From The Province.

“Kings Worried About Resurgence of Canucks. Hire Big Shot Hollywood Consultant for Help”

 It’s true, the Kings have hired on one of the entertainment industry’s heavyweights to help “bolster” their chances for ending the series when it recommences on Sunday.

Hal Epstein of Hal Epstein Inc. is responsible for such entertainment innovations as:

1. “Waving your hands in the air like you just don’t care.” Until Epstein came along, people were just encouraged to “wave in an apathetic, uncaring manner.”

2. Unionizing Fluffers.

3. Leading a think tank made up of bio chemists, theologians, and scientists to clone an actress made from a troll doll, kitten DNA, and Paula Poundstone. You’re welcome, Zooey Deschanel.

Epstein was kind enough to share with me some of his ideas to help the Kings get over the edge and eliminate the Canucks on Sunday:

Click on the Province link for the rest of this abortion and tell me if you “get it” because I’d like to think Surly & I have a damn good sense of humor and, speaking for myself, this sucked something fierce.