The expression “you can’t please everybody” sure as hell applies when you win the Stanley Cup.

First, some chick gets hell-bent out of shape on Twitter with Dustin Brown so I step in and give her a rash of shit for her adolescent behavior with some of my own…for those looking for a link, I have none for you. It’s at least a month old. If you followed me on Twitter, you would already know what I am taking about and you probably would have joined in.

Now, Jonathan Quick’s high school coach feels “snubbed”.

This got me thinking. What would I do if I had the Cup for one day and, most importantly, who would I disappoint? The list came to me quickly.

  • 4th grade girlfriend, Jennifer. Bitch broke my heart.
  • Timmy Love…for wanting Shane Doan on the L.A. Kings. If he apologized, I would consider letting him admire it from afar.
  • The County of Orange. Anyone who is worth talking to in this town would travel to L.A. to see it.
  • Tuan Jim, not because I don’t love him but because he would likely ejaculate on it if he got too close.
  • Matt Barry unless he brought some Hollywood tail with him.

What’s yours?