Johnny: “What did you have to drink?”

Bobby: “A lot.”

Johnny: “No, what, not how much.”

Bobby: “To drink?”

Johnny: “Yes.”

Bobby: “A lot.”

Johnny: “Fucker!”

Byron Bitz got suspended for two games. This would have a greater impact on game two if his name was Kesler. I don’t like this trade-off. They lose a scrub I’ve never heard of (narcissism be damned), we lose Kyle Clifford for at least one game and are stuck between Andrei Loktionov or Kevin Westgarth and I don’t take either of those two over Kyle for this series. Bitz claims:

“I had no intention of targeting the head or injuring anybody. That’s not the way I play.”

Have we considered forgiving Bitz and waiving the suspension? Have we considered that Vancouver is a worse team with him in the lineup than without? I don’t know, I am just asking.

Dustin Penner is a funny guy. From Helene Elliott:

Kings’ Dustin Penner on Vigneault recognizing him as someone Canucks must stop: “I think he recognized me from my 4 years in Edmonton.”

More Penner: “I don’t know if you watched me but I used to be a good player.”

What is the over-under on how many times Matt Greene will lose his helmet during game two? This should be a drinking game except when it happens during the same shift that Jarret Stoll takes an offensive zone penalty, you finish the bottle.

I was going to write about this whole L.A. Kings Twitter account controversy and the apology that followed but, honestly, Travis Hughes covered it pretty well (1000 people just went “who?”) which surprised me because I generally don’t expect anything worth reading out of sbnation. Here is Travis’ article. Man, can you imagine if the L.A. Kings tweeted a top 10 list like this? Or how about one like this? Or, holy shit, THIS? Then they would have something for which to really apologize. Remember that our humor (or lack thereof) is a click away at the drop down menu bar atop your screen entitled “Surly & Scribe Humor.”

Was Ryan Kesler always a diver or is this new? It’s been a long week but I am drawing a blank here. I know Burrows, the Sedins, Luongo, hell the entire fucking team, but Kesler?

I admit I am perplexed as to why the L.A. Kings went to the Terry Murray default low to high powerplay. I am all for using it in conjunction with other formations but the be all, end all? It was effective two playoffs ago against the Canucks. Maybe that’s what we want Vancouver to think we intend to do and, tomorrow, we mix it up and murder them with low release plays…a boy can dream.

Mike Richards has received a lot of accolades about Wednesday’s performance. He was impressive. I have been asked numerous times why he was not my number 1 star. My star selection process is the intellectual property of my ego and therefore is not for public consumption.

Thank you to everyone who visits our site during the playoffs. We are on pace to shatter the single day record. We will likely surpass over 10,000 visitors today. That’s cool. Remember to bring your own beer.