long as you stay away from bad jokes, conversations about your ex or a sudden breakout of mono. Rumor has it she’s got a friend. You want to get laid? Don’t fuck this up.

We’re first place in the division again.

Dont’ fuck this up.

Go Kings!



Categories: L.A. Kings News

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29 replies

  1. Dude,

    Both those chicks have dicks!

  2. Again, I have to give a lot of praise to Quick for some amazing saves at point blank range. The guy is really on his game, even though people could argue that his first and only goal was stoppable. That first goal barely sneaked in in a bang/bang situation.

    This was really a team effort, rolling off 4 lines and running like a smooth BMW engine. The Oilsuckers were really thrown off balance and scattered and just always having to fall back to defend on rushes and forechecking and puck battles in their zone.

    It really made a difference for the Kings to start off with that quick goal early to seize the momentum. The attacking was strong and persistent and determined for the whole game and we are seeing now the Kings really live up to what they were capable of doing by many experts and commentators and pundits at the start of the season.

    They said the team arrives in Minnesota at 3 am. Get some rest and good relaxation for tomorrow, as yeah, you can seal the deal with a win tomorrow.

    GO KINGS GO!!!

  3. Say they hold on and wind up 3rd, Dallas gets to face the Canucks.

    And I hear Scott Parse might be ready to play in the playoffs! PSYCH!

    Chicago is a good team, not a great team, but a good team.

    Kings vs Hawks unless Crawford has some sort of invisible force fields in the goal, and the Kings suddenly spring on defense there is no reason why getting past the Hawks should be a upset.

    PHX finishes 8th and SJ is closed for the summer.

    Gotta love this final few games in the West.

    Quick for Vezina.

    • If Detroit keeps losing we could end up facing them instead of Chicago. :x

      • An opportunity for Detroit to take long awaited revenge for the frenzy on figueroa? I’m not sure I want to see that.

        Oh I’ll still watch it, but it’s more like a car wreck where you can’t look away….

        Lol. No seriously, I think the kings would have a legitimate shot against most of the teams they might face…so just get in and bring it on.

  4. My research reveals the brunette chick is as follows:

    Bobby, who are these two??? I cannot go to bed tonight until I know for sure.

  5. true fact is today is my birthday and they won to give me a present my boys love me

  6. I thought so…

    You are the man, great pick.

    That is a secret garden that we won’t want to miss, even if I just can enter to cut the lawn for her and throw some fertilizer where it is needed.

  7. Dude you gotta keep pullin pics off my Facebook.

    Oh yeah and there’s a new player on the kings 3rd line. In his first game tonight, Jordan Stoll.

    • Oh, if only we could change some letters (and swap players without the Penguins noticing) and make that Jordan STAAL.

      Wait. Nevermind. Still want to swap Eric for Jordan for my ‘Canes.

      Besides, Jarret Stoll on the Penguins would be like the good looking guy in an episode of Star Trek, the one who always gets killed off because he’s better looking than Shatner(Crosby)…

  8. Damn what a game. Watched it late after playing some hockey. :D If the Kings were a race car driver the dude had no concept of the brake pedal. Lead footed to the floor and there was no chance of letting up. Quick had some insane saves especially that one on Hopkins all alone in the slot. Score could have easily been 4-3.

    Give Bernie the net tomorrow. Gonna be a tough one no doubt.

  9. I am loving that this team isnt going into the defensive shell. Keep the pressure and awesome cycle going.

    • So the odds of having this condition is far, far greater than winning the mega millions last night.
      I wonder what that first lover teen dude felt that made her visit the hospital.
      Dr Phil ought to bring her on his show to discuss why $1 million is too little or million years is so long.

  10. The guys are getting it together at just the right time. They are playing with a sense of desperation, and like they want and deserve to be in the playoffs, and more importantly, to win in the playoffs. Quick is playing out of his mind, and the offense is finally giving him the support he needs not to have to steal more games than the team outright wins. I like the Kings chances against any 1st round opponent. Bring on the post-season!

    GO KINGS GO!!!!!!!!!

    Gotta love the pic of Heidi and friend!

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