Oh, game two of the Stanley Cup Finals, is that it?

The Kings are up 1-0 on the road you say?

Tonight they could go home to Los Angeles up 2-0… For the fourth time in a row?

Fascinating.

A guy could get used to this.

So much has been written (finally) about the Kings. Both teams had jitters this, the ice was crappy that. Kovalchuk WILL be better. OK, so will Doughty. The Devils will make a strong push. They push against a solid wall.

I have not heard of any lineup changes as of 3am on the East Coast. The Kings needn’t make any and they would not solve what few problems the Devils have. This is a good team we are playing. One that was a whiff or three away from taking game one. But the hockey gods do not act chaotically. The Kings earned their overtime victory for resilience and opportunism.

Was game one truly a trial run? Were both teams suffering from a caterwaul of nerves? Will we see a vastly different game than the last?

I don’t think so. I believe there will be a few more quality chances for each team, but overall we will see the same type of hard forechecking, neutral zone intensive game. Breakouts and zone entry will favor the Kings. Puck recovery and speed around the boards will favor the Devils.

The game favors the Kings, for one critical reason; defense. Our defense will own theirs. Bryce Salvador is the poorest of Willie Mitchells. Anton Volchenkov is an overpaid Greene. Peter Harrold will be Slava Voynov when steroids are legalized and Marek Zidlicky holds a small candle to Drew Doughty, a candle that incinerates before it has the chance to melt.

Still, the Devils will again pose a formidable challenge. They must win a game on their home ice or the solemn sight of a Cupless summer will begin to crystallize in their minds. Winning one of the first two games on home ice is one shade above the bare minimum for utter failure.

The Kings have red marker poised in hand.

An X here. A slashed O there. The promise of a game three played in Los Angeles for a third win.

For this, for posterity of poise, relentlessness of intimidation and soundness of system, we pray.

In the name of the Captain, the Son of Philly and the Holy Goalie.
Amen.

Glory be to the Captain,
And to the Son of Philly,
And to the Holy Goalie
As it was in the beginning, is now,
And ever shall be,
Playoffs with the Cup end. Amen.

Bless us Oh Hockey Gods, and these thy gifts, which we are about to receive, from thy bounty, through LA Kings, Our Team. Amen.

Blessed are You, Kings our Team and Team of our fathers, Team of Dionne, Team of Luc and Team of Gretzky, the great, mighty and awesome Team, exalted Team, who bestows bountiful goals, who creates all wins, who remembers the insanity of the fans, and who, in love, brings a redeemer to their fans’ children, for the sake of Our Kings.

In hockey heavens who is great? Thou Kings art great!
On ice who is great? Thou Kings art great!
When thy voice resounds in hockey heaven, the hockey gods fall prostrate!
When thy voice resounds on ice, the NHL kiss the snow!

Peace be upon no New Jersey fan, without mercy or blessing of Kings.

Holy Sutter, Holy Stevens;
We give you thanks
that your Schemes, Attitude and Leadership
Are manifest with Power and Pressure
throughout all zones,
within all lines,
and we accept your Tutelage now,
in defense and forecheck.

I pray to the wunderkind, the play-maker, destroyer of all cap space, the enemy of forwards, of great brilliance, the descendent of Orr and of Borque, the one who shines like the Dewey flower.

I invoke and call upon thee O Father Mitchell,
Lord of long stick, Master of all lanes and gaps.
I invite you to the blue line;
Defend it, sustain it, make it home.

Blessed is he who is The Piece for the sake of wholeness.

As it was,
As it is,
As it shall be
Evermore
O Thou Carter
Of goals!
With the forehand
With the backhand
O Thou Carter
Of goals!
With the forehand
With the backhand

Our Rookies, King of steadfastness, strengthened Nolan, Voynov foothold, support us against the disdainful people.

I profess myself a Penner-worshipper, a Pennercakean, having vowed it and professed it. I pledge myself to the well-played puck, I pledge myself to the well-delivered hit, I pledge myself to the well-fed monster.

Let us know victory.
For as long as the skates shall glide,
For as long as the chemistry shall flow,
For as long as the goal light shall shine,
For as long as the confidence shall grow,
Let us know victory.

Voices above,
Voices of Fans,
Yell from your couch or barstool;
Voices below,
LA King’s Inner-voices,
Speak from the dreams of childhood;
So may our playoffs be beautiful.

I think over again our regular season.
Our fears,
Those small games that seemed so big,
For all the vital wins
We had to get and reach.
And yet there is only one great win,
The only win,
To live to see the great day that dawns
And the silver light that fills the Cup.

Our Kings, who art in New Jersey
Hallowed be thy game.
Thy kingdom come, thy wills be done
On their ice as it was in thy first three rounds.
Give us this day our daily goals, and forgive no Devil their transgressions
As we pound into submission those who trespass against us.
And lead us past this final round,
Past these evil Devil fucks.
Amen.

Hail Kopi, full of grace, the fans are with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst players and blessed are the fruit of thy skills, goals.
Holy Kopi, dominant of centers, play for us sinners,
Now until the hour of our Cup.
A-fucking-men.

Go fucking nuts.

GO FUCKING NUTS!

GO KINGS!!!

IT’S THE STANLEY CUP FINALS!

GO KINGS GO!!!

GO KINGS GO!!!