Damn These Superstitions…Respect The Hockey Gods

Going up 3-0 in this series terrified nearly ever Kings fan out there, present company included. The media keeps talking about 45 years without a Cup but what they don’t realize is that our fans aren’t used to winning. Going to the Stanley Cup Final is like taking a heart patient into a strip club for the first time. It may kill us. So we do crazy shit to cope.

Surly told me last home game that he has worn the same underwear for the past 3 days…or was it the last 3 games? I am not sure which is more disturbing to his fiance.

Homeless lady comes up to me at the gas station on Wednesday afternoon and asks for change. I tell her I don’t have any. She leaves. I check the center console and I do have some. Now I feel terrible because I didn’t give her change. Did the Hockey Gods see that? Are they upset? I am chasing her down trying to pay her.

I always wear a black Kings shirt when I watch games at home. I couldn’t find it. I asked the wife and she pulled it out of the dirty hamper. Damn it. I had 2 other ones that weren’t black but were clean. “Honey, I really need to wear that shirt…” She looked at me, confused as to why the shirt she held was more special than the other two that were clean. I didn’t explain. She didn’t ask. Just to prove the whole damn thing was silly, I didn’t wear the shirt tonight…now, I can’t stop thinking about it.

I sit down on the couch to watch the game. My phone is to my left, controller to the right. I then stand up and pace. I sit on the floor and toss the controller aside. Floor sucks. I move to the other couch. Nope. I change locations to the coffee table (no idea why they call it that. I have never once placed coffee on it). I sit on top of it. My daughter’s dog comes to hang out. I pick her up and hold her. Kings get hemmed in their zone. I gently toss the dog aside and ask her to go find my daughter to play. I just gave a full sentence instruction to a white poodle. My daughter shows up immediately thereafter with the dog by her side. Huh. She asks me if the Kings are going to win. I tell her yes. She asks me if the red team is any good. I tell her they are evil. “Evil?” she asks. “Evil”, I repeat. My wife shows up. “Mommy, the red team is evil,” my daughter explains. “Nicely done, honey,” the wife says to me. I move back to the first couch. All of this in the first 5 minutes of the first period.

Carrlyn eats a meatball sandwich each game day. She ate one in the car before game four and is persuaded that was bad form. Oh Carrlyn. You are as crazy as Surly.

Let’s get them out in the open. Let’s address and identify them for what they are. Nonsense. We have talked about this before. There is a significant difference between superstition and showing respect for the Hockey Gods. Let’s be logical and use our reason. We have clearly strayed from the path in the past two games. The bounces and puck luck have not been with us. Yet, we have played well. That means the Hockey Gods are not upset at us. They simply need us to correct whatever small diversion we have taken from enlightenment. I want you to now and forever renounce all your superstitions as being irrelevant to the L.A. Kings’ fate. The Hockey Gods will favor us again and it will commence with game 6. Let no man, woman or child who wishes to see the L.A. Kings lift the Cup doubt their ways.

May the Hockey Gods show us the path and blaze our trail through to the Stanley Cup.

Go Kings.

Categories: L.A. Kings News

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31 replies

  1. So are you calling for a united kings front abolishing of game rituals and superstitions. Like shaving of the beards for the mustache or Something? Like the collective not wearing of the lucky jersey?

  2. So my purple bra and underpants, kopi shirt under LA Kings hoodie, jamba juice on game day, and “Puck” (aka Hostess Ding Dong) after the first period is just a bunch of ridiculousness? Say it ain’t so. You mean I can throw my Kings knee socks with the large hole in the left heal and hole in the right toe area away?

    Holy shit……..I just touched my neck. I wasn’t wearing my usual necklace.

    Fucking shit……it’s my fault. I’m shamed. WAit…..that doesn’t matter anymore. Right?

    I’m going all black under my jersey for game 6 because we all know that it’s that stupid “We Want the Cup” chant from Game 4 while the Kings were tied that angered the hockey Gods and started this silly 2 game losing streak. right? right?

    I’m confused and possibly on the verge of some sort of melt down. Oh and I still need someone to cover my class on Monday.

  3. I am a pretty superstitious guy, which only happened after I started playing goalie during my high school years. As most people know, goalies are fucking weird! We tend to be a very superstitious group of people. However, I am a well educated, and intelligent guy who knows superstitions, especially those that involve our beloved teams, have no outcome on the game. But as I stated earlier, I was a goalie, so sometimes my goalie mentality wins.

    During these playoffs, I have worn the same shirt and pair of boxers for each Kings game. The first game I did not wear the same combo was game 4 against Vancouver. So, as you can imagine, the inner goalie mentality took over and I swore that I would always wear the same combo for the rest of the year. Needless to say, all of the other losses the Kings have had, I was wearing the same combo, yet the Kings still loss.

    I’m with you on this Bobby. I am highly considering having a completely different ensemble on for Monday. I am even contemplating shaving my playoff beard just to shake all of these superstitions aside. I’d like to hear what some of you other Kings fans think of this. Is this bad juju, or does it not matter. Ill check back in early Sunday morning and see what the verdict is.

    No matter what, I love our team! GO MOTHER FUCKING KINGS GO!!

    • I play college baseball as a pitcher (similar to goalie) and if my pre game ritual seemed to not work, I wouldn’t do that anymore. Just pick something else because there is no Karma or luck/ unlucky in that ritual. Thats the way I look at it. Use it till it doesn’t work anymore.

  4. Nailed it. The dog must get on the couch a certain way on a certain portion of said couch. Must recite your prayer 3hrs prior to game. Must have 211 in frozen glass (that can stay). Today I broke from these traditions. We still lost. However….does that mean I must make ridiculous new superstions that “work?” No! It means We must drink our way through this like countless generations of men have done since the discovery of yeast and grain. Like we Kings’ fans have always done. That is what got us here and that will win us The Cup.

  5. Got it. I am a good lieutenant, and I follow orders.

    I just called my landlord and told him that tomorrow he has to change the elevator buttons to put in #13, as it is so asinine superstitious insanity to have me living on the 13th floor in reality but I have to hit #14 to reach my floor.

    See my current problem: http://www.thetwentyfirstfloor.com/main/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/the-13th-floor-superstition-282×300.jpg

    The hockey gods will see that such superstitious insanity is being corrected and will give our guys a few red lights for Monday night.

    Like I say, respect the hockey gods (how can devils respect anything godly?), and all will be
    taken care of:

    GO KINGS GO!!!

  6. … The Hockey Gods know. They know our love for the Kings is pure. They know how long we’ve waited.

    I’m just a small part of this. I want the Kings to win the Stanley Cup because they will have deserved it. It’s not for me as much as it is for everyone within the Kings’ club and those who have followed this team and devoted so much of their time, energy, emotions, and money.

    Of course, we all selfishly want our parts of this. I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with that as long as we’re aware of the goal of the collective and humbly give our hearts over to that goal. It really doesn’t matter how we individually do it. Some choose to be superstitious, others believe in keeping good karma. Nothing really wrong with any of it, as long as our hearts are in the right place.

    Stay confident. Stay the course. This team – look, I’m not telling any of you regulars anything you don’t know. We know this team. They are playing the game like they believe they can do anything. I have waited so long for a team like this. Watching these guys learn how to win together is so very beautiful to witness. They believe, man. So, in turn, we ought to believe, too. Believe in ourselves individually, and believe in the collective effort.

    This is not time for fear. This is time for bravery. This is time for strength. If you’re going to game 6, give this team a little bit extra. You can’t be afraid to slay the dragon.

  7. I’ll tell you exactly what the small diversion is. Discussing and planning a celebration before there is anything to celebrate. Trying to set up the perfect place and way to watch the game. I watched at home but in my head I was wondering how long it would take to get downtown at 7:30pm after we win. I talked to several people about whethe the Kings would be flying back tonight or tomorrow if they win and how we would need to take the partying easy if it was tonight and we needed to get I the airport at 4am.

    After the game I was texted about a suite at Marriott for Monday. I finally just said ‘no comment’. We’ll plan it ONCE an only once it is required. Until then it is vapor. The hockey gods frown upon tryin to weigh vapor.

    • What is truly lame is that my dog’s decision as to how she jumps up on the couch or my little rituals can influence the outcome of a game are at all @
      relevant. The only constant between 1978 and ’91 or ’93 or ’01 and this proper (re)build is a few ice cold beers. I will simply stick to beer and belief in this team.

  8. I think if we start talking like the cup’s already ours and it’s just a formality from game 4 on out….yeah that could piss off the hockey gods. Maybe it’s just me but some weird shit’s been going on the past two games.

  9. So it’s ok to fill a jacuzzi with inflatable LA Kings Stanley Cups and wade around like it’s a ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese while a video montage of every goal we’ve scored in the post season plays with We Are The Champions blaring from the speakers? Sweet!

  10. Humbled silence through victory or defeat is…. I will remain humbly silent!

  11. We all know deep down that my Clifford jersey draping a half inch to the left really had no effect on the pucks hitting posts last night, but it makes us feel better. The little rituals make us all feel bigger and more important, like we have a bigger role to play. We all need to feel important. Some folks need alcohol, some need Jesus. Just being a fan and believing is what you need to do. When that jerk off at the gas station with a fucking “Coexist” bumper sticker says “i don’t know, they couldn’t close it out in four..” what you can cosmically do for your team is kick him in the fucking ovaries and jack off into his Prius’ gas tank… or verbally remind him that we are playing the best team in the East and sometimes it takes more than four straight games and get over himself. Then ask him how his Lakers are doing or whatever team he is routing for this week.

    More harmful I think was all the media attention and the general assumption by the hockey community that this shit was closing in LA in four. Underestimating your enemy is a slight to the Gods and for that we have been challenged. Love your team, enjoy your rituals if it makes you feel better, but respect the fact that this is a cup that has to be won over two months of grueling post season play and should never be assumed is in the bag. We will earn this the way we have all post season. Go Kings Go!

  12. I couldn’t let it stay at 13 comments…

  13. Last night was the first time i did all my superstitions and the kings still lost. After thinking about it, to win the Stanley Cup is not routine, and regular superstitions do not apply. So i think im going to change it up for the win. Hockey is the only thing im superstitious about, and i have no explanation for it. Anyone going to the Staples Center DO NOT let the Devils keep you quiet, bring the energy, let the team feed off it. GO KINGS GO.

  14. This post is just what I needed ..lighten the day.
    Tacetrack people are the most sperstitious..add that to us King fans..you can imagine how bad I am. I have 2 pair of lucky Purple panties that must be worn for games..esp since playoffs started..put inwash Fri..got distracted..went to work. Sat am..4 1/2 hrs sleep cause I stayed up after work making room on DVR for yesterday’s game. Fumbling to wake up and get ready for Saturday turn around at racetrack( early post Belmont). Going.to watch game at Marriot after work..boom realize underwear is in wash machine..ahhh ..got them dry..got to work on time. now I am thinking maybe I wore the home ones and it was a road game :/

    Surly is not alone.

  15. What everyone fails to mention is what Voodoo curses the Devils fans have placed upon the Kings and us. We need a Catholic priest to exercise the demons in Slava Voynov. The Parise goal goes to show the hockey Gods are toying with us, that they’re not mad at us, but merely amused.

    On hockeybuzz, I’ve been toying with Devils fans the past two games. Bad karma. I won’t post is their forums anymore until this series is over.

    I don’t get nervous until the game starts, then I’m like a kid in high school having sex for the first time. I don’t know what to do. I will try my best to become nervous inbetween games so that during them my heart will be made of steel. Preferrably stainless because it looks nicer, but ill take rusted metal if it helps.

    Oh, are we supposed to be taking superstitions awa now? Dammit. My whole plan is ruined now.

    • Oh, and all females who go to Staples on Monday need to wear clevage shirts to distract the Devils. One pair of watermelons behind the bench won’t cut it. Plus, she’s a Toronto fan so it gives us only a slight distraction level.

      Don’t get weirded out if some of the males in your section look at your breasts. They are just making sure you are in compliance with the new dress code. Pay them no attention, they mean no harm.

  16. To cleanse ourselves of all this, we need to collectively watch game six in the buff. We will be absolved of hocckey sin and be pure for the game.

    Guaranteed win. (Did I just jinx it?)

  17. I am starting to think that my family is a curse on the Kings. We live in San Jose and try and make all of the games here. No wins this year. We’ve been to 5 games in LA and only my son and I have witnessed a win. My daughter and wife are 0-fer the year. The daughter is 0-7 including game 4 of both round 3 and round 4. We had a chance to go tomorrow night, but aren’t considering it.

  18. I’ve been to 3 post season games with my hubby – the one in 2000 when they beat the Red Wings in overtime (after tying it in the 3rd period), this post season: game 3 against the Coyotes and game 3 against the Devils. I’d say if y’all want them to [***] it, someone send me a ticket for game 6!

  19. Don’t worry guys, the reason why we lost is because my brother and I were not able to watch the past two games at his house. Every game we watched there was a win. This Monday, the game is being watched at his house. I do believe the Hockey Gods will recognize this ritual to be performed in their favor, and a victory will be ours.

  20. Someone help… I cannot think of the Kings without getting nauseous. Nobody loses when up 3-0, right? Bad penalty, post, post, bad penalty, post… God damnit the Kings are playing just the tip and they need to stick that mother fucker in!

  21. There was a whole bunch of pre-game chatter in the news today from NJ and some Kings, i.e. Doughty, Richards, Brown. Our three big guys more or less said that the team became caught up in the distraction hoopla prior to game 4. They feel it is history and now it gets down to the reality that it all matters on making it happen on the ice. I applaud their collective sincerity and reality check and vow to get on with business on the ice.

    For NJ, they go on the bragging and gloating route with giddy loving their momentum and causing the Kings frustration and disruption of their party plans. There was some wise crack that the team saw 10 limos parked at Staples while their team bus pulled up on game 4. Hence, they brag that collectively they were on a mission to spoil the shin dig in the making. Oh, all so convenient to say that. In their smugness, they can cackle like a bunch of hens with preening their feathers.

    Doesn’t any team go out and play based on heart and soul and desire, with talent, rather than some bogus smack that there was supposedly some 10 limos that made them motivated to win game 4.

    Sounds to me as pure fantasy and trash talk, all fabricated to make them laugh and giggle among themselves. Let them have their childish playground fun, because, they can’t take any of that to the bank. Banks want the cash, moo la, dinero, which only counts with bankers.

    There can be a 1000 news articles doing pre-game talk, along with any number of broadcasters doing their gig, but, the bottom line for me, is that professional players, the best of them in particular, know that it it all boils down to performance and execution and making things happen to win.

    It looks to me that the Kings have been given their wake up call, the ringside bell is about to ring out, and they now possess all the right stuff to throw a lot of awesome jabs, hooks, punches, with a K.O. somewhere hidden but ready to be unleashed in the rink.

    GO KINGS GO!!!

  22. The kings are going to close this out tonight, they are the more talented team with the better goalie and i wrote all about it on my blog and how to bet it right here http://nhlblogman.com/2012/06/champagne-still-on-ice-for-now/


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