LA Kings @ Vancouver Canucks Round 1 Game 2 Open Forum: Shame Imposition

It’s another day. A rainy, miserable day.

But this thunder and lightning that beats at my door pales and trembles at the flash and the bang that crashes through my heart. Roars echo, cascading off living room walls and bar urinal stalls as the LA Kings take playoff ice once again in Vancouver.

Tonight, the Canucks face the prospect of shame. Shame imposed by our own strong will. Shame deserved by their own impudent souls.

Daniel Sedin will not be there to help them. Andrei Loktionov will be called upon to hurt them. Andrew Ebbett replaces Byron Bitz and Keith Ballard replaces Aaron Rome. That adds offense to their game while sacrificing what some may call grit but is more truly the trademark of abused childhoods and gang wars.

Our game must be one of discipline, ambivalence and the narrow focus of the righteous journey into the unknown. Vancouver will come out hard, heavy and insistent on proving the last game to be a fluke. We must not allow this to change our game, only to elevate it. We must not expect to have seen their best. They will look to contain Mike Richards. If the deeper in the playoffs we get, the better he gets, then he shall not be contained.

Build on the last game. Continue Doughty’s aggressive play. Carry on with Mitchell’s lethal stick work. Greene’s positioning diminishing his lack of foot speed. Williams’ genius in tight spaces. Brown’s bipolar directionality. Kopitar’s stalwart 2-way game. Cohesion.

Say your prayers.

In the name of the Captain, the Son of Philly and the Holy Goalie.

Our Kings, who art in Vancouver
Hallowed be thy game.
Thy kingdom come, thy wills be done
On their ice as it is in practice.
Give us this day our daily goals, and forgive no Canuck their transgressions,
As we pound into submission those who trespass against us.
And lead us past the first round,
Past these evil Canuck fucks.

Hail Kopi, full of grace, the fans are with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst players and blessed are the fruit of thy skills, goals.
Holy Kopi, dominant of centers, play for us sinners,
Now until the hour of our Cup.

Go fucking nuts.



Categories: L.A. Kings News

Tags: , , , , , ,

31 replies

  1. Put it up, take it down, put it up… quit teasing us already!

    • it’s up! it’s up! I wanted to schedule it to auto publish a little while after I wrote it and the wordpress app on my phone doesn’t like to listen sometimes.

  2. All I got to say, do it again, do it again, we like it, we like it….

    GO KINGS GO!!!

  3. Simple…….WIN!

  4. A-Fucking-men…Go Kings Go!!!

  5. Let’s come back from Vancouver with a two game lead, and the Canfucks in a hole they can’t get out of! GO KINGS GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Thank you for the prayer again!! A-mother-fucking-men!

  7. … Anyone looking at the Pens/Flyers game? Let’s talk about it. Flyers had momentum from their game 1 comeback, right? Then Pittsburgh got it from scoring a couple early goals today. Then, the Flyers got it from save and a goal. Now the Pens have it back.

    It’s almost like momentum doesn’t actually tell you anything about what’s going to happen next.

  8. Impudent!!!! That is the WORD!!. Nice.

  9. Is Westy or Lokti playing tonite? One hr till game starts can’t wait GKG! Let’s bring the series back to LA up 2-0.

  10. Surly, or Scribe, i forget. But one of you is so right on about Quick confusing everyone with his puckhandling.

  11. How many penalties can Vancouver commit before they get called for one? A one, a two, a three.
    I feel like an owl eating a fucking lolipop!!!
    Nice elbow against Kopitar huh!!!

  12. This is why I fucking hate Vancouver, they’re assholes and don’t care who they hurt outside the whistle or the rules. The fucking officiating in this game is a joke!!

    • I just hate their fucking diving. I have this image of the Ref skating to center ice, turning on his mike and saying “the next canuck to fall for any reason whatsoever….5min major and game misconduct.”

    • It’s the jabs at the goalie after the whistle that really piss me off. And for their effort, they lost like bitches!!

  13. Pancakes, Lewis and Richards!! Great effort this series. Doughty playing like the check finally cleared the bank and Brown leading by example.

  14. … Yes, the Kings got 4 goals. But it’s hard for me not to say that Quick didn’t steal this one. Amazing. Quick earned some big playoff stripes tonight.

    I’m so proud of this team. Unbelievable.

  15. Proud. That is all.

  16. Man I thought I was sweating off pounds from the tension of the last game? Tonight I’m dropping weight like Karen Carpenter.

  17. I was gonna watch the game again on Tivo, but I think my sperm shorted out the remote control.

  18. Thank you for being a “Captain” tonight Dustin, now do it again on Sunday and Wednesday and send those FUCKING Canucks on summer vacation!!!!
    They can practice their diving and fake getting hit in the head for the next several months, bitches!
    Come on Anze fuck someone up, forget about the Lady Byng and wear the Stanley Bling!!!!
    Go KIngs!


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 4,286 other followers

%d bloggers like this: