In case those in the media haven’t noticed, there is a Stanley Cup Finals series going on between the L.A. Kings and New Jersey Devils. Yet, on the radio, television and on the internet, I constantly have to listen to or read about how this or that celebrity showed up at Staples Center and then suffer through the reporting that these attendees fit into a broad and vague category called “bandwagon” fans. The media of course means this as an insult toward our city and its hockey loving citizens as they attempt to cast us all into the role of casual, self-absorbed fans that want to be “seen” at an event. To the East Coast media, I say this…

Look assholes, just because we have sunshine 12 months out of the year and we can surf, ski, eat sushi and head down to the local ice skating rink for a pick up game of hockey, all in one weekend, doesn’t mean we can’t kick your ass on and off the ice. Do you see Surly and I labeling New Jersey fans as convicted felons, child support obligors who are more than 36 months in arrears and vagrants just because they have a, per capita, larger demographic of such fucks as part of their fan base who attend games?

No.

We are fucking polite.

We don’t label people out of ignorance. We do so out of merit and based on well thought out and informed opinions, like when we call Ducks fans the stupidest fucking fan base in hockey.

Los Angeles encompasses Beverly Hills, Hollywood, Century City and a lot of places with a lot of wealth, including but not limited to wealth that comes from movie stars, musicians and those in the public eye. If they, unlike the die-hards, represent 1/10th of 1 percent of the fan base and want to come out and catch a hockey game, it’s a free fucking country. They can do as they please…so long as they don’t go outside to smoke a cigarette during the game and then try to get back in.

So spare us the bullshit. It’s not us that are obsessed with celebrities. We see these fucks all the time. It’s you. You’re like that newly arrived immigrant from a third world country that has never seen a woman that isn’t covered from head to toe in a black bee keeper outfit and you just got off the plane and saw your first side boob and now can’t shut up about it. The fact that you can’t stop talking and writing about this tells me that you have nothing worthwhile to report…and that makes you East Coast ignorant. You can add that to bias.

Yesterday, Surly and I walked out of the game and we saw this midget walking by us…and Surly gave him shit for being an Islanders fan because that’s how Surly rolls.

Here is a picture to make your dick hard, because goodness knows you won’t find a beauty like this lurking in Newark.

Go Kings!